The dark memory lane of a damaged bellend

The man for whom Cockney rhyming slang was invented, Jeremy Hunt, reportedly said the other day that most of the Junior Doctors didn’t know what they were striking about. It’s funny, but many’s the time I’ve been, you know, sitting in the dentist’s waiting room and thought, ‘Aye aye,’ I’ve thought, ‘I’m in a dentist’s waiting room, what in God’s name am I doing here?’ And then I’ve thought, ‘Good gracious me, my tooth hurts. Yes, that’s why I’m here’.

Most of us, research shows, know why we’re doing stuff like standing on picket lines, walking round the supermarket aisles or applying the brake as the rear of the vehicle in front heads towards us. But who knows, perhaps there are occasions when even people like the Manchester City goalkeeper Joe Hart suddenly think, ‘Blimey, there are two white posts one on either side of me and why are all those people shouting ouch a leather sphere just hit my head’.

The buck stops with Jeremy, because he is the Secretary of State for Health. Technically, he hired these people, because he’s only been in the job for four years and they’re junior doctors. When they grow older – much older – they’ll be senior doctors, and the most important function they’ll perform is diagnosing illnesses. It kind of goes with the territory when it comes to doctoring. The only doctoring Jeremy ever did was on the results of a Times competition to find the best employer in London, when he and his partner in Hotcourses, Mike Elms, filled in the forms on behalf of the staff. Because of this, they won the competition.

But in his defence, it could be that Mr Hunt thought to himself, ‘Mike and I will fill in all these forms although I’ve no idea why we should want to, and there will perhaps be some advantageous reason for doing so but search me as to what it might be’. Thus later, he could say “I did nothing wrong”.

But it’s a lot less easy to pull that particular leg when you’re a proper grown up medical doctor. It simply won’t do during Sir Peregrine Fruntbotham’s ward rounds to assess a patient by observing, “This patient is clearly ill because he’s in hospital but I’m awfully sorry, I’ve completely forgotten why I trained to be a doctor, so quite franky squire, as to the specific nature of this chap’s malady, your guess is as good as mine, and very probably better”.

So you see, if the Health Secretary is hiring juniors unable to retain reasons, motives, callings, bones or organs, then he’s a bit of a washout as a Health Secretary. But of course, we all know that’s not a reasoned observation: Jeremy Hunt is a washout at everything. He always has been. Except crawling up every Murdoch ring he could find. He got 93% on that one, and it’s seen him through. Well, that and nepotism – through which he inherited the Surrey SW seat, and as a result of which, he began supplying course pamphlets to the British Council. Yet somehow – despite being the only bidder – he screwed it up, so Baroness Nettlekettle-Fettle had to bail him out.

But again I stress, on Planet Hunt nothing we do has any rationale worthy of staying in the mind. Thus, Jeremy has no idea at all why he withheld emails from the BSkyB bid enquiry, had several meetings with James Murdoch in New York during 2007, blagged a seat off his second-cousin, denied she was his second cousin, co-authored a pamphlet urging the destruction of the NHS, or won’t meet the junior doctors for further talks. Indeed, he’s no idea why his second cousin sits in the Lords, and that allows me to do my first good deed of the day by reminding him: she is the chief lobbyist for the UK’s private health insurance sector.

Yesterday at The Slog: how HS2 helps George Osborne crack down on corporate tax rates


  1. Plenty of junior and senior doctors do have learning difficulties, it’s just that they are in areas of life not intimately connected with treated sick people.

    Many certainly have learning difficulties with regards to promoting healthy living, as they promote semi-alcoholic drinking, they are involved in the widespread infestation of the security services/spying mafias within the London Teaching Hospital scene (which shows terminal learning difficulties in respecting privacy of those not working in the NHS) and they have psychotic learning impairments with regard to the concept that those who don’t work in the NHS, aren’t qualified to work in the NHS and have no wish to work in the NHS are absolutely free to work wherever they want without considering the egotistical nonsense inside those senior doctors’ heads that other people’s lives are utterly determined by their pathetic power complexes which deem that they cannot earn less than aforesaid others, despite having chosen their earnings brackets by signing up to be an NHS doctor (apparently having too many scruples to fill their boots by working for saudi billionaires on the private). The concept that, in a FREE country, a contract of employment is solely between an employer and an employee and does not require ratification by a psychotic control freak senior doctor is a bit above their pay grade (which is reliably documented to be well north of £100k per annum).

    They have learning difficulties in understanding that if you trash friendships freely made by other parties in other countries whilst a guest in aforementioned other countries, then the concept that the other parties will freely consider doing you huge favours by leading you around ski slopes for free in the limited holiday times that they have may show you to be a few Ryan Giggses short of a monogamous lifestyle.

    They have learning difficulties in explaining how living in a luxury 2 bedroom apartment in a palatial townhouse just off the Finchley Road for less than £500 per month for up to ten years is not ‘payment in kind’ with an associated requirement of due reporting to HMRC. The claim that the Lady Humphrys, retired Permanent Secretaries or the like, who owned the joint, were ‘helping poorly paid doctors live in London’ is somewhat incompatible with the ‘poorly paid doctor’ being paid in the top 2% of the population……..

