At the End of the Day

 The secret life of a dangerous radical

I think this is one of those days when I should alert the media as to what I’ve been getting up to. You can keep your 90th birthday garden parties and all the rest of it: my Sunday just now fading away has been supercharged, ironic and full of intrigue from start to finish.

It started with me going out to the restored pigsty and checking my cement works from yesterday had gone off, as we cutting-edge construction types tend to say. I know that sounds like I might be leaving the pigsty as a complete reconstruction of how it was in 1790, but in fact it’s going to be a woodstore on one side and barbecue/inclement weather centre on the other.

It would’ve been quite nice to keep it as a historical artefact, but I doubt if there’s much call for visiting a pigsty from the Robespierre/Danton terror period. I certainly woudn’t pay to see a few pigs grunting while an old peasant downtrodden by the aristocrats shoveled slop into the trough: you can see that any day of the week when David Cameron visits a steelworks. Or not, depending on where it is.

I degress: the cement was looking suitably solid, so I returned to the bedroom and decided the sheets needed changing. The deciding factor was actually the pillow-cases, whose head-depressions looked as if they might be permanent – and were brown rather than grey and cream, which was how they started out. So the bedclothes went in the washing machine, and meanwhile I put new sheets on the bed. This is a real page-turner, innit?

Pulling off the dirty sheets left an interesting film of skin, hair and grass all over the floor, so I decided to vacuum the room while I was, you know, there as it were. But when I got the Bosch out, it was full. So I went outside and covered myself in fine grey powder mixed with fluff. I didn’t set out to do that, but it’s a bagless Bosch, and as you know bagless vacuum cleaners are a giant leap forward from those ghastly old bags that had to be put in the bin, but didn’t cover you in fluffy grey powder as such.

It’s over three years since I had dogs here, but those dog hairs just keep on coming out of the carpet. It’s almost as if the carpet (which is in all truth getting on a bit) has gone like an old bloke who starts sprouting hair from noses and ears. Imagine suddenly finding that your carpet is doubly incontinent. No wonder people throw them out. Carpets I mean, not old blokes.

So I go to put the Bosch back in its cupboard, along with all the brushes, pans, mops and mains board, but everything falls out. Well, everything except the mains board. So clearly, the hide-shit cupboard needs an interior rethink, and I get onto it. The air is full of blue words and grey plaster powder as I head along the corridor to the bathroom. (I’m actually larging it a bit in referring to ‘the corridor’, as the corridor is under three yards long – and represents the space left between the fire and the bijou 3-piece Polish retro Art Deco suite which is right next to (and in the same room as) the galley kitchen and the bathroom)

While I was washing my hands and muttering under my breath about crappy French rawlplugs, I sort of idly looked around the bathroom and thought, hmm – the way you do – this could do with a bit of a scrub-up.

The bathroom looks much better now. And so it bloody should. But emptying bedroom, bathroom and corridor litter bins produces a lot of litter. I mean, the clue’s in the adjective. Then I thought of all that parquet floor packaging in the old pigsty. Hmm I thought, that needs burning. And there’s all those branches that came down in the last storm, one of which buggered up my car windscreen: they need burning too. Hmm, I thought, I really must do something about the cracked windscreen.

Do you think the likes of Lenin, Kubla Khan, Rousseau, Marco Polo, Sartre, Hobbes, Bentham, Wittgenstein, Descartes and Nye Bevan did this kind of stuff on a Sunday? Who, we ask ourselves, washed Stalin’s underwear as he was busy organising the downfall of the Romanovs and agitating for the dictatorship of the proletariat?

The thing with real philosophers was, they didn’t do ‘Hmm’ when it came to bathrooms and bins full of rubbish. There was no, “I mop the floor, therefore I am”. I don’t recall reading that Bentham suggested the secret of a stable society might be “the greatest emptiness of the greater majority of litter bins”. Bevan never said, “The purpose of bedsheets is to stick them in the wash”.

