PICTURE POST: Putin & Obama, Ros Altmann & retirement, The Daily Telegraph & makeovers, Jeremy H**t and dementia

putobama

Tell me….based on recent events, whose judgement would you trust? Of course old Rasputin would say that, but look at the facts: Greece a failed State, Italy on the brink, Spain breaking up, France and Germany arguing about Fiskalunion, Poland refusing to take the euro, Hungary refusing to obey the migrant share-out, and Britain close to baling out from the 5-humped Sopwith Camel as it plunges towards the trenches below. All this and Recep Erdogan too. Mmmmm, yummy.

Roschamp

On behalf of all betrayed 1950s female State pensioners in the UK, I very sincerely hope so.

taxburden

 ostiny

We all know there’s only only newspaper with a neck so brass, face so bare and brain so empty as to print this gem, and yes of course it’s the Daily Telegraph. In 1785 France, the Telegraph would’ve gone with ‘Cake supplies for peasants plentiful, research shows’ had the King asked them to. Even the Madness of King George isn’t profound enough to run this the day after his disastrous budget: I include it tonight because it has come to my attention that – having given things time to calm down – the Chancellor has hired some advisers (none of them Sir Humphreys) to relaunch him….and this is the beginning of the Mission from Hell.

The content is supremely silly, but a little deconstruction of it won’t do any harm:

os1

The reasons for this are very simple: either people have no job, or a short-hours job paying crappy rates. Far from being good news for working people (whose real PDI has dropped 30% in just over twenty years) its bad news for the Exchequer: 47% of people paying no tax, half of whom claim benefits, is the Treasury’s worst nightmare. It helps explain, apart from anything else, the £36bn hole in Squeaky’s budget last year.

The Telegraph’s definition of “rich” is the top 1%. By anyone’s standards, the ‘rich’ are at least 4.5%: the 1% one might better describe as “so rich they buy vulgar vodka palaces and bankrupt innocent company pensioners’. They’re paying about 30% more in tax, but then they are earning almost 55% more than they were in 2009.

One can sum up the lie in this poppycock very quickly: while the poor are paying a lower percentage in tax, 17% of nothing is still nothing; and while the rich are paying a higher percentage in tax, their PDI is 37% higher than it was when George ‘Sums’ Osborne got to work.

A lower mass PDI alongside a few people earning shedloads simply cannot support a modern economy on an island with 57 million people sharing it. Exactly the same is true in the US. It explains the jobless recovery, the pensionless WASPIs, and the insolvent BHS. The problem is the other thing it explains – the Green yacht.

Another lifelong chancer trying hard to Show He Cares is the man in charge of the demolition of the NHS, Jeremy Hunt. This is an excerpt from Jezzer’s consituency website:

huntsite

It’s self-interest again, I’m afraid: poor Hunt’s own dementia is so advanced, he’s forgotten how to spell his name. So he’s been committed…and is running a desperate campaign to raise awareness of his incarceration. The bloke doing all this bad stuff to the Junior Doctors is actually his twin sister Gemma. Straight up. Barman at The Hub & Platform told me.

Here’s another Torygraph curio working hard to show that white is black and the cheque’s in the post:

Kirkupunt

The only useful role Barclay bumboy and Space Cadet Captain James T. Kirkup plays in my life is as the hack equivalent of antimatter: I read his more outlandish stuff purely for confirmation of what obviously isn’t happening. He’s the contemporary equivalent of Izvestia Agricultural correspondent Sergei Rimlickovitch, that fine early 1950s beacon of Truth whose stories always began ‘Comrade Stalin’s 5-Year Plan for tractors completed by Heroic Suvyet Workers in six months’.

Note the Twins’ technique of putting nonsense into inverted commas, as if it might be a widely held belief capable of holding water. In fact, this is just Kockup’s own opinion. In a previous existence, I was married into a medical family. On the whole, they’re Right Wing: but not one of them thinks the Junior Doctors don’t know what they’re striking about.

However, although you might think my Izvestia parallel a tad fanciful, I would beg to differ. I’m indebted to long-term Slog loyalist Val for drawing my attention some weeks ago to the fact that the Maily Torygraph has now stopped allowing comments on their delusional columns. I suppose it’s bad for one’s image to get 350 comments, 347 of which suggest you are mad, and the other three are from the columnist’s Aunti Vi.

Val was suggesting that this ‘editorial’ hahaha decision had coincided with the start of the Brexit campaign, and thus is it in fact a coincidence? It’s an interesting thought, as the vast majority of the Barclaygraph’s readers are (I would’ve thought) pro-Brexit.

But what’s fascinating about this new ‘Have Your Say’ wheeze is that it really does have the mark of Nazi-Soviet dictatorship ‘reporting’ about it….whereby free expression has been replaced by let’s give free expression to everyone who agrees with us. This makes sense surely – they must by a process of elimination be NVEs: and the sooner we can eliminate all these disagreeable NVEs, the better.

