mesmile Our very dear Commission friends,

The bullying illogic of your merry little band has been there for all to see over the last forty eight hours. It will, of course, have gone miles over the heads of the Remoanoid 48% (or been simply missed by people who have real jobs to go to) but it was there – and it is now my labour of love to point it out in 70mm Sloggerama.

You’re all reading to prepared scripts, and they all use the same on-it’s-head patronising mendacity employed by Adolf Hitler in 1938 on the subject of Czechoslovakia: “I’m am tired of all this prevaricating…..my patience on this subject is now exhausted.”

The script was written and first performed by unser geliebter Verhofstadt, whose style and delivery on the day was that of the little Austrian corporal during one of his more hysterical arm-waving and spittle-sprayed evenings in the Berlin Sportpalast.

All we hear is what Britain doesn’t want. Just for once, can the British Parliament say what it does want? Because we are exhausted by it all. Please, at last, can our British friends make up their minds?

I have no doubt that, like Herr Hitler, Mr Verhofstadt gets unpleasantly tumescent during these regular performances of ham-anger. He is, for all Leavers in the UK, the gift that keeps on giving; but equally, he has given out his scripts, so now all you gofers are reading it out….with the odd bit of time-worn Barnier bollocks thrown in. Oh, and the reference to us as “their friends”.

German foreign Minister, Monday pm: “We are exhausted by it all. The clock is ticking. It is decision time for our British friends. We will not renegotiate any of what has already been agreed. For God’s sake make your minds up. We no longer care what you decide – just get on with it.

French foreign minister, Tuesday am: “Here we go again, round and round in circles with a House of Commons that does not know its own mind. Now it seems there will be no more votes….and if there are, they will merely say what our British friends don’t want. It is all very exasperating. We have worked in good faith for over two years, but now the British must make their minds up”.

So now it’s time for a voice from the 52% to deconstruct this projective, hypocritical nonsense.

First up, the British People made it abundantly clear what they want in June 2016: to throw off the yoke of your bloated, unaudited, non-Sovereign, federalist, snail-growth, unaccountably bureaucratic, rubber-stamping wannabe empire….and go back to working with decent partners around the world who don’t demand we chop our own testicles off just to make a deal.

Second of all, you are right: we know exactly what we don’t want – your non-negotiable, never-negotiated, rigged full of mammoth-traps set of Nazi demands that suddenly popped out of nowhere in November last year….signed by our Prime Minister and sealed by a UK bureaucratic federalist with not one single elected British official having been involved in it.

That’s what none of us want, you mealy-mouthed bunch of mobsters. Or to be exact, 3 constituencies out of 650 want it, 93% of those polled don’t want it (including Remainers) and even 78% and then 63% of even our lily-livered legislators don’t want it.

So you are now the ones with some homework to do, oh engorged-ego onanists. We don’t want your deal. We think it sucks. Even the Americans think it sucks. A majority of Italians think it sucks. It is a diktat capitulative nightmare served up by a triumphalist Reich with nothing in the way of any triumphs to talk about right now.

You and you alone have forced us into a corner where leaving on No Deal WTO terms is the one and only legal option open to us. However, the realists among us understand that ‘legal’ is an alien concept to those who share the ethics of South Side Chicago gangsters……..and the clique in Westminster that would rather stay in your moronic, Zombie-undead grip.

Their solution is to rush through laws that reverse the Article 50 law setting March 29th in stone, and beg your majesties for an extension. They know that’s constitutionally offside, but they don’t care – and your Trade Commissioner said simply “We will stop the clock, this is all very straightforward”. Or, put another way, we don’t give a monkey’s chuff what your Laws say, because we do things our way, and your job is to obey.

Third, you now say that on Thursday Theresa May must pitch up to the Summit with a course of action. But thanks to another of your agents in the UK – our Glorious Speaker John Bercow – she will be turning up with no option but to ask for a vague ‘could be six months, could be two years’ limbo lalahland.

Which is, of course, exactly what you want. Well, along with a billion quid a day for the privilege, an increase in the divorce bill, a second referendum, and no doubt the killing of every British firstborn in order to make room for more migrants created by your open-borders lunacy.

A Second Referendum, all the polls show, would be highly unlikely to produce a different result to the first one – which said Leave, but of course that was just another mistake made by ignorant, racist, older dementia-suffering cretins who’d been badly educated. By, um, arch EUnatic Tony Blair, as it happens.

So there you have it, my Sprout friends: we have indeed told you what we don’t want. We don’t want you or your Hitlerist Vassal treaty of Compiègne. We don’t want your rules and stitch-ups, and trade deficits and bullying of smaller nations and unaccountable ECB run by Mario Draghi, or your Mickey-Mouse euro, undemocratic Brussels clique, debt-exposed banks, lying statistics, screaming Heads of Brexit unconvicted carpetbaggers, bailout deals to save banks, agricultural protectionism, fishing grabs, hard Irish borders, bans on English meat, piss-taking divorce bills, Soros-inspired EU-love drivel, former Stasi Youth leaders, banker-rolled French President neolib pervs and unelected European “Presidents” who keep falling over due to Tia Maria injections to severe back injuries.

You say “take it or leave”. We, the British majority, say “Shove it”.

But sour grapes, arrogant MPs and a Whitehall coup d’état have ensured that we won’t be able to fulfill that clearly expressed wish.

So you will drag us back into your fold – assuming you bully Italy into withdrawing its veto of Brextension – and then beat us to death with a baseball bat.

But within an absolute maximum of three years, there will be a General Election in the United Kingdom. And we The People are going to wipe your tame whores off the the surface of British politics forever. We are going to unseat, deselect, harrass, investigate and otherwise punish all the monied collaborators. And if our Italian allies haven’t done for you by then, the Government that comes to power most certainly will.

With as much sincerity and ill will as we can muster,

Britpeeps2