Some despicable but hard to hit targets are in view today. Rupert Murdoch, poverty, Owen Smith, EU good works, José Manuel Durão Barroso and Rothschild Bank are all there. Others quite clearly not all there also get a good bashing along the way.
Although I suppose you could say this regular feature has a somewhat vulgar title, it’s really only meant to be a play on Chattering Classes. The fact that the twattering I highlight tends to be tweeted by twats helps of course, but the jeu de mot is the thing. However, in this opener tonight I’m making an exception, because it involves Rupert Murdoch…a man for whom the word twat is a deliciously acrimonious and accurate acronym: Thoroughly Whiffy Antipodean Turd.
Ruptured Merdecock is a man who would rather the planet were blasted apart by an approaching asteroid than lose exclusive access to the story until it was too late. He is the pampered son of Aussie aristocrats: a pathological liar who claims to hate ‘Toffs’, but is as fine an example of that demented species as you’ll ever find.
But above all, Dial Murdoch for Murder is a man who has shared nothing with anyone throughout his entire worthless life except his ejaculate. And boy Roop, was that ever the wrong sharing thing to choose.
Not for Mudcroc the sharing of a thing of beauty: being the jerk who put the me into mean, he would rather this was the result of his tortured outlook on life:
Those of you who don’t “get” the beautiful game may find it hard to see teenage footballer Marcus Rashford as a Thing of Beauty, but the calm simplicity of his play is a once in a lifetime thing to behold. I’ve been watching strikers since Jimmy Greaves was the Brylcreem boy at Chelsea, and I am here to tell you that Rashford has all the makings of The Best Ever.
But because the French don’t want TWATman anywhere near their broadcast media – and how untypically wise that is of them – the above drippy apology is what I get down here in Lot et Garonne. It is the work of three clicks to see the goal elsewhere; but Roop the Dupe-Poop must be appeased. And rest assured – be it Thatcher, Blair, Cameron, May or Smith….he will be appeased.
Even if Old Ropetrick Turdcock’s severely twisted vision insists that the 97% must be given only enough credit to afford his dirty digger dishes, there are still well-meaning folks in society who think poverty is not the natural order of things for an allegedly intelligent species.
The Joseph Rowntree Foundation (JRF) is one of these, and there is still a large part of my Right cortex that admires their media skills and commitment.
I do of course understand that – under Überstürmbannführer Grayling’s Ministry of Injustice rules – JRF must tread very carefully if it is to stay within its charitable tax status. But even so, the tweet below – very typical of the Foundation’s output – strikes me as so detached from reality as to be harmful to any meaningful Call to Action:
The Americans would call the chart above a Criddical Path Analysis. This is what JRF is now offering as a vision, commitment and clear plan to make poverty history by 2030. “It won’t be easy” they insist, “but it is possible”.
Using that same fourth reality dimension, I’d say that it won’t be easy for me to make a soft landing on the fifth planet of Star 99661333/b/dwarf in Alpha Centauri by 3 pm this afternoon, but it is possible. All I have to do is master Einstein’s electromagnetic cloud and then sail on it to said planet instantaneously, because all separation is an illusion.
I am not trying to belittle JRF here. I am trying to skewer the heartless bastards who currently control the bureaucracy, politics, economic policies, fiscal sociopathy and social fukyoo practices that add up to life in these our septic isles of Cruel Britannia.
In that context, it is sad but horribly ridiculous for JRF to ignore the missing elements: a Government whoring for Corporate fascists, an Opposition desperate to kill off any real opposition to the Government, and a police/judicial/constitutional axis happy to look the other way….as often as not, towards Brussels.
The underlying suggestion in this sort of stuff is that patience and goodwill is enough to deliver the Children of Thatcher from bondage. No it isn’t. That’s not meant to be a call to the violence of the barricades: rather, it is an appeal to those fine old ideals of English democracy. Only when the Greedyguts have been removed from lobbying and their bumboys voted out will the JRF vision stand even the ghost of a chance.
And talking of an Opposition disabled by challenged opposingness, here is the latest cri de coeur from Blairite HQ:
I like it. No really, I do: it’s a zero-tolerance message remaining true to itself. All those not passionately for a Greek-pulping, all-lying, banker-loving, NATO-licking, Superstate-arming and economically flatlining European Union will not be welcome in the Owen Smith lobby. And if you don’t agree on account of your moronic educational ignorance, go vote for someone else, because I Owen Smith am true to my principles and do not want any of those unelectable Corbynite idiots interfering with my ability to collaborate sensibly with my fellow Europeans in the Conservative Party.
The somewhat dangling Freudian Slip in Owen’s tweet is that you do not need to be passionately pro Owen Smith for Leader.
That’s a shrewd move on the challenger’s part. To be passionate about Owen, you’d need to be passionate about things like milk bottles, door handles, pebble dash, brieze blocks, bull horn whisky glasses, tiddley-winks and cannibalism.
Mind you, how easy is it to be passionate about an EU that suggests former Maoist Commissioner José Manuel Durão Barroso taking a job with Goldman Sachs may warrant a sharpening of the EU Code of Conduct?
I mean, let’s be clear about this: after an early career of condemning the West to gleeful destruction at the hands of Communism – and then joining the Establishment to help Europe on to destruction at the hands of Fabian imperialism – what better end to one’s rainbow of employment experience than condemning those workers you encouraged to unite to poverty at the hands of those moving in mysteriously Godlike ways at Goldman Sachs?
That’s gotcha annit?
Perhaps this is why the much-maligned administration of Viktor Orban in Hungary continues to defy RightOn Western “liberalism”, and go its own way in firm defiance of US-inspired financial colonialism:
Please spare me the comment threads about anti-semitism. I am a fully paid-up member of the pro-Jewish lobby – up to but not including mad Zionism. In my book, that puts me in the same boat as 98% of Jews.
But as with globalist US banks, former Soviet banks and now Rothschilds, the Orban régime – overwhelmingly elected by democratic vote – continues to tell the bankers to stick it somewhere dark. In doing so, it is of the same mind as Iceland in rejecting the potty idea that we can’t exist without the banking cartel.
How bizarre it is that the British Left disapproves of Orban as a fascist…and yet, the West continues to grasp that he has a point to make of incalculable relevance.
The Slog 