New UK referendum shocker as key Brexit supporter claims Vote Leave truth-drug doesn’t work

longnose1

Having recently conducted extensive psychographic research among those determined to stay in the European Union (but unlikely to bother verbalising their decision by voting, as such) I have amazing news for strategists in the Leave camp: your strategy is wrong.

You’ve got to grab people in the opening paragraph, right? And nothing agitates your strategists more than telling them they’re off-strategy, on account of following the wrong strategy. Believe me, I’ve been there: it’s like spotting in a maths exam that – having devoted ten minutes to a quadratic equation – you copied down the equation wrongly in the first place.

This is where the Leave strategists have got it wrong: all along they’ve been thinking the game was to pick the low-hanging fruit, viz, indecisive people open to persuasion by intelligent argument. Whereas my qualitative, in-depth analysis based on one focus group conducted among the half-pissed terminally thick across the political spectrum – shows that if you climb right to the top of the fruit tree in search of the bitter, nasty and fundamentally self-interested cherries, one completely braindead scare tactic will have them dropping like flies into the Leave basket.

Well, not like flies actually, more like cherries, this being the chosen analogy for today.

You see, the Leavers have been deconstructing the obvious drivel being pumped out by the Remaindeers….and getting nowhere. Whereas they should be taking a leaf out of their book. Or tree. The Brexiters should be enumerating the interests of the self-interested, and – in the interest of saving time – inventing interesting bollocks to terrify those whose vested interests dominate their otherwise interest-free lives. Believe me, this is in the Leavers’ interest, and would produce interesting results that repaid their efforts with ample interest.

My research has identified two groups of confirmed Remaindeers: the Redrobots and the Bluesmugs. Here now – absolutely free * – are the correct buttons to push in order to guide them immediately into the Leave Camp:

Redrobots

“If Britain remains in the EU, it must abide by the Eurovision Directive whereby live football via Sky Sports (an Australian-based company) will be blocked in favour of Eurosport delivery, which consists largely of Serie D Italian and Bundesliga III [North] games”

“If Britain remains in the EU, it must sign up to the Mogherini Emergency Powers Act which states quite clearly that all political organisations with a history of support for Arab extremism and/or anti-Semitism will have all activities suspended until such time as Signora Mogherini gives them a clean bill of NATO health”

“If Britain remains in the EU, the following alcoholic drinks will be banned under the Toxic Health & Safety Directive: all Real Ales, and especially Trafford Old Peculiar Labour; Nettle Wine; Newcastle Haway-pet Speshayall Broon Liyeek; and Welsh Lion 9% Cymru Doublevision Issenit”

“Wolfgang Schäuble  has secretly agreed to push for the European Presidency of Jeremy Hunt”

Bluesmugs

“If Britain remains in the EU, it must abide by the Eurovision Directive whereby live cricket via Sky Sports (an Australian-based company) will be blocked in favour of BBC and Eurosport delivery, which consists largely of one-day 30 overs Lancs & Cheshire League French cricket, off-piste extreme Snowballing, and the Putin Geopolitical Chess Championship Fantasy League”

“If Britain remains in the EU, teams of Europol plain-clothes agents provocateurs will begin executing the European Central Garden Directive. This expressly forbids the planting, growing and nurturing of roses under the Thorn Danger Directive”

“If Britain remains in the EU, it will become liable for all business failures caused by having to cope with multiple currencies…such failures to be decided by Eurogrope members on the basis of the new Revenge on Rosbifs Directive. This will render Britain bankrupt, and where you live will be blighted by rampaging hordes of desperate welfare scroungers whose mere presence will knock at least 35% off the value of your house. They will also trample your roses to death”

“Angela Merkel has secretly agreed to push for the European Presidency of Jeremy Corbyn”


*Under the new TTIP/EU trade Directive, the internet definition of ‘absolutely free’ will be adopted…that is, all information software will be absolutely free to anyone who doesn’t use it.

EUUSR

(The only answer)

19 thoughts on “New UK referendum shocker as key Brexit supporter claims Vote Leave truth-drug doesn’t work

  1. “The Remain lot are taking you for fools; they think you’re stupid and will vote for staying in because you’re frit”. That’ll garner quite a few million votes for the Brexeunt camp.
    “The price of beer and baccy will double if we stay in”. A complete lie but good for many more votes. Well, the other lot are lying their heads off – why shouldn’t we?
    “You won’t be able to mow your lawn after 2 p.m. on a Sunday if we stay in” – see above.
    “Within three years you’ll be competing with Far East workers to earn £2 an hour for a 12 hour shift”; TTIP here we come :-)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The Bluesmug Sports Directive
    -don’t tell me it is Europe that told the BBC to forget what sports fans love, just focus on the women’s version of traditional male sports like football, rugby and cricket, probably golf too. I thought it something the ‘inclusive’ BBC thought up for themselves (cos they wasted their sports budget on everything else). Maybe they should do kids’ versions too.
    Did they also tell the Broadcaster to destroy sports review of the year and turn it into a highlights-free zone of self-congratulations.
    If so, BREXIT right noye !!!

