Unbroken News

A new Conservative initiative in association with the Hangethics & Shanghigh Bank of Cocaine (HSBC) was announced this morning by a desperate bunch of cornered Toffs the Conservative leadership to extend the London Tube system beyond the wildest dreams of every junkie in the land.

The Osborne Cocaine Line marks a break with tradition by not naming a new Underground extension after a Royal Family member, but rather after a keen snorter and Chancellor with no vision but myriad recreational visions.

The stops on the new intercontinental line will be:

blob Colombia

blob Camerlot

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Baron Green

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Luxembourg

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  Zurich

“This mode of travel will offer international executives a unique choice of mind alteration and tax evasion,” said London Mayor, vivacious blonde Doris Jobsdone 36-46-76, “and demonstrates clearly that the Government’s long term crack withdrawal programme is working”.

nose

The clocks are going forard tonight, and as ever the various political groupings around the Western world are in varying stages of readiness….and not necessarily all rowing in the same direction.

The Troika in Athens have arranged for all clocks to go back to 1810, and be synchronised with Mr Erdogan’s Justice & Development Party Time in Turkey.

In Berlin, the CDU is going back to 1923, while Alternativ für Deutschland will be putting the clocks forward to 2022.

In Britain, Corbyn Labour will be resetting timepieces to 1890, the Liberal Democrats to 1916, and Camerlot Conservatives to 1120.

And the US will decide on November 8th whether to set EST at January 20th 1993, or July 4th 1776. Opinion is sharply divided as to which will be the least disastrous.

Finally, here in France The Slog calculates that the Real Time is one minute past midnight on 22 February 1787.

But then, Time is an illusion….and also relative.

guillotine

Boombust TV says that the World is in a disinflationary rut. I say that it’s in an indeflationary stagnating growth phase, which is merely the precursor to a new non-expansionist paradigm wherein a zero interest in ongoing unfolding events going forward will create a whatever response from the growing opinion lag investment sentiment condiments available to decentralised banking orthodoxy.

But I could be wrong…and as ever, I retain an open mind as to whether the Stephanie Ruhle applies, viz, we can go on TV every day and yak about Chinese derivatives and Japanese Abenomics while giving due deference to Draghi’s Nirp; but somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly on the yellow brick road to Oz where the Wizard is just an inadequate jerk incapable of speaking plain English sufficient unto the phrase, “It’s all Bollocks and that’s official”.

gobbledygook

Earlier at The Slog: More stuff happening behind your back

8 thoughts on “Unbroken News

  1. Splendid idea for the new line . It would make travel arrangements to collect my ill gotten gains from the Luxembourg Sicav on my way to squirrel them in the Zurich account whilst stopping off at Baron and Ladty Tina Green s drum in Monte Carlo to say hello , much easier.

    But as it is walking distance for me could you replace the vstarting point with St John s Wood instead of downtown Caracas?
    I realise it will disrupt Giorgio s hallucinogenic marching plans but it would be ever so convenient pour moi as it is only a short walk from Carroccio Towers .

    Thank you.

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  2. By virtue of the fact that Chancer Frogspawn’s pronouncements on economics and anything else are incomprehensible, the station after Zurich (Camerlot Court Rules) can only be.. Snortington Crescent.

    @carroccio1958

    Carroccio Towers, St Johns Wood, isn’t that just down the street from the Labour In Vain?

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  3. Here in the States we have been saving time for the last two weeks. Depending on the interest rate we should be several pounds ahead of you blokes by now. However don’t pay us quite yet we will subtract it from your account in the TTIP ………..you won’t feel a thing.

    Thank You
    Uncle Sam.

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  4. Always remember Uncle Bill that you only have the language on a leasehold basis, and it runs out next year….at which point we’ll be ussuing a class action suit for $16trillion for persistent strangulation of it.

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  5. If time is an illusion, wouldn’t the railways have a bit of a problem?

    I mean, if time didn’t have any concrete existence, each passenger would have their own time, and on average, for half the passengers, the train would be late and for the other half, early. As to the timetable itself… with each driver and each guard having their own time, the result would be absolute chaos.

    It is true, however that our impression of time is our own: for many passengers on a train, the time passes slowly because all they can do is stare out the windows at the passing trees and fields. For those with an iPhone, time passes swiftly because they’re busy whats-apping their friends.

    But that doesn’t mean the train they’re travelling on arrives any earlier – or any later, come to that. It just has the appearance of doing so.

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  6. @HeresOneWeMusedEarlier

    No squire you re thinking of the Walworth Road ( which I believe is reputed to be near a place called Newington BUTTS.)…

    Like

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