mesmile Today has been somewhat chaotic, as there was much running about prior to my taking a little family R&R involving travel. So this ATEOTD is likely to be random, veering from the tasteless via the tactless to the hysterical. It is, as Great Aunt Lizzie used to say, a pot pourri.

First up is this delightful tweet I received from #HopenotHate enthusiast Billy Bragg, who – like most of his ilk – reserves the right to hate hateful people like me, and thus cancel out the hate:


I get the feeling that Billy might a flying picket short of be a miners’ gala these days, but either way I’m thrilled to be on a real celeb’s radar. But talking of galas, did you know that one anagram of Nigel Farage is Gin-Free Gala? I bring this to your attention as something as unlikely as it is amusing. There is no political point being made here at all. The value of your investment can only go down. Regulated by the Financial Servicing your bum and Serving our Friends Authority, Treasurer Mr P. Hamaneggs.

Fears of a ‘massive’ global property price fall amid ‘dangerous’ conditions and market slow-down have been running rampant through the largely deserted offices of the Daily Telegraph today, following a daring escape from his attic prison by the Mark IV Ambrose Evans-Pritchard clone.

The paper’s owners Ronnie and Reggie Barking rushed to reassure advertisers that AEPM4 would be returned to captivity just as soon as a suitably enormous cheque was received from either the CBI or HSBC, whichever might be the larger.

Daily Mail Pointless Glitter moron at large M. Raingropes has been thrown into a panic by the death of every A-list celebrity during 2016 the amazing year when the entirely predictable anti-élite backlash took every libtard on the planet by surprise it being so completely unexpected.

Sobbing into a copy of his recent memoir Please don’t send me to jail Macca, Raingropes told Slog gossip columnist Tel Gosh, “How fucking dare they all die and leave me penniless like this, that’s the trouble with celebs it’s all mememememememe, I mean you hack their phones to make them famous and all they can do is bleat on about privacy invasion God it make me sick”.

Do you ever feel the desire to take a Romping Arse and throw him off Morgan’s Pier? Talk in confidence to one of our undercover co-respondents on 0191 666 4321, knock three times and ask for Katie.

Final, irrefutable truth that Trump’s America is now a country fit only for Neolithic club-wielding rapist male swine emerged today with this report from the Independent:


What kind of mad, sexist, vicious, scum, populist, regressive, misogynist dictatorship would force female hairdressers to work against their suffering sisters in order to support an unsustainable male Nazi régime that is only in power thanks to an electoral college full of spineless sycophants clinging on to a totally outdated voting system invented before the French Revolution when only men could vote thus clamping the glass steagal ceiling down on poor Hillary who worked so hard for don’t you dare come near me with that needle again you naaaaa……oooh…..erm.

Look, I did warn you before you started reading.