At the End of the Day

 The changing paradigm of the anagram diagram can only lead to the anodyne

I’ve always had a bit of a thing about anagrams. I suspect constructing them is a mild form of OCD; but even if that is so, they’re harmless and entertaining.

The idea of ‘the game’ is to rearrange the spelling of a person or organisation in such a manner as to suggest their real nature and personality accurately or ironically. On this basis, Piers Morgan becomes Romping Arse or Ron Smearpig. You get the idea.With Piers, one always wishes his surname was Canute, but you can’t have everything in this life.

So to take some people in the news recently, Janet Yellen becomes Yale Jetlane (ironic), Mitt Romney becomes R.M. Moneytit (perfect), Donald Tusk is Dodunk Last, and Jeremy Corbyn emerges from the chrysalis as Moreby Crynger (suitably Dickensian) or Ben C. Merryjoy (ironic).

However, the arrival of Chinese politicians onto the world stage presents something of a problem for we radical Anagramistas. Apart from anything else, some Nazi phoneticist somewhere – a mysterious Bond villain who strokes cats and lives under a Pacific Atoll – keeps changing the way we should spell their names and cities. So there you were, minding your own business, and that terrific Mao Tse Tung anagram you had (Set Atom Gun) goes out of the window because the bloke is now called Moshe Dung.

Further, research shows that Asians are not good on the whole with r’s, and Chinese names tend to be monosyllabic. The best one can do with Chinese security spook Lu Wei (Uw Lie) is not exactly inspired, and for all I know completely inaccurate.

Then there’s the love affair with x’s, and q’s without u’s. The letters x and q are every rearranger’s nightmare. Huang Shuxian, deputy secretary of the Central Committee for Discipline Inspection – lucky man – was very nearly Ian Shag (something funny) but somehow, Huxu doesn’t fill the ‘funny’ space terribly well. The best I could manage was ‘U, Shanghai Xu’ and then I gave up.

Qi Jingmei – senior economist with the State Information Centre – is so unfair as an anagrammatic name, it would become the subject of a major Sino-British diplomatic incident were it not for the fact that the rubber-backboned British Establishment uses its spinal disability to engage in every form of bodily origami in order to please Beijing – which used to be called Peking….and still is when ordering duck in a Chinese restaurant. Jimi QI-Gen – the world famous rockstar Stephen Fry groupie – is as good as it got.

If you enjoyed this, you’ll probably also like this one about dingbat software and depressed salmon

10 thoughts on “At the End of the Day

  1. I had always felt curiously at a loss when attempting to form anagrams for the mountebank Jeremy Hunt; there seemed to be a want of a letter or two but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Imagine, therefore, the suffusion of joy which assailed me when I discovered that he rejoices in the middle names of Richard Streynsham. Suddenly there is a world of anagrammatic invention open to one …

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  2. This is the black art for which I still employ Scrabble tiles. The geriatric brain appreciates being able to work with the physical.

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  3. Don’t forget that Jeremy Hunt’s good pal, Virginia Bottomley, emerges from an anagram as – I’m an evil Tory bigot.

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  4. What with jeqi minge & geriatric brains working with the physical, my thoughts turn to galapagos tortoise lookalike rupert m, equine jerry h and a defibrillator hitched up to a cock-ring.

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  5. I also used to enjoy doing this until I realised that Margaret Thatcher becomes That great charmer – the accuracy of the irony was unbearable.

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  6. Viewed at its most abstract level, some fundamental agenda has been at work to influence the European-derived peoples of Europe and of North America to view concern about their own demographic and cultural eclipse as irrational and even as an indication of “psychopathology.” Needless to say, this project,spearheaded by the noxious doctrines of Political Correctness, has been successful; anyone opposed to the displacement of Europeans is routinely treated as a mentally unhinged “hate-monger,” and whenever “Europeans” defend their group interests (rarely done), or protest their own recent experience at being colonized, they are often perversely described as being ‘racist’.
    Mass immigrationfrom the Third-World, affirmative action policies, anti-discrimination laws, and forced integration are clearly not in the interests of “Europeans” as a ‘group’, yet many “Europeans” embrace them, thus demonstrating how completely they have abandoned their own cultural identity in the throes of globalist programming…
    There has never been a time when “Europeans ‘in-the-main’ favored mass immigration from distaff cultures; it was a cohesive, determined ideological cadre that beat down the resistance of the majority.
    Today “Europeans” are, in the main, a declining, apologetic people, ashamed of their history and not sure even of their claim to lands they have occupied for centuries. It is very rare for fundamental concepts to be stood on their heads in the course of just a generation or two, as has happened with thinking about race and Euro culture. Such speed suggests there has been something more than natural change at work. Only now, has there been the slightest glimmer that perhaps the West has been betrayed by cultural quislings within, massively misled by Political ‘leadership’ at the helm of captured institutions above AND beset by the ranks of the culturally-alien ‘tempest-tossed’ from below. THAT’S why we see the rise of so-called “right-wing” political movements in the West.
    What’s the anagram of the above?

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