The Twattering Classes

mesnip18716I’m delighted to note that this column is already turning into a Slog favourite on the same level as At the End of the Day. While I think their appeal is the same, each uses a different tactic: ATEOTD simply describes what is normal and natural, while TTC uses irony to illustrate nitwits drifting towards the abnormal and unnatural. But that’s probably just pretentious post-rationalisation. Truth is, both columns are usually a joy to write.


We open tonight with an ironic belter. Sunny Hundal is the man who recently observed, “Are we allowed to criticise or have a stance against a democratic decision, or not?” – to which the obvious answer is yes, just so long as (a) you don’t kill democracy by destroying HM Opposition in the process and (b) you don’t use anti-democratic methods to try and overturn that decision.

In Britain, the general rule is that the electorate decides, and then you give the decision at least five years to judge the right/wrong thing. Sunny’s approach is to work hard at overturning the electorate’s decision within 24 hours.

For those behind Owen Smith (eg, Sunny Hundal) the preferred approach to overturning is to find risible excuses for declaring opponents ineligible to vote….and blocking their viewpoint on Twitter. So I found this tweet from Pauline Lane deliciously apt:

twat12

The thing with Twitter is, once you’ve offended a pinched goblin, it’s like being Mr K in The Trial: the judge tells everyone else in the Court about the offence of which you’re accused, but you the Accused are not allowed to hear it.


From up to the minute we move down into the archives, with this Fraser Nelson tweet on Referendum Eve:

twat10

It’s a chart. It looks official, clever and authoritative. It says the Brexit camp is going to lose. It is wrong, by a factor of 75%. That’s not a margin of error, that’s a full bloody foolscap page of totally misleading information.

Here is a natural fact: the art of market research is discerning when someone is lying to the interviewer. The Establishment had so marginalised the Brexit voters, they were unwilling to admit to voting Leave in research. So busy were the Camerons and Campbells in marginalising, they created one of the greatest error margins in history.

Hahahahahahaha. That was me laughing in a thoroughly 52% and entirely reprehensible manner. For I am but an uneducated scumfascistbigotracist, and I don’t know how to behave.


I include this Bloomerberg thing as an example of execrable taste in exterior car colours, and truly ginormous silliness.

twat11

BMW is now being outsold by Mercedes, and it’s not hard to see why. Do you know anyone – or even anyone who knows anyone – keen to spend £750,000 on a car painted light bronze? If so, you are moving in the wrong circles, or need to see a fully qualified ophthalmologist about your challenged colour appreciation.

But more to the point, what is an autonomous car? A car is an automobile, so if it is also autonomous, this must mean that it drives itself.

Observe the car above: it has no back seats. There is room only for a driver (who won’t be driving) and a passenger (who won’t be feeling safe if the driver has nodded off).

Observe the styling: it has fast driving, gear changes and infantile driver fun written all over it. What kind of wanker wants to own a car where all that fun is taken off him?

It is indeed a concept. What has been conceptualised here is a car for somebody so full of muddled economic ideas and life dysfunction, he or she would have to be an African politician, or a hedge fund manager specialising in the trading of Japanese hogweed derivatives.


And finally, the last resort: going to Guardian columnist Michael White’s Twitter output in order to decide which one of his multiple ejaculations represents the best example of this pompous prig’s output of patronising Left fascism.

It was a tough choice – there was a veritable farrago of nastiness from which to choose – but in the end I settled on this one:

twat13

The trouble with White is that first, he likes to give out tablets of stone, but he simply isn’t in the same league as Moses – let alone God.He tells his unfortunate correspondent that he doesn’t get his point – but it’s nonsense. As a definition of the closed mind, that one would be hard to beat.

And second, he has all the engaging personality characteristics of a scorpion…with an emotional intelligence to match.

For me, he is the inability of the UK Left to work with others rendered incarnate. Red in tooth and claw, he constantly implores his detractors to think. But what he really wants them to do is think like him.

Which would be bad enough, if it were not for the fact that his thinking is impenetrable to anyone in search of clarity.