Possessions are the creators of passive acceptance, chiefly because if you spend all day for weeks on end writing about why the status quo needs blowing up, a mountain of unwashed pots will drive you from the home….and others who might wash the pots will be repelled by your body odour.


Not that you particularly wanted to know, but in between the showers the sheets did eventually dry, and the litter plus assorted bits of kitchen waste were burnt in the garden pit. Even more exciting, a cheese and ham toastie with tomatoes on the side was consumed, and I did watch a bit of telly.

The SmartTV was pretuned to BBCNews, and the first words I heard in relation to the Queen’s 90th birthday were, “Oh yes, she’s a grand old English cow”.

My God (I thought) the Anarchist Underground sect in the BBC has finally managed to get something seditious on air. But it turned out to be an interview with a dairy herd manager who’s been enjoying the Queen’s patronage for the last few years.

The big street party hosted by the Windsors at N° 1 was for those patronised by Her Majesty. But giant screens were set up in Green Park so you could settle down under your umbrella to watch other people tucking into free nosh. I find it difficult to empathise with someone whose idea of Sunday entertainment is watching the privileged eat fine cuisine….while they the viewers sit under rain umbrellas eating soggy sandwiches. But each to his own.

Have you been patronised by the Prince Philip and his inherent rudeness? Has the experience ruined your life and led to massive bills for private counselling? If so, why not talk to the UK’s leading litigation group, Tryle & Errah plc? Remember our slogan:

‘If you’re needy, you need lawyers who are greedy’

Anyway, me being a bigoted Little Englander Brexiteer who hates foreigners, I’m off to eat my Kleftiko Lamb out here in France.

Earlier at The Slog: Time for Waspis to become Cheetahs

14 thoughts on “At the End of the Day

  1. I’m down to chicken Luis, and bottLe of Tinto in Sao bras de alportel Portugal.. enjoy the day. John clees is for out. “Happy Days”. I have spoke to many folks, but they are plug in to matrix. 🇪🇺🤐💤


  2. Mon cher JW, if you read “Stalin – Court of the Red Tsar”, you’ll find that he was so proud of his immaculate smalls, snowy-white and ironed (by servants!) that he’d show them off to the other top Bolsheviki……way to go, chevalier preux et hardi…..


  3. JW,

    Mr Brexiteer, what’s your thoughts on the EU justice system?

    Can’t quite square it up myself I have always been taught you are judged by your peers the problem is the peers in so many cases are corrupt. Would the EU judical process be better than our current jury system? I do remember there was a bit of a stink on this a few years back but its gone silent now.

    It only just dawned on me see, all this focussing on the economics and democracy of the decision on the 23rd June I forgot … would you believe it all about the difference in the legal system. As far as I understand european nations don’t like the jury system but then you are relying heavily on a clean and honest judicial system and if the EU is anything to go by “not a chance”.

    Just trying to decide now if that needs adding to my list on why to vote BREXIT. Any info on this one, pro’s and cons would be much appreciated.


  4. @prokopios

    That could well explain why the Cold War remained cold. I remember as a sprog seeing signs that suggested Y-fronts prevented fall-out and Uncle Joe’s tighty whities were obviously well maintained. Perhaps the prevalence of soiled underwear in Brussels over the impending Brexit vote and Obama’s penchant for ‘going commando’ bodes badly for world peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. @ Mark Deacon – “Corpus Juris” is the name for the EU’s system of justice, providing one European Legal Area, A European Public Prosecutor and a European Criminal Code and in my view it’s one of the principle reasons to vote for Brexit. Apart from doing away with jury trials it abolishes habeus corpus, i.e. the concept of “innocent until proven guilty”. Criminal investigations make no distinction between imprisonment for prosecution purposes or investigative purposes.

