In Greece, the US and South Africa, the gargoyles are running the Communion Service.

* The Greek government is scoping out a plan to tax citizens who turned in their license plates because they couldn’t afford to keep a car. The ‘logic’ here is that they are evading tax by not paying the licence any more, and technically yes, the conclusion is sound: more and more Greeks are also driving without insurance because they can’t afford that either. What we need here, however, is some sort of viability analysis probing the likelihood of somebody paying a tax designed to penalise them for not having any money to pay a tax. Tell you what – let’s stand McKinsey down and conclude ‘zero’.

* Dan Hannan is rapidly becoming a parody of himself. He’s at the GOP convention (who’s paying for this MEP to be there, we ask ourselves?) and a few hours ago tweeted thuswise: ‘So Mitt is a good businessman, compassionate employer, selfless friend, decent churchman. But was he ever a community organiser? Eh, eh?’

There is something about Dan that seems to suggest short trousers, but for the record, here, from July 27th last, is the Slog’s properly balanced choice-audit between Opeless Obama and Rapacious Romney. It sort of gives the lie to compassionate employer and decent churchman. It is called Butterfingers v Sticky Fingers and it represents the triumph of objective over the objectionable.

* ‘The 270 miners arrested over this month’s violent strikes in South Africa have been charged with the murder of their 34 colleagues who were shot dead by police’, reports the Daily Telegraph. The Zuma regime’s rationale for this surreal police decision is a piece of “common purpose” legislation much favoured by apartheid governments from Verwoerd to Botha. It “places responsibility for any fatal confrontation with armed police on whoever challenges them” confirmed Frank Lesenyego, spokesman for South Africa’s National Prosecuting Authority, without breaking into a maniacal giggle.

Earlier this week Police Commissioner Riah Phiyega confirmed that the 34 murdered miners died after police shot them down at the mine owned by Lonmin. But the executioners are innocent because agitators asking for a living wage made the murders inevitableburble booble bumble bingle argle oogle pop.

On March 3rd 2010, The Slog posted that ‘Jacob Zuma is a corrupt, womanising, controlling and ruthless ANC hardliner. To those of us old enough to have marched against first Smith in Rhodesia and then the Botha dynasty in South Africa, he is a walking betrayal of our support.’ Jacob has now begun the task of proving me more right than even I knew I was.

That last sentence is, I hope, in keeping with the surreality of today’s opening burst of bollocks.