A new Conservative initiative in association with the Hangethics & Shanghigh Bank of Cocaine (HSBC) was announced this morning by a desperate bunch of cornered Toffs the Conservative leadership to extend the London Tube system beyond the wildest dreams of every junkie in the land.

The Osborne Cocaine Line marks a break with tradition by not naming a new Underground extension after a Royal Family member, but rather after a keen snorter and Chancellor with no vision but myriad recreational visions.

The stops on the new intercontinental line will be:

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Baron Green

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Luxembourg

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  Zurich

“This mode of travel will offer international executives a unique choice of mind alteration and tax evasion,” said London Mayor, vivacious blonde Doris Jobsdone 36-46-76, “and demonstrates clearly that the Government’s long term crack withdrawal programme is working”.

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The clocks are going forard tonight, and as ever the various political groupings around the Western world are in varying stages of readiness….and not necessarily all rowing in the same direction.

The Troika in Athens have arranged for all clocks to go back to 1810, and be synchronised with Mr Erdogan’s Justice & Development Party Time in Turkey.

In Berlin, the CDU is going back to 1923, while Alternativ für Deutschland will be putting the clocks forward to 2022.

In Britain, Corbyn Labour will be resetting timepieces to 1890, the Liberal Democrats to 1916, and Camerlot Conservatives to 1120.

And the US will decide on November 8th whether to set EST at January 20th 1993, or July 4th 1776. Opinion is sharply divided as to which will be the least disastrous.

Finally, here in France The Slog calculates that the Real Time is one minute past midnight on 22 February 1787.

But then, Time is an illusion….and also relative.

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Boombust TV says that the World is in a disinflationary rut. I say that it’s in an indeflationary stagnating growth phase, which is merely the precursor to a new non-expansionist paradigm wherein a zero interest in ongoing unfolding events going forward will create a whatever response from the growing opinion lag investment sentiment condiments available to decentralised banking orthodoxy.

But I could be wrong…and as ever, I retain an open mind as to whether the Stephanie Ruhle applies, viz, we can go on TV every day and yak about Chinese derivatives and Japanese Abenomics while giving due deference to Draghi’s Nirp; but somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly on the yellow brick road to Oz where the Wizard is just an inadequate jerk incapable of speaking plain English sufficient unto the phrase, “It’s all Bollocks and that’s official”.

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Earlier at The Slog: More stuff happening behind your back