It’d be reassuring to dismiss my feelings about this as vaguely surreal satire, but the track record facts suggest otherwise. The Daily Telegraph has been a thinly veiled PR vehicle and weapon of mass distraction for years: it went nap on MPs’ expenses, but flatly refuses to print a word about the Whitehall unfunded pensions heist; it was caught red-handed charging HSBC for favourable coverage; it prints ‘special features’, the donors of which are at best highly questionable; and only last month I heard of a wheeze whereby one’s survivors can buy a sanitised obituary for the lost loved one. Think Leon Brittan, and you’ll be close.

Peter Oborne is an open-minded and fine man. Last year he resigned from the  Seismograph because he could no longer close his eyes to the whoring. I rest my case.

And finally (as they used to say on News at Ten) a brief selection of recent media desperation in the face of nothing muuch to write about….

missing

murderer

psychics

anger

Give this lot to a Daily Mail subed, and what you’d get is ‘Workshy Murderer stabbed absconding State pension fraudster at Hippie anger class because ISIS prediction about end of world proved false’.

Earlier at The Slog: wide berths for yachting wide-boy in BHS shocker

16 thoughts on “PICTURE POST: Putin & Obama, Ros Altmann & retirement, The Daily Telegraph & makeovers, Jeremy H**t and dementia

  1. Just your usual non-content spiel saying nothing but keeping your usual subscriber chums like KFC very happy.
    Come along Jean and grow up. You *can* and often used to do better!
    You have now lost it you old fart, eh?
    Grow up – even though it is very late to tell you that advice maybe!

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  2. @W(T)F

    We’re very sorry that your operation was cancelled and hope that making childish comments here has provided some relief for this and your various other disappointments. Better luck tomorrow.

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  3. It’s rather pathetic to see the Telegraph increasingly desperately trying to lure back the hundreds thousands of readers it no doubt permanently lost by stopping readers’ comments. Talk about shooting themselves in the foot.

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  4. Hunt’s agenda I’m sure is starve it,break it and then say “look everybody it doesn’t work” They had to hire a slime ball to perform such a shitty job. But hey , it paves the way nicely for ,yep, TTIP.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. GNUS FALSH: Celebrities Dropping Like Flies…
    Have your comment…”We are ‘all’ living longer”…Too Famous to Read Government Statistics?

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  6. “47 Tucanae” is a globular cluster located 16,700 LY away in Tucana, and at 4.9 Mag can be seen with the naked eye! i just need to turn up the mag on my eyes!

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  7. Apart from the disappearing comments, what happened to all the DT Blogs? I seem to remember “BLOGS” was a feature on the top strip of the page and in a separate box on the right. Clicking would produce a choice of some 20 or so different writers (including Oborne) offering views on varying topics, which one could comment on. These seem to have also vanished into the ether. What with the heavy censoring in the Grauniad of opinions dissenting from their editorial bunker or politburo, one gets the impression the British media really do not much like freedom of expression any more….

    Liked by 1 person

  8. alex- yesterday the Grorn ran a funny one about demanding sick leave for the death of a pet which cracked me up.

    Although it is yes a fascist rag the only one which had the balls to print the Elm Guest House story when it broke was the Daily Mail. You have to filter out the latest on the Kardsashans and the video nasties from ISIS but that is the only paper which is out of the control of the establishment. It does however publish crap from the Tavistock Institute.

    Tavistock? Now what is that I hear you ask. Google away….

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Re Daily Telegraph: I noticed a while ago that articles by Ambrose E-P were no longer appearing in the online version of the DT. Prompted by this Slog post I looked again day and the latest AEP article shown is dated Feb 22nd, as it was last time I looked. Is anyone else seeing this effect? If so, what’s happened to AEP?

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  10. The Telegraph does not understand the modern day comments section.

    You write a nonsense article the comments section is where the readers take the p^ss out of you and disprove the bullsh^t in the article. The comments section very often links into other things and it is this cross referral to what other people are saying proves

    “I live in a society that is deceitful and fraudulently run on so many levels it is mind boggling the cost, outright thieving and waste of energy to keep it all going”

    Congratulations to all those who finally exposed the truth on Hillsborough 27 years ago, that truth should have been sorted out 26 years ago but not in this LibLabCon world of cover ups and unaccountable spending. All three have been in power in some shape or form these past 27 years as a continuation of a theme right up to today and the denial of open debate on our position in the EU.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. torygraph has dropped off considerably since their “new” look, mostly laughable pap now. peter oborne jacking it in with them spoke volumes.ps fortin mind your manners, you are among grown ups now. cc.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. And three comment pieces about anti-semitism today. More lies and bullying about Israel at the behest of foreign owners. More attempts to unseat a democratically elected party leader because he does not pledge craven subservience to a foreign regime. It makes you realise why they used to have the death penalty for treason, as that is what the wicked people who have infiltrated the government and betrayed the British people deserve.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Ambrose and readers’ comments were the biggest attractions of the DT for me. Now I simply cannot be bothered to read it.

    Like

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