    It transcends British law when a British person is under investigation by the European Public Prosecutor (EPP) who can request his remand in custody. . .for a period of up to 6 months, renewable for 3 months, where there are reasonable grounds to suspect the accused has committed one of the offences defined, or good reasons for believing it necessary to stop him committing such an offence. . .” (Page 90, Article 20 of the EU’s own book, Corpus Juris). the EPP can incarcerate someone for months without charge and it appears there’s no limit to the number of 3-month extensions. You may remember the case of Andrew Symeou from Enfield, who was extradited to Greece and languished in jail there, based on the signature of a magistrate, that no UK judge could overturn despite the evidence against him being obtained under duress. He was in a Greek prison for almost a year and denied bail until the trial was adjourned. It turns out he was wrongly arrested and framed for a crime he didn’t commit whilst on holiday in Greece.

    According to :- – Corpus Juris makes very clear the implications for our legal system and individual rights:- “What we propose is a set of penal rules. . .designed to ensure. . .a more efficient means of repression” (CJ, Page 40) (sic). Just google “how many Brits have been wrongly arrested by EU police”.

    Then we have the EU Arrest Warrant, where a national judicial authority, such as a court or police force can issue an EAW to get a suspect extradited. There are examples of our own police forces “misusing” this mechanism for justice, as in the Ashya King case. When the Kings sought treatment abroad for their five-year old son’s brain tumour, they were subject to an EAW, then jailed in a Spanish cell, leaving Ashya alone in a Malaga hospital. All because they didn’t fill in the right forms at Southampton hospital. Although our own judicial system is also often open to question, Corpus Juris seems like jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. So the eu system of justice is an even bigger ass than ours. And that’s saying something.
    More nasty nazi mentality showing itself again.
    No, I’m OUT thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Any of you seen the websites “Redefining God” And “Vigilant Citizen”?.

    I have no MSM in my home anymore,. Last night I logged in to John’s site, then ZH as usual. Wife told me about the Orlando tragedy. Then thanks to VC site I looked for the symbolism. There it was June 12. 6/12 = 6+6+6. Now if that isn’t blatant I don’t know what is.


  8. John !
    My other half phoned the council this morning to ask , when the f, our postal vote stuff will arrive?..bit miffed, in a way as they said Tuesday .
    Ps our local MP is an outer as in Brexit! not like the feller north of here.!


  9. But I don’t know how you expect leaving the EU to result in anything other than all that royal and military stuff getting even worse. The whole way this country is run desperately needs the kind of check that European institutions provide, and I suspect a large part of the reason people kick up a fuss about it, is that they don’t want their cosy, self-serving worlds being subject to scrutiny.


  10. @Alexie – Thanks

    So in effect I am going to have less democracy, more corruption and now a justice system I have never been educated for.

    @Tom – read between the lines the UK Gov as in Cameron and crew want in because of the increased lack off accountability not more, a perfectly corrupt system you will never know the figures and a justice system that can jail you because they can.

    Seems like the three most sensible reasons to BREXIT and no immigration is not in there because immigration is an effect and not the cause of a system not fit for purpose just like all the other issues.


  11. Well, I do hope you weren’t watching today’s PMQs, as all your dogs hairs, skin and litter would have rapidly have been replaced by vomit.

    A more sycophantic rigging of PMQs to present the PM with Remaindeer Long Hops to smote to the boundary ropes has surely never taken place……

    As I was saying to my mother over lunch, in all the EU debates, do you ever see a taxi driver expressing their view? How about the owner of a small hairdressing salon? How about someone selling vegetables from a market stall? All those millions of people working for the S and VS parts of the SME ecosystem, whose trading range barely stretches to 30 miles, let alone to nearly 30 countries.

    Of course all the big multinationals and the political bigwigs want to remain in: the EU was set up for their kind.

    What about all those for whom it WASN’T set up??

    They are, after all, rather more British than imported American bankers, Barack Obama and Jean-Claude Juncker, aren’t they??

    When are they going to have their say??



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