Order, order….today is PMQs (Pointless Meandering Quarrels) and thanks to my new Ward-factor 7 white time van, The Slog is able to bring you this exclusive preview….
Speaker: Mr Ed Miliband…
Ed: Could the Prime Minister tell the House why his Chancellor is looking rather pastey-faced?
Miller Band: Horr horr haa ahaha
Dave: The same reason your Shadow Chancellor is called Balls, I’d imagine.
Scamerons: Orrr horr horr heeee hhaaar arrhaaar
Ed: Does the Prime Minister believe this House should pass a new Hunting Law?
Miller Band: Harr harr heee hoohooharr
Dave: You’d have to be a cunning stuntman to pull that one off….
Scamerons: Ehhhhhuuurha Hiyeehahaha
Speaker: Order, ORDER! The cameras are live so please can we have more noise so I can shout order, ORDER!
Ed: The Prime Minister arrived late today. Warsi signing off some expenses?
Miller Band: Resign! Shame! Boooo! Eton! Out of touch!
Dave: Calm down Ed, at least she’s not my sister.
Scamerons: Brilliant! Genius! Irreplaceable! Magic! Hurrah!
Dave: Ithangyoo playmates, it’s turned out nice again, ‘ere, no, listen missus…he’s fallen in the water, stupid boy….
Spanish banking problems overtake worries about Greece, focus on rising Spanish debt yields, Aussie slips on weak retail sales data, Syria at tipping point, Gatwick in chaos, Doctors close to strike action, euro and bank shares plummet, Asian Markets collapse on Spain/ECB row news.
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