Work continues apace on the CFUK (Corporate Fascist United Kingdom) Building being constructed on an Avian reserve floodplain between Bristol and Weston-super-Mare. Since last May – when contractors Camerlot Construction were awarded a new sole contract – the rate of completion has accelerated, and it now seems likely that the new HQ will be completed ahead of schedule.
“The problem with our former partners [O’Clegg Cable & Ashdrown] was their habit of querying the genius of the architect at every stage,” said Project Chief Jeremy Frunt-Botham, “but as Mr Friedman has been dead for many years, this was obviously pointless. Now we are completely free to get on with it.”
Asked why speed was of the essence, Punt-Bottomley replied, “It’s a technical question involving the need to make sure the structure is weatherproof before anything untoward like global economic collapse occurs. Thankfully, the restructuring of the NHS involves a great deal of demolition, and we have been able to recycle the reclaimed stone as well as declaring some of the patients fit to work here thanks to the superb monitoring undertaken by G4S under its new CEO Caligula Shapps”.
The foundations of the new building are made from reinforced McAlpine BBC Funk, and the walls – donated by Messrs Randylion & Murdoch of Boulah Springs North Queensland – have been sprayed with the new miracle ingredient Non-violent Extremicide. Complete protection from invasion by any contrary information infestation will be supplied by promising new anti-hacking startup Morgan Brooks Mail, based in the St Paul’s Madacre district of East London.
Extra-special care has been taken with the roof. Built to exacting TTIP standards and comprising several bands of Boycott-resistant Netanyahu© Tissue lying one above the other, it will be held in place by 270 brass tubes allowing the structure to breathe out but not in.
“We think it jolly appropriate that the all-important roof will be held aloft by brass necks and a tissue of lies,” commented Budget Controller Gridiron Snobcoke, “because it has proved itself time and time again over many centuries to be by far the most effective method of holding things together”.