In hard times, it’s important to remember your times tables

10 x 10 is 100, 10 x 100 is 1000, 1000 x 1000 is a million, a thousand x a million is a billion, and a thousand times a billion is a trillion.

One of the more bizarre aspects of contemporary life in the West is how we’ve all become blasé about massive amounts of market intervention monies being used to combat ‘valitillydee’ in stock markets, currency values and so forth….but the experience for most of us is of living on smaller and smaller amounts every year.

The 3% (who have allegedly now become the 1%) measure their incomes in millions, and the intervention they need when things go wrong in billions. Governments then being forced to bail them out and/or defend their currencies against the speculators (who earn millions and cost billions) cost these exercises in trillions. This is because a million x a billion is a trillion. It’s all quite simple, really.

When, towards every year end, multinational companies set their tax accountancy dogs onto the HMRC bill, the amount starts out in billions and then winds up in the very low monetary base level rarely heard about these days, thousands. So if the original bill was £1.5billion, and the dogs of whore get it down to £200,000 (such is not unusual) this too makes mathematical business sense for almost everybody: if a thousand tax accountants earn £100,000 each on the job, the globalists win because they save billions, the accountants win because they make millions, and the shareholders win because the dividend gets bigger by thousands. This too is because a thousand x a thousand is a million. Innit brirrant how, like, it all squares off?

It works, in fact, for everyone except the Treasury….and we the ordinary law-abiding taxpayers, who wind up losing our health and welfare packages to pay for it all. Take my situation: Zirp has cost me on average £1,500 a year since 2010, and there are just a gnat’s under 30 million taxpayers in the UK. My case is atypical because I have (or rather had) some capital, but actually it’s pretty much the same for everyone: a real average ‘wage’ of £5,000 a year (including all unemployed, retired, full time housewives and those in further education) is now worth 30% less than it was twenty years ago….or £1,500. The tax rate we, the peasants, pay on that will be circa 15%….or £225.

We are, by now, aware of being down here in the base dregs of society, because we’re measuring things in hundreds. But fifteen hundred pounds more earned by us comes to £45billion… so you see, if next year we don’t do just, say, nine tax-evasion deals with fat globalists, we can all have our salary values restored to where they were in 1995, and the Treasury would get £6.75bn in tax off us, plus £40-50billion more off the piggies.

Result, happiness.

But not from the neoliberal viewpoint. Because you see, the shareholders would lose and lots of them are institutions. Pensions would be in danger. Without Zirp and QE, the banks would collapse and the stock markets tumble, and then the Treasuries would be emptied (once we’d been dragged screaming to be bailed in) and government as we know it would cease and would all that really be such a bad thing?

Anyway – although all those things could easily happen come what may – it will be (perhaps literally) over the dead bodies of the 1%. So very large numbers of worthless fiat notes will continue to be thrown at lost causes.

Here’s today’s eye-watering example: despite intervening to the tune of £47billion during last night’s trading, the People’s Bank of China looked on in horror as the Shanghai composite index fell another 2.9% anyway. It fell because Yellen’s Fed speech said there’d likely be another rate rise in March. Now the European markets are wobbly because the Shanghai fell, and New York didn’t react well to Yellen and so S&P futures are uncertain and….here we go round the mulberry bush.

Yesterday at The Slog: Can Cameron keep the lid on his little HSBBC problem?







  1. So before the financial crash, what event is going to get us and the rest of the EU into martial law?

    Oil, China, Russia, War, apandemic, a biological attack, a nuclear attack, Immigrants…….

    Or will they wait until it goes pop?

    And when the finance system goes pop, do the people look to where the 1%, the connected and corrupt have deposited their monies?


  2. Why do the Yanks devalue everything? As well as the piddling little billion we now have, they also pour a mere 16 fluid ounces into a pint, and their ton is a lightweight 2,000 lbs


  3. John as I’m bored to death hearing German news on about the “Flüchtlingskrise” I offer up several reasons why it is happening. Maybe one of them is true.

    1. The Bundesbank (BuBa) gold is slowly being repatriated to Germany. Why so slow? They have to check that the stuff ins’t tungsten!

    2. The TTIP is an ever present threat to Germany. Call me a nutter but the skies over where I live – near Munich’s drinking water – have been erm….rather full of vapour from jet engines of recent. I’d love to be just called a nutter though.

    3. The Deutsche Bank – seems it wasn’t only employees they let fly over to London to enjoy the lax rules and oversight – assets also flew over. If DB goes under the scandal would be that the German taxpayers money has been gambled in the Las Vegas of finance – I think there’d be rather a lot of “sauer” faces here.

    So these three are perhaps the tip of a large iceberg of an intricate web of chicanery underlying all the nonsense going on. Who knows perhaps even more is at stake.


  4. Admittedly, gallows humour aside, the comedic potential of this subject is limited but, nevertheless, I feel that it has a certain filmic quality. And so, rather than spending my last few quid on a gastric band for the cat, I have decided to invest in a new cinematographic project: The Bills of St Trillions will star the no expense Upton O Good and be directed by the no account Munif Orol D’Rope and will take place in the Sahara Desert – which, culturally speaking at least, now covers three fifths of the planet. Due to the location, large amounts of Cameldung will be a hazard that must constantly be negotiated with.


  5. So the British would rather print money (that is to say, borrow the money from the privately owned Bank of England and pay them the interest) – than see the props of their economic figures disappear in a puff of smoke.

    Isn’t that all that’s left of Britain’s economy now?

    Jeremy Stocks I wouldn’t worry too much about the effect of TTIP on the German economy. All it will mean is Germany will begin to look more like Britain; poor regulations, higher taxes, less responsibility from the government. The sort of thing that’s complained about on this Blog. Mind you, Germany might do the unthinkable and join Asiana (was that what George Orwell called Russia/China in his 1984?). The owners of Airstrip One would not appreciate that.


  6. “dogs of whore” – what a superb description.

    “Treasure Islands, Tax Havens and the Men who Stole the World” by Nicholas Shaxson should be required reading. If reading this book doesn’t make your blood boil, I would suggest you are either dead inside, a member of the <1% or possibly a tax accountant with one of the Big Four. I sometimes suspect that the latter two options necessarily include the first :)


  7. Although your headline now has 1000 x million = one billion, it still has one million x one billion = one trillion.
    One trillion is 1000 billion or one million x one million (= 10E12)
    Yours pedantically,


  8. they say the latest scam venue is Reno in nevada.. rotshilds has moved out of swissy and gone to reno with all his friends from grand caymen baharmas switzerland etc… this link is just funny to me but please be warned of bad language…


  9. No problem. Just print some more please.
    Who ‘ll notice, and who cares anyway?
    If the people think it’s ok they’ll go along with the status quo.


  10. Bagerap, are you suggesting that the likes of Goldman Sachs and other large corporations are missing out on all that lovely money the government has to pay in interest?

    After all, there’s no point in the institution if it goes back into the bottomless pockets of the Treasury, is there? That is to say, there has to be a way to skim off the cream, in the manner of Greece or Germany ;)


  11. ED
    I simply can’t keep up, but thanks again. I was using the Timothy Geithner Warsaw Conference 2011 Bazooka Method for my calculations…


  12. In the US we have the IRS who will seize the bank account of a business owner who deposits over $10,000 cash without sending a report to them. They will also seize money from people who deposit less than the reportable $10,000 claiming the smaller amounts are structured deposits to get around the $10,000 limit. Somehow corporations can not report hundreds of millions and the IRS looks the other way.


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