At the End of the Day

mesnipIn an amazing display of unprecedented compassion, 1950’s born Waspi women deprived of their State pensions have agreed to house one Bubble Migrant each. Perhaps more than any other single act, this illustrates the profound cultural nature of British fair play. The Slog investigates.

Although the EU’s lachrymose welcome to all Middle East migrants may be breaking down in the cold dawn of bureaucracy hypocrisy, the Samaritan instincts of those deprived of UK State pensions by sprained jargon and broken promises knows no bounds.

Over the last few days – as it has become apparent that the Camerlot Bubble Dwellers are doomed – thousands of Waspis have rushed to volunteer use of their spare bedroom-taxed spaces in order to house the 3% of political Bubble Migrants who would otherwise be hacked to pieces by gangs of marauding disabled thugs.

Destitute pensioner Lynne Drewery lives on a diet of wood shavings and burnt toast crumbs, but she has graciously offered to house Jeremy Hunt and feed this nourishing mélange to him in perpetuity. And Torquay slightly violent terrorist Lizzie Cornish insists that she will feel “no bitterness towards” Stephen Crabb as she shares with him her daily portion of Lidl communion bread and sour wine, while he dangles suspended from the 1936 bakelite ceiling light fitting by his wrinkly crabapples.

Said Remain spokespillock Rajid Cameldung, “Let’s be clear about this, as my good friend and mortal enemy Doris Jobsdone has said many times, oppressed minorities come from all sections and levels of society. It warms my absent heart to see these acts of kindness from loyal serfettes willing to take in billionaire bankers and Cabinet Ministers whose various scams took them in for many decades. This is what we Conservatives mean by enlightened despotism”.

Ros ‘Jewels’ Altmann was unavailable for comment as The Slog went to press, but declared herself “happy to pretend I give a shit at every available juncture, for which my fee will never be less than thirty pieces of silver, Ithangyoo.”

Earlier at The Slog: Brexit, Remain Lies & Leave facts

10 thoughts on “At the End of the Day

  1. Am sure in the banana state! they can scrape the banana skins of any remaining potassium before placing them on the chancellors desk to slip in his next target! am sure Mr Crabb being a good Christian would love to walk in the shoes of one of his victims,sleeping rough on one of the quays off one of the many tors in Cornwall ,Jeremy Hunt loves crumbs but scrumping apple and pears is more his forte! Sam having been the greatest Samaritan in history ,in going to the rescue of the bullingdon boy head piggy as turned into a aritisan

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  2. Oi Cornwall woman! Get in the queue behind the Welsh WASPIs if you want to rehabilitate Crabb, he’s all ours until we have finished with him. There’s another 330 or more to chose from who voted for the Reform bill if you want to rehome any of them to share your rich and rewarded lives after a life of toil.

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  3. The Crab will have weighed up the risks, personally and politically against WASPI women . What the worst they can do ? Um not a lot really . OK ,tell to go take a hike . God be with you Stephen.

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  4. Basically the system rears a population to be actually care and then uses that malleable trait to rob, steal and thieve from them. Until you are prepared to break this part of the programming you are powerless to do anything as many have realised democracy does not exist and those rights they told you you had? You have no such rights because look at how easy it is to make them disappear!

    Poof and then they were gone.

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