Earlier at The Slog: The Madness of Mother Theresa

 

22 thoughts on “The Twattering Classes

  1. Even a smattering of twattering can be quite shattering. Litterbugs were bad enough, now we’ve got twitterbugs leaving their rubbish all over the interweb: is this really progress? Egoism with knobs on, more like. Before you know it, they’ll be telling us that self-interest is the foundation of morality..

    Liked by 3 people

  2. John, watching the twatteratti on the idiot tube, I’m increasingly doubtful of the idea prevalent in Police and other interrogation techniques.
    Look Right = true,
    Look left = the little scrote’s lying. Hit ‘im up some more.

    Our current politically commissariat consisting of
    Tory Neolib
    Tory Right, Right
    Tory only slightly less Right
    Tory Lite-Labour Right

    Can all manage to utter the convenient lie with a convincing 360° swivel of the head worthy of The Exorcist.

    The very few PLP MPs who have the guts to stand up to the NEC are being rubbished in the MSM, even by the likes of
    J K Rowling.
    ‘Cos, when it’s all going mammaries skyward – solids towards the air conditioning; you know that you can trust the Labour Party to protect their vested interests.

    In the United States, the word is spelled LABOR.
    The Party in the UK operates on the same ideology.
    It works better without YOU.

    .

    Liked by 2 people

  3. @WAD

    I’m recovering from a tour of Holland/Germany/Belgium/France on a motorcycle/sidecar outfit with my two teens. My shoulders are practically as big as a politician’s ego ;)

    One thing’s fer sure, twattering is never flattering.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Re. the BMW.
    You missed the point entirely.
    The point of a car like that is to be seen in it.
    Or to arrive in it.
    It’s about drawing attention.
    Hence the colour.

    You can have a car that’s fun to drive for a lot less money.

    Says something about the owner but maybe not something good?

    Like

  5. maybe its because I don’t do twitter that reading it out of context, it makes so little sense. It seems to make little sense anyway considering the trouble people find themselves in, after making comments that offend whoever. And what is all this # crap? Jeez,childish or what?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I don’t have a Twitter account so perhaps JW will kindly allow me this psuedo tweet…

    from today’s DT Headline: “Pension deficits up £100bn in month since rate cut” – by my calculation a not unreasonable 2% rise in bank rate would put all schemes into surplus (0.25%x8x £100 billion)…….

    Liked by 2 people

  7. The Slog is, if nothing else, an attempt at setting the record straight.

    This from Russia Today, whilst slightly off topic, speaks of how the West views Putin, in which it says:

    “To add insult to injury, the Kremlin was helmed by a chronic alcoholic who was enthusiastically supported by the US and the 1996 election was effectively stolen in order to prevent the Communists from winning, while the west failed to bat so much as an eyelid. As a result, democracy is often a dirty word in Russia and the term “liberal” has been merged with a swear word “pederast” (pedophile) to create a new insult known as “liberast.””

    It needs making clear that this is a response to Western democracy, America style. Where money buys everything and votes count for little. Is it any wonder that Russians view such democratic ideals as being the modern equivalent of the National Socialist government of 1930s Germany??

    https://www.rt.com/op-edge/357622-is-putin-new-stalin/

    As a side note, it mentions that Russia’s military spending is 9% of Americas. What is forgotten here is that Russia doesn’t buy its equipment at over-inflated prices from greedy corporations. The phrase “more bang for your buck” has never been more appopriate.

    Like

  8. I was reading AEP’s latest on Apple Corporation. Well, if it was AEP writing this, and not someone else just using his moniker…

    The fine Apple has been handed is 13bn Euros. That is to say, $16bn. A figure remarkably similar to the VW ‘scandal’*

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2016/08/31/apple-travesty-is-a-reminder-why-britain-must-leave-the-lawless/

    (*That is now quickly unwinding now that the media onslaught is losing ground, what with media articles about other car manufacturers who evaded the regulatory standards).

