mesnip30716 Something of a stream of consciousness tonight on the related subjects of Erdogan’s guilt, guilty innocents abroad, and the headstones of those who led a life of unconscious innocence.

I realised today while on Twitter (the way you do if you’re a tad bananas) that an anagram of Erdogan is A Nerdog. As I’ve been revisiting the wonderful harmonies of the Everly Brothers of late, and so this song lyric sprung into my overcrowded and disordered mind:

Erdo sings a lovesong/he’s a Nerd/ the sweetest NATO lovesong/Yah evva heard

He’s messin’ round with my life/what a dog/ he’s tired of having one wife/what a hog

Erdogan’s a Nerd but he’s really just a turd/ He’s A Nerdog


A stoopid Nerdog


They don’t write them like that any more. For a start, there’s no ‘muddafukka’ word in there.

It’s a rum sort of word is ‘innocent’.

“We the jury find the defendant innocent” is – if the man in the dock is Rolf Harris – a cause for celebration. But if the defendant is Rebekah Brooks, it’s a good reason  to think about wrists and razor blades.

But then, to be innocent in other senses (not even including Rebekah Redtop) is to be very guilty. For innocent can mean naïve – and the guilt here is not to have learned from experiences in life. A vast majority within the British Left, for example, is guilty of being innocent.

Then there is that “an innocent abroad” expression. It really is a Little Englander thing, in that the assumption is, on crossing the Channel, one comes face to face with thieves, knaves, perverts, gangsters and mafiosi for the first time. I have to say, that’s far from having been my experience: but going the other way, it is entirely credible to arrive in Dover and become convinced within hours that the entire United Kingdom has a drink problem.

Other phrases offer another viewpoint: “out of the mouths of babes and innocents” tries to suggest that to be an infant is your last chance to say something insightful before contemporary pc socialisation knocks the Truth out of you. I once asked my elder daughter (aged four) what a drawing she’d done was about. “I’ll tell you when I’ve finished,” she replied.

Perhaps one conclusion to reach is that we are all innocent until proven guilty. The best reason for reaching that conclusion is that The Sun thinks it’s the other way round. Which is ironic really, because within seconds of him taking over The Times in 1981, I knew Turdoch would f**k it up: but then, that was because I’d had twelve years to observe what he did with NotW group.

It’s all very confusing: out of the mouths of my own two babies, I can remember little beyond vomit and the word “No” as another slice of foie gras hit the kitchen floor. Jeremy Corbyn is depicted by some as an innocent because of his ideas, while being at the same time vilified by the same people as an enfant térrible because of his ideas.

So maybe the bottom line is that those guilty of betraying ideals are innocently guilty of depicting those with rigid ideologies as guilty innocents. Discuss.

Spike Milligan’s headstone says, “I told you I was ill”. Mine is going to say “It’s all bollocks and that’s Official”. But what, I wonder – with little better to do tonight – will all those Remaindeer tombstones offer in thirty years time as the summation of a life? Here are some suggestions:

I am only 52% dead

Here lies a Leftwinger killed by Brexit lies

He that believeth in the euro, though he were dead yet shall he live

My Labour is now done

Remembered with Love – Geli Merkel, J-C Juncker, Wolfgang Schäuble, Jeroan Dijesslbloem, Mario Draghi & other Freedom Fighters

Before I die, it would be wonderful to view an Order Paper for the day’s Commons business at Westminster that included this:

4 pm. “This House has no confidence in the competence of the Government, and no competence to judge the the confidence of Citizens beyond this House in the competence of  the Members within this House”.

A post expanding on that theme is linked below.

Earlier at The Slog: A lack of confidence in competence