British crossdresser Norman Buzzard speaks
You go to the dentist’s these days and they won’t take your tooth out until you’ve had two day’s worth of bloody antibiotics when I was young you turned up they yanked it out and they told you to rinse in salt water no wonder every bacillus on Earth is mutating like billy-o we should’ve stuck to using antiseptic and bleach I bet if you sprayed that avian 309 wotsit with dettol we could wipe out AIDS in a week I was talking to a friend only tonight and she said sometimes the problems in this world are so complicated you don’t know where to start so just have a glass of Rosé what about that Deutsche Bank I mean the chief economist there says they need a bailout when we were kids that was what pilots did when the flak over Hamburg got them there’s just so much going wrong did you see England against Iceland that Hodgson I wouldn’t pay him in whatever Deutsche’s shares are gonna be worth when the balloon goes up what we need is someone like Simon Cowell to start up a talent programme for young footballers I like Simon he’s got a lovely smile he should stand for Parliament did you see that bloody Leadshot woman on the telly God she’s awful and then she said those nasty things about Mrs May not having children I mean what a bitch do you think she’s related to Peter May he was a good cricketer you know before they had logos plastered all over their arses and started playing with yellow balls my eldest Fabian he likes cricket the other day he went up the West End to protest about the Referendum result because 48% is a lot it’s not right you know all those people without jobs now they won’t be able to go and work in those foreign places they don’t get the opportunities we had any more he’s a good boy Fabian he does his bit like that Farage bloke but then poor Jo Cox maybe Nigel should’ve put a sock in it still if you can’t have your say what’s left just look at Donald Trump he’s made sixty billion dollars telling Yanks they can have their Christmas back so he’s obviously very clever but there’s something about that Mrs Clinton she’s got the experience and her husband was President once so he can help her out with that Rasputin bloke I don’t think anyone knows what to do with him he’s got dolphins and weapons we’ve never heard of and even cyber thingies my Dad liked a drop of cider nearly missed his posting once from drinking that scrumpy they thought they were going to Normandy wound up in Kenya now they can’t be bothered to sing the anthem mind you it was nice to see those footballers tonight, they all knew the words our lot never do but I wonder sometimes I mean the Royals they do cost a lot but then Queen Mandelson it wouldn’t be the same would it still we’ve always got Wimbledon and it was nice to see Murray win mind you he’s not English really is he his wife’s pretty tell me why do they say Black lives matter of course they matter but that’s America and what on Earth is Canada doing near the Russian border they could practically walk across from the other side I don’t understand any of it any more
The Slog 