    -and no, I am pro-sport participation for everyone, I just don’t want to pay a licence to watch a diluted version on mainstream tv.

    Like

  3. What’s puzzling is if we are to believe the polls, roughly half the electorate will vote for Brexit, yet the results of this week’s elections show that the vast majority of them continued to vote for the two main parties that campaign to Remain and even the LibDems got a slight boost. Does that mean that apart from the issue of the EU, the electorate agree with all Tory and Labour’s other policies, or when push comes to shove, they will just ‘hold on to nurse for fear of something worse’?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Loathe as I am to say it, I suspect that the ‘troughers’, brainwashed and brain-dead are going to be victorious – by fair means (most unlikely) or foul.

    It is so easy to manipulate those with mush for brains and attention spans of two-year-olds.

    Speaking of which, I read that the Bavarian authorities have resorted to installing ground-level traffic signals in a bid to protect smartphone ijots so engrossed with their devices that they are obliviously walking into oncoming traffic !

    I also see that Lloyds Bank (think – rampaging black stallion) has decided to include gender reassignment surgery as part of employees’ medical cover. Thank God for Internet banking so that I never have to set foot in one of their hallowed halls and guess whether the person behind the counter is a he/she/it LGBT ……….!

    It’s becoming harder and harder to retain one’s sanity – maybe a bit of Donovan’s ‘Mellow Yellow’ will blur it all out.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. @ Chris. Agreed esp first sentence. We will have the Perdition Triumvirate of a leftist apologist for London Mayor , indefinite imprisonment under the EUSSR jackboot heel and Paris -like no go areas under Sharia law in UK.

    Enriching prospect.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “Believe me, this is in the Leavers’ interest, and would produce interesting results that repaid their efforts with ample interest”

    Most interesting Schnuckelchen we should share an interest producing interesting results that interestingly require interest payment.. Is that compound , simple, positive or negative interest? It would interest me to receive your interesting reply which I do anticipate with great interest.

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  7. @alexei

    Hence I did not vote this week to put a mark in a box for someone who wishes to to stay in the EU. It does not make any morale sense to even bother voting under that scenario.

    @JW

    The bit the bluemugs and redrobots do not comprehend, finito, dumb f^cks the lot … to stay in the EU you must move into the EZ and the pound and BOE must go. This half in and half out does not work for neither side so if stay you will to save the EZ be required to dump the pound pronto. Now call me dumb, but you lose your BOE and I can despise the bast$ards is this, that without the ability to manipulate the economy and it MAY EVEN BE TO COMBAT ECB PRINTING you end up like Greece.

    Greece if they could have printed and deflated they would have but with a puppet EZ central bank it was never possible.

    Even Japan still has a central bank printing to try and deal with its economic disaster for now anyway.

    The EZ division is solved 2 ways … UK leave or the UK adopts EU sovereignty in full.

    Rationally now, most global economies are f^cked … go on pick me out a couple of splendid ones? Hence you are jumping into a bad situation where the UK must adopt EU sovereignty very quickly at a time when you may need your BOE to CTRL-P just like Japan just to get you through to tomorrow and the hopeful day somebody finds a solution. Not going to happen … hope has gone now.

    I really, really because of the “dumbed down LibLabCOn sideshows to keep you in” think the stupid population does not have a clue on this concept. Got to admit I disown them on stupidity on this one … Cameron has no safegaurds on the above concept neither that I think will be the end reality.

    If anything all Cameron has does is make sure he and his family will be okay, stuff the rest of you though.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. How about this?

    XXXX is a committed RemainDeer.

    XXXX is a wanker of the first degree.

    Ergo: if you vote to Remain, you must be a wanker of the first degree too.

    Ergo: you will vote Brexit, as you are not a wanker of the first degree?

    Like

  9. Vote to remain in the EU – you know it makes sense…..:ww.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/05/07/farmers-fall-victim-to-the-maddest-eu-subsidy-shambles-of-them-a/

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  10. Scrapie’s a worry too, of course. As evidenced by the embedded vid in the Blue Un’s farming article linked above, one suspects that a great many people are undecided about Brexit on the basis that they feel ‘under informed’. The fact that so many obviously intelligent people still expect to see balanced argument in the MSM, rather than having the self-possession to use their own powers of observation and natural instinct to see that things are badly wrong, is a testament to the demoralising effects of long term indoctrination.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. From a time when the USA had everything to play for and, as we now see, everything to lose. The culture that gave us Walt Disney has also given us World Dysfunctionality.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Don’t worry…
    the USA has the best brains, the most resources, and the habit of winning…
    World Disfunctionality is quite simply Socialism and Political Correctness ( now labelled EXTREMISM) by the current ‘right wing’ leader of the UK – aka David Cameron for example. Too many population cosseted at the base of the pyramid add fuel to the debate, which was never going to be sustainable.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Earlier posts from The Slog’s fraternity have said it all for me. For sure we should live in the present, which is depressing enough, but the future, [OK we haven’t got there] is difficult to be other than pessimistic about. Thankfully JW your humour cheers me up. Thanks again, keep it up.

    Liked by 1 person

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