    Finally, they have learning difficulties in understanding that joining MI6 does not make you a better doctor, since you have to ascribe to attitudes and controlling behaviours incompatible with healthy living. It may make you part of malignant and malevolent London power networks, but it doesn’t make you a better doctor. It makes you even more of a control freak than you were to begin with (which is starting from a fairly high baseline)……..

    I’m not sure whether Mr Hunt would agree with me, as he would far prefer doctors to be like that than actually be decent, generous human beings capable of not being an only child in a two children family.

    But it does place a context into Mr Ward’s lack of detailed knowledge as to the kinds of human beings that doctors actually can be………..and the levels of revoltingness that are par for the course in graduating from junior doctor to senior doctor……

    And lest Mr Ward wonders, the most senior Doctor in this country is a foreign national and a member of organised spying networks.


  2. Neil Kinnock did warn us. But it’s hard to have a lot of sympathy with either side. Most doctors are overpaid and aren’t as good as they think they are, just like most politicians. A few years working long hours and then spending the rest of your life on a lavish salary and pension doesn’t seem too bad a deal to me.


  3. Germy Hint suffers from pudendal nerve entrapment (PNE) which explains why he is such a chronic pain. He also suffered from earning difficulties as a child but, with hot curses and cold spite, managed to elevate himself above them. His view, however, that imprecation is better than embrocation is not widely held – aye, there’s the rub.


  4. I can’t stand Hunt either, but I feel there is a bit more to this junior doctor angst. They say it is not about money, but don’t believe it. My understanding is that a lot of those junior doctors who are most angry, are part timers, by choice. At present if they work [lucrative rate] weekends plus maybe one other [flat rate] day, they can make a very decent salary for a 3 day working week.
    Under the new system they can’t use Saturday anymore, to ‘juice up’ their salary, and will either have to accept a lower remuneration for their 3 days, or increase in their hours to a 4 or 5 day week,… like the rest of working folk?.
    There is another aspect to this. Whilst working part time is their choice, they are effectively, not a ‘full doctor’, in terms of their availability to the NHS. By this I mean that if the NHS employs (say) 150,000 doctors as its ‘workforce’, but a third of them nominate to work part time, [say a 3 day week], then overall in days of availability, the NHS system probably only has a 130,000 doctor workforce, even though employing 150,000 ‘actual’ doctors.
    Methinks,…This is a much more intricate argument than it first appears.


  5. Blimey, there are some strange coves in here. I was genuinely fascinated by rtj121’s entry, but by the end of paragraph three I decided there was something personal and MIish involved so I gave up.
    As for doctors wanting an easy life, might I suggest that choosing a career where (to be temp or perm) you need to study for eight years, pass a total of 17 exams, have three top grade A-levels and spend at least a year as a 24/7 zombie is not the fastest way up the greasy pole.
    I also feel bound to point out that I distrust the entire medical profession with just three (count them) exceptions discovered in 68 years: most of the hospital variety are arrogant fitwucks with a God complex, and GPs these days seem to think they are Alan Sugar.
    But to rephrase Mr Churchill only slightly, “I would deal with the Devil himself if it meant ridding this planet forever of the stain left by Jeremy Hunt and all his kind”.
    And yes, of course he wants to destroy the NHS: he wrote a frigging pamphlet SAYING SO, are you asleep or Wot?


  6. Sorry to be dense rtj, but your post has me confused for several reasons. None of my business of course, but you seem to be referring to a sibling or a possibly an (ex)-partner. If your point is that not all doctors are exemplary human beings, you would find no argument from me on this, but I do question its relevance with respect to the present dispute over Junior Doctor pay and conditions. In my opinion, most senior bankers are the moral equivalent of a brown stain on the pavement, but medical salaries pale into insignificance when compared to the outrageous remuneration enjoyed by those City criminals.

    Also, who is the most “senior Doctor in the UK”? Were you referring to Sally Davies?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Cannot see the junior doctors giving up on this.
    NHS has to bear too much weight from arrogant government. They are World Health Service – but not being paid for it.
    JH has been hand picked by the PM and possibly will be the cabinet member to sink this government. Its a close run thing between MAY, OSBORNE and HUNT. All 3 are unqualified F*CKWITS destroying this country. The doctors know it, the Public knows it.