    Like

  9. @Gemma

    All the antagonism of the US against Russia, for a century now the elites of the US have wanted all the resources that Russia has and they ain’t paying for them. The arming of Hitler was one such ploy (they lent most of the money to arm Gerrmany otherwise Gemany could not afford it) to smash Russia but they lost control of their puppet like Saddam Hussein and Gaddafi.

    If you look at the current state now I do not give it long before the USA attacks Russia using NATO with some false flag narrative.

    Clinton is either going to be known for one of two things …
    1.) Starting WW3 and sucking europe via NATO into a large war once again.
    2.) The most corrupt president in history making Nixon look like a saint.

    Being the 1st woman president is going to set a fine example for the next one …

    If you dug down deep enough I bet you find the US have been the agent provcateurs in all major wars in the last century or longer driven by greed and a corporatocracy that for profits drops the social democratic angle. US has no social democracy and it is being realised, means you can die because life has no meaning for that form of governance.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Gemma. Your defence of the incredibly smug and sanctimonious VW is rather curious.

    Here was a company that was deliberately deceiving the rules set in place to try and create a healthier environment for us to live. In the interests of profit it was quite happy to fill mine and every other persons lungs and body with nasty carcinogenic particles and fumes in order to maintain its profits. Regardless of who else was/is up to the same practice it was VW who was caught and they should suffer the penalty and consequences.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Mr Ward

    Fraser Nelson’s quotation of the bookies’ odds for Brexit was discombobulated long ago as being the difference between a smallish number of people betting big on the remain side and lots of people betting small on the leave side.

    Betfair is an exchange where the odds quoted are often far, far away from true odds. That of course affords those with insight huge opportunities to make money.

    What shouldn’t be done is to correlate bookies’ odds with actual reality. The two don’t correlate because Brexit was a ‘one man, one vote’ scenario whereas Betfair is ‘you can bet however much you want’.

    If Betfair had set up a Brexit market where each account could only bet £10, not more and not less, it would have displayed odds closer to reality.

    It wouldn’t have made so much money in commissions though……

    Liked by 1 person

  12. What he is trying to say is that 75% of the money was on Remain
    whilst 75% of the actual bets were on Leave

    It hinges on whether yoy believe that a person who bets £10 on a horse knows twice as much as somebody who bets £5 in the same race.

    It verifies what Francis Galton demonstrated over a century ago at Plymouth Fair ( I believe)

    Like

  13. Mark Deacon

    “If you look at the current state now I do not give it long before the USA attacks Russia using NATO with some false flag narrative.”

    My take was explained on my post “Russia Wants War” – my point being that it’s not so much America wanting to attack Russia, but that America cannot back down once they have established an army along the borders of Russia. The problem for America is that whilst its arms spending is enormous, they’re paying 10-15x over the odds for equipment that is demonstrably weaker than the Russian equivalent.

    Try telling this to the Americans, who only want to hear something positive about their abilities…

    … well, that’s part of the problem, isn’t it?

    You go on to say “If you dug down deep enough I bet you find the US have been the agent provcateurs in all major wars in the last century or longer” That, or Britain itself. It was Britain’s fear of their GDP figures being overtaken by Germany in the 1890s that led Britain to think of war [there are those who having researched this deeply, came across the British idea for the First World War in 1895…] The point here being that a war would upset German economic growth, which was predicted to outstrip Britain’s by 1914.

    It is well known by those who, like DigbyDog source their ideas from what they see and read in the Mainstream Media that sanctimonious Germany is a warmonger and started both World Wars. After all, in the three centuries up to 1900, Germany had thirty wars.

    Those of you gifted with a little more insight might realize who was actually behind this kind of spin. Because whilst this is true – as most spin is – the facts are that in the same time, Britain had well over four hundred wars.

    DigbyDog tell me why VW was singled out by the US for a fine? Why not their own car manufacturers who were using the same technology and the same software. I know this hasn’t been spoken of in the mainstream media, but then, they aren’t exactly impartial, are they?

    Like

  14. @digbydog

    Here is a plastic bag for you to scoop up that reply of yours for @Gemma.
    Stop eating that MSM crap, regurgitated political propaganda.
    Things should soon improve at your rear end and your head will become clearer.

    Like

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