At the End of the Day

British crossdresser Norman Buzzard speaks

You go to the dentist’s these days and they won’t take your tooth out until you’ve had two day’s worth of bloody antibiotics when I was young you turned up they yanked it out and they told you to rinse in salt water no wonder every bacillus on Earth is mutating like billy-o we should’ve stuck to using antiseptic and bleach I bet if you sprayed that avian 309 wotsit with dettol we could wipe out AIDS in a week I was talking to a friend only tonight and she said sometimes the problems in this world are so complicated you don’t know where to start so just have a glass of Rosé what about that Deutsche Bank I mean the chief economist there says they need a bailout when we were kids that was what pilots did when the flak over Hamburg got them there’s just so much going wrong did you see England against Iceland that Hodgson I wouldn’t pay him in whatever Deutsche’s shares are gonna be worth when the balloon goes up what we need is someone like Simon Cowell to start up a talent programme for young footballers I like Simon he’s got a lovely smile he should stand for Parliament did you see that bloody Leadshot woman on the telly God she’s awful and then she said those nasty things about Mrs May not having children I mean what a bitch do you think she’s related to Peter May he was a good cricketer you know before they had logos plastered all over their arses and started playing with yellow balls my eldest Fabian he likes cricket the other day he went up the West End to protest about the Referendum result because 48% is a lot it’s not right you know all those people without jobs now they won’t be able to go and work in those foreign places they don’t get the opportunities we had any more he’s a good boy Fabian he does his bit like that Farage bloke but then poor Jo Cox maybe Nigel should’ve put a sock in it still if you can’t have your say what’s left just look at Donald Trump he’s made sixty billion dollars telling Yanks they can have their Christmas back so he’s obviously very clever but there’s something about that Mrs Clinton she’s got the experience and her husband was President once so he can help her out with that Rasputin bloke I don’t think anyone knows what to do with him he’s got dolphins and weapons we’ve never heard of and even cyber thingies my Dad liked a drop of cider nearly missed his posting once from drinking that scrumpy they thought they were going to Normandy wound up in Kenya now they can’t be bothered to sing the anthem mind you it was nice to see those footballers tonight, they all knew the words our lot never do but I wonder sometimes I mean the Royals they do cost a lot but then Queen Mandelson it wouldn’t be the same would it still we’ve always got Wimbledon and it was nice to see Murray win mind you he’s not English really is he his wife’s pretty tell me why do they say Black lives matter of course they matter but that’s America and what on Earth is Canada doing near the Russian border they could practically walk across from the other side I don’t understand any of it any more


 

12 thoughts on “At the End of the Day

  1. Good Grief John, you sounded uncannily similar to the feminine half of our nextdoorneighbour. Her ability to speak, at length and upon any subject, without once veering anywhere near a full stop or a comma has to be witnessed to be believed. No wonder the masculine half of that relationship shares the haunted look of a sheep mistakenly accused of eating grass to which he has no title.

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  2. Is that a hint … no point in talking to the opposition if they just drone words over and over. Liked the Trump returning Xmas if you didn’t listen to politicians you never lost it to begin with.

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  3. Stream of consciousness – Molly Bloom at her best! If it wasn’t 7am Monday morning…. no not going down that route but that Leadsom woman I’d give her one though I wouldn’t touch Cameron with yours etc. etc. Brilliant writing John.

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  4. Now that Mrs May, she’s been reedin’ yer blogs like. She’s like sayin’ this mornin’ that all those fings wot I rote like 4 days ago are official Mrs May policy and whatnot. Maybe she should give me a job in the servants’ quarters like, seeing as how I’m not an MP and the journalists would say like I’m a perverted poof because I”m not married with kids by 50 and they can’t find no outed poofs to say they did the dirty on me on Clapham Common or wherever it is that perverted poofs get their wibbledy wands out like. And you can’t have a brain and be an MP, otherwise you might say like Mr Murdoch ain’t no UK subject, avoids UK tax like the plague, so why the bleedin’ heck is he telling our Prime Minister wot to do n all?? I”d better be like that Special Advisor whatsitcalled – yer know, I”ve actually worked in the real world for 20 years, so that makes me real special in Downing Street and I actually give advice rather than scheme to get a higher paid job in 5 years. As long as they put me in a room where there aren’t any horny 25 – 35 year old girls and I don’t have to talk to that horny journalist Isabel Hardman, now ‘er I could like give one too, not that she’d let me n all. But you’ve gotta be a randy pervert to work in Government, aincha? So keep me locked away from all the horny wimmin and my advice will be truly special n all.

    Oh and that Mrs Leadsom: she can be my special advisor about healing my ‘wounded child’ and all that. She knows about stuff like that and I could do wiv a bit of that. I’ll give her some hot-to-trot technology companies to invest in as a quid pro quo. Assuming she wants to ever diversify her BTL portfolio post-Brexit…..

    I’ll be that like ‘worker on the Board of the Cabinet plc’, the ‘elector holding the Ministers to account’ like. i”ll ‘ave n exclusive column in all da papers every week, telling yer Joes and Janices wots going’ on like. I’ll only ask £100k a year for each. Cheap at the price, that.

    Don’t care who’s PM, me. As long as my gissa job plea is heeded no matter who wins……

    Selfish bastard, aren’t I?

    Must’ve learned it from those media millionaires like Morgan, Clarkson, Campbell etc etc……..

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  5. Leadbanger s resigned wottabloody spineless quitter she was obviously so far up her own cv she could nt take the first salvoes of ak ak fkak when she said Maggie ReMAYniac was barren and so now she s thrown in the towel too much mumsnet and not enough maggie from Leadbanger to Quitter in a weekend is any of the political class still in situ? from farage on the right to the shadow cabinet on the keft they re all quitters i tell yah wot the only person not quitting is our Jezza man if steel he is if they all had half his backbone we d still have an opposition worth the name not to mention a functioning government but getting back to leadshun wot a Trojan horse she got govey to get boris out the way then beat govey and has now acquiesced to maggie may for probably the chancellorship all in it together these hoes ‘n bitches they want to rule the world and that s a fact clinton in usa merkel in germanu mayniac in uk leoen in france and all those fenake scandinsvian prime ministers in their scandi noir soap operas i dont know what the worlds coming to anyway leadpshun gave the game away when she said i am first of all a mother that s no way to talk if you re punting for PM!! its a 36 hour a day job you don t put your family first you re bloody ceo of the freakin contry!!! anyway must rush time for my punctuation and spelling A level

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  6. If you sense I am a lot out of breath with exsitement in this post you are correct. Only yesterday my new Leisure Centre was delivered to Sloggers Roost. Her names molly. That is a black faced ewe whats tied to the lampost on the lawn.

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