  8. Indigo,i suggest you look al little further into this matter.As you have no grasp of the reality of it..Drs pay is affected by many things but the ability to pick your own hours is not one of them.Your other assertions are also way off. I also work in the NHS and have no say over the hours or shifts i work. But like Drs i also have an inbox that is full of solicitations to work elsewhere. Frankly if i were a Dr i would be seriously considering a move to anywhere but here. Talking to a Radiologist last week he informed me that a move to Australia would double his money and cut his hours.
    His is a Profession in short supply as are Drs of any ilk and my own for that matter. The hospital i work in has twenty vacancies in my department alone,the shortage of staff is unprecedented. I could go on but most on here are aware of the situation,or think they are.However i can assure you its far worse than they imagine.
    ps just finished a 16.5 hour (16.30-09.00) shift in accident and emergency in which i am the only radiographer in the entire hospital after midnight, medium-sized District General Hospital of 500 plus beds. Cant say i saw any part timers in the place,but then i only work here so i wouldn’t know.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Several commenters on this post seem happy to ignore the fact that the monetisation of medicine – and practically everything else – has been facilitated and encouraged by various governments over recent decades rather than by the medical profession. While it is true that some doctors, having been forced to adopt imposed working practices which provide the opportunity, have followed the money more than their calling might lead us to believe they should, very many have not. Medical administration and working practices in UK are now so dysfunctional that the vast majority of practitioners, who would like nothing better than to be allowed to do their job effectively and without political interference, are prevented from doing so. General practice is now so unattractive that the numbers entering have fallen dangerously and hospital work is often fraught on a daily basis with interference from people who have no clinical expertise. Falling into the government/MSM laid trap of doctor bashing is merely symptomatic of a wrong diagnosis.

    Liked by 4 people

  10. I see a lot of junior doctors come and go, far from being the entitled spongers and time servers that NHS senior management has become they are in the most part dedicated and conscientious.

    The new contract will force many junior doctors out of the profession, single parents and women are especially vulnerable to the new terms and conditions, I know two junior psychiatrists who will not be able to continue their careers because they simply cannot afford to live and continue along their career path – childcare, rent and travel costs will render them virtually penniless.

    The role of consultant is well paid but still not the panacea that some think it is and considering the amount of kowtowing and drudge Mr *unt expects doctors to endure in order to attain this level it is barely adequate.

    *unt is playing a very dangerous game with people’s health. If you want the doctor that holds your life in their hands to be expert, motivated and awake you have to give them decent pay and conditions – the new deal fails on that metric by a country mile.

    Of course *unt wants you to reject the NHS for precisely the above reason and buy a BUPA subscription.

    Liked by 5 people

  11. During the past 78 years, I have never had need of a banker or civil servant. Grateful thanks to the medics. they will always be in demand and I hope will continue to be there.


  12. @Heiro
    You are spot on there, the red tape is now more important than patient care and there are legions of NHS staff dedicated to its worship like some kind of totem.

    I could give you very many detailed examples but it’s too depressing to even think about.


  13. Unfortunately, this rather seems to be back to the “What’s your Bottom Line” argument.

    I’d always place my health first, in my rather uneducated & pragmatic way, it just seems that it is the primary attribute to being productive. That fixed you can start looking at the rest of the problems.

    That’s unless you are into Eugenics, & I’m all too ready to begin to believe there are some.


  14. Whoops, got my phrasing wrong on the last line… I meant to infer that to mean, out there in the wider material world. Apologies.


  15. Glad to see the thread improving as the day goes on. I suspect there may be a correlation between later risers and balanced comments. I sense there may be a correlation between later risers and advanced age. I sense there may be a correlation between advanced age and wisdom. I sense it may be time for my Coronation as Supreme Emperor of the Solar System and Huntfinder General. I sense the need to go and lie down.


  16. I sense the fact you are past it Schatz.

    Knock this frog thing on the head and come back to Bloomsbury and the wonders of a midday pint or few at The Prince of Wales Feathers ……… followed by an afternnoon of decadence and delight with your Angie Baby who is your Special Lady Living In A World Of Make Believe.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. rct needs to adjust his medication. I’ve read some paranoid tosh but that takes the biscuit. For too long those working in the nhs are expected to be “angels” or doing it as a vocation for peanuts. Well waken up people. They are coming out of uni with debts of 50k +. They work shit hours for crap pay. Get used to paying for your health’s its coming. Got type 2 diabetes and are a fat bas..d pay for it. Had a heart attack and still smoke ,pay for it. Got a shitty tit job abroad and expect the tax payer to sort it ..sod off. Teeth full of holes because you can’t be arsed cleaning your teeth and eat buckets of sugar ,pay for it privately. You get the gist.


  18. JW @rtj

    Possibly had an altercation with the NHS tends to do this to a person… my family will never trust the NHS again.

    By example a close relative seriously injured years ago sent home for A&E with paracetamol. F$%k up? Yep but instead of honesty it ended up being a nightmare of cloaks and daggers. NHS clean up teams have the skills of intelligence agencies they impersonate police officers too if need be. Also when the coverup is on the go records change and you thought you were speaking to doctor X but it was an imposter. You find this out later when you actually meet the real one.

    These clean up teams…

    Do not do health they do covert ops so you can see where the talent is going to come from and not even going down the path of what I would do if I ever catch them. Now they can look over their shoulders forever, it is one thing catching criminals and a whole other matter when an innocent person endures a f%^k up by the NHS and they aid in the concealment of the evidence.

    Think that might give a better insight … lost all sympathy with the medical establishment after that.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. @Hiero: You might almost think it was planned.

    @ rjt: I really couldn’t fathom that at all, you may need to explicate more fully for the likes of me.


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