me11117(2) As I write, raindrops are falling on my head. I have Polish workmanship to thank for this, alongside the selling techniques of Velux, which insisted that even my shallow roof elevation would still allow for waterproof enjoyment of light. I actually couldn’t give a monkeys: I am in a warm house in the middle of winter – and out there in France right now, hundreds of thousands of people aren’t.

In 2012, 141,500 people were homeless in France. That was a tragic 50% increase on the 2001 figure. The number is still rising, although I am unable to find any reliable stats to quantify the trend. Such is the nature of the “21st Century Plague” of amoral mendacity so eloquently described by blogger MarkGB in his latest offering.

I could become a mindless Quant and point out that this rate of homelessness represents a mere 0.2% of the population. But then, that’s a 50% increase in 11 years. Extrapolate that forward in a compound manner, and almost 1 in 8 French citizens will be homeless by 2076.

The likelihood of that is (I would suggest) remote; but then, unless something big happens to change the trend, that will be the outcome. Zero comprehension of the consequences of actions – or inaction – is what separates our “leaders” from those of earlier generations. In the context of of current migration into the EU, the separation is even more stark: that is to say, the one between reality and insanity.

But then, I can’t do much to change their ways. So perhaps it is better to return to an insatiable desire to make the poor buggers subject to their idiotic rule laugh.


megaphonegag

After nearly 76 years of shouting into a wicker tube, 91 year old Karl Adam Friedman-Marksmith has finally admitted that he suspects there is nobody home.

“It has been my lifetime’s endeavour,” he told the Allgemeiner Schicklegruber Wirtschaft, “to communicate with the legendary Wickervolk who alone hold the key to the future of Man’s economic development. My theory now is that they have trickled down something or other, or perhaps withered away”.


Tom Daley has announced that he is going to have a child with husband Dustin Lance Black.

Of course, he isn’t going to do that, because such a thing between men is physically and scientifically impossible. A surrogate will be involved, which means that the child will be related to one of them, but not the other.

That could make for some bitter Courtroom appearances further down the line.


“It’s diabolical in terdayz multculch sighety” alleged River Phonepix, after being denied access to a seat on the SpaceX Tesla launch of an electric car into outer space – a project devoid of any electrical power whatsoever being involved in the vehicle’s escape from the Earth’s atmosphere. “This represents blatant Yobist bigotry on the part of a bourgeois élite determined to stop underclass victims eg me from going into the final frontier, an’ that is why I shall be votin’ for Mr Corbyn next time”.

Following this sensational intervention by Mr Phonepix, furious hackneyed MP Diane Grabbitt blasted the SpaceX selection process as classist, ageist, sexist, nationalist, antagonist, abortionist, arsonist, cardiologist, existentialist, evangelist and saxophonist.

SpaceX dismissed the claims as fantasist.


Today is Valentine’s Day.

St Valentine was a Roman priest who lived in the third century and is thought to have died around 270 AD. The Roman Emperor Claudius II had banned marriages as he thought single men made better soldiers. However, St Valentine took it upon himself to arrange and perform marriages in secret so couples could still celebrate their love. Claudius found out about this, and executed him.

That’s it.