megoa5 The onward march of the professional wronged and offended cadres continues, the tramp tramp tramp of their tippy-toed marching occupying an inordinate amount of noise in the already cacophonic media space. Whatever you do, stay aware of all those Kevin Spaceys, Prince Philips, Louis CKs and other paedo-sicko-rapists lurking around the corner. (Pssst but whatever you do, don’t mention those Islamic men and defenceless Calais children….I did a couple of times, but I think I got away with it). 


It’s Monday morning, and thus time for another hard-grinding week off exposing ourselves to Helen Mirren. In an interview recently, Tough Crumpet Helen (38-40-56) said that men expose themselves to her at least once a week….or rather, they used to forty years ago. That’s the thing with male sex abuse and inappropriate willy-waving: it always happened forty years ago.

I apologise if I got the gist of the story wrong; I saw the headline, laughed out loud and then waded through endless columns of other whingeing celebettes, gays and transexuals demanding tough new laws to deal with straights refusing to treat them like haemophiliac royalty. I was in search of some real news, but all I found was a lot of nubile women parading themselves on various beaches and ski slopes wearing a handkerchief where their knickers should be, and not much else.

More double standards, more victimememememe, more narcissi draped over a bald producer on the red carpet one week, and then accusing him of “forced consensual abuse” the next. And as with all forms of mental disorder from Hitler to Hillary, the more you say “Oh alright then” the more they want the next thing on the list.

I want to be allowed to marry. OK. I want to be allowed to marry in a church. OK. I want to be blessed by the Pope in Westminster Abbey. Whatever.

I want to be recognised as transgender. OK. I want to be recognised as a third gender. OK. I want my own toilets. If you insist. I want to go into any toilet I care to. What are you, a tranny or a 300lb gorilla? No, you must believe that I am a third gender. Ibble dibble dabble duddle doo.

I lost the election because Trump cheated. So did you. I won the popular vote. But you lost the College vote, and that’s the one that matters. I lost the election because of the glass ceiling. Or perhaps because over eight years, Obama did naffall, so the black vote stayed at home. I lost the election but The New York Times called me 99.3% certain to win so it must have been rigged. No, it’s just that the Times is a delusional newspaper.

We didn’t win the Brexit referendum because a lot of poorly educated people voted to leave. Well, they’re the ones you’re supposed to be helping. They didn’t vote Remain because the Brextremists lied. So did you. We lost because a lot of bigoted racist Little Englanders voted Leave. Uh-huh. We didn’t win because the electorate made a mistake…..we need a re-run. Now I see what you like about the way the European Union works.

We are the religion of Peace. Excellent. But you started it. Started What? We’d like a mosque. Of course – here’s a plot of land. It’s in the wrong place. OK, here’s an old bingo hall you can convert. It’s facing the wrong way. OK, here’s an old sports ground. We want the main tower to be 100 feet high. Sorry, that’s against the planning laws. This is racism. No, it’s the planning laws. We want to pimp small girls because the K’ran says we can. OK, we’ll turn a blind eye. And we want our own schools and university buildings. We’re a bit short of cash right…. And Sharia Law. Informally, OK if you like. No, we want it for everyone. And immunity from criticism. And clerics ordaining violence. And approval for Jihad. Um, we’ll get back to you….have you tried Frau Doktor Merkel? She’s usually quite amenable on such matters. And if you move there, you can stay in the European Union with all those lovely open borders. We like it here. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrg.

The Rhineland, Austria, the Sudetenland, Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, Russia….
Is this a facile parallel? Only if you think the fundamental nature of military-politico-ideological élite humans is likely to change any time soon….or of course, the sense of privileged entitlement they engender in the lower order.

Talking of which, I am in receipt of a complaint dating from years ago.

This is a recent excerpt of continuing email threats from a chap called Hancock, a bloke I banned from The Slog who is so skilled in matters legal he doesn’t know the difference between slander and libel:

hancock1

I answered it thus:

hancock2

Predictably, this evoked further demands, to which I have made a last and final reply:

hancock3
I trust this makes my position clear. I now await – in fear, trepidation and a stream of diahrorrea – a letter from Messrs Chase, Ambu & Lance, Solicitors & Decorators, East Cheam.

I am in receipt of a complaint dating from years ago.

This is a recent excerpt of continuing email threats from a clown called Matt Hancock, a bloke I banned from The Slog who is so skilled in matters legal he doesn’t know the difference between slander and libel:

hancock1

I answered it thus:

hancock2

Predictably, this evoked further demands, to which I have made a last and final reply:

hancock3
I trust this makes my position clear.