Being mad is not an option if you run the Big Stuff in this life – it’s obligatory….and shit.

Just when you thought it was you, it isn’t

Human contemporary commerce: the highlights

The following econo-fiscal concepts are in play at the moment: helping Greece with its debt problem by loading it with further debt, calling it a bailout, and then stealing its assets; revaluing stock market levels on the basis of someone unknown to you having done so 7,000 miles away; getting mired in debt, and then asking lenders to pay for the privilege of lending you more; losing sovereign funds on buying worthless assets, and looking surprised when sovereign debts rise; pauperising consumers as a carrot to induce them to consume more; raising the cost of Dollar denominated debt, in the hope of stimulating those Brics already swimming in Dollar denominated debt; repeating monetary stimulation, using failure as the criterion; presenting the EU as a safe haven for Britain, even though it has the worst export figures on the planet; basing taxation policy on the belief that wealth trickles down, after 30 years of it gushing up; making £73bn of net UK spending cuts, in the hope that this can stop a National Debt rising at the rate of £6.2 trillion every five years; introducing Zirp and Nirp when the biggest, richest sector of Western consumers don’t need credit – but do need income off their investments; stock market indices going up in the face of bad news, and down in the face of irrelevant news; predicting commodity rallies in the context of global economic slowdown;  and focusing on the creation of shadow mega wealth for 0.03% of Westerners, when 80% of consumers have seen their real pdi drop 30%.

I’m sure I’ve missed several more out. But I rather think these will suffice to make a very simple case: that 3% of the global population have herded the 97% into a lunatic asylum…and they, the lunatic fringe, are running it.

Ramifications for my future relations with market & media ‘experts’

You are full of shit.

Given this obvious fact, I’m amazed there’s so much shit left left over to happen to the rest of us. Perhaps it’s that, just as with oil, copper, timber and iron ore, we seem to have an enormous glut of shit.

At first sight, this too doesn’t really compute, because there’s only the 3% of you broadcasting shit – and yet even when we the 97% are getting it 24/7 in the media, there’s still a glut. But that’s because you the 3% Undead don’t get marketing, whereas the rest of us do: there is no demand any more for shit.

We’re all shitted out, Master of the Universe guys. Every last sector of shit – horseshit, bullshit, chickenshit – is flatlining because too much shit happens as a result of it, and too many innocent people wind up in the shit. We’ve eaten shit, and the experience is not conducive to repurchase….at least, not for we the normals.

Notes on the safe disposal of toxic shit

As 100% of all shit is created in the minds of the 3%, the problem is not as insurmountable as it seems. For example, one could donate St Helena to the 3% along with the entire world supply of shit, and deport all of them there to enjoy a life of bliss, minus only their munnneee. After all, who needs money when you’re a bottom feeder with an infinite amount of free shit? No such thing as a free lunch? Think again!

Listen, it’s a small and insignificant human experiment: if they die, they die.

What to do in the event of any leftover supplies of shit

For those of us blessed with a charitable disposition, there are others collaborating with the 3% who love wallowing around in shit, and  believe me, they can’t get enough of it. It therefore behoves like-minded folks to give generously to all those who make and design circuit boards, programs, online service navigation, connectivity protocols, panels that appear saying ‘Error 651′ or Somethings not right’, boilers with onboard computers, and software called Windows where the two solutions to every problem are either ‘close more windows’ or ‘turn it it off and then on again’.

You know, there are times when I think I might be the reincarnation of Flash Gordon. But then there are better days, and the illusion fades.

If you enjoyed this post, you may also like ‘George Oborne bans wisdom of clouds’

23 thoughts on “Being mad is not an option if you run the Big Stuff in this life – it’s obligatory….and shit.

  1. It hasn’t stopped raining since the tories got elected …….

    cheers Canexpat – spent a year studying with those guys way back when, enjoy :0)


  2. This is an excrement description of our cess pit the younger yet. The market top is in and bell has been dung. The next step will be the manufacture of bricks as we watch it drop back into the porcelain repository. May you all find a suitable paddle for the journey up the creek.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Once upon a time, on a frosty winter night the little Sparrow got frozen and fell on the ground.
    A cow passed over him on the way back to her byre. She dropped a huge pile of shit on the Sparrow. The shit warmed the little sparrow and he started to sing for the joy of being alive.
    The Fox heard the Sparrow tweeting. She grabbed him out of the shit and ate him.
    1. If somebody shits on you – maybe he is not your Enemy.
    2. If somebody gets you out of the shit – maybe he is not your Friend.
    3. If you are warm and happy in a pile of shit – keep your trap shut


  4. McDuff being happy wallowing in Cownure isn’t humanities strong point,although expecting humanity to wallow in it is


  5. Snoopers Charter
    First they let the bad ones in with open doors. Then they use this as an excuse to snoop on us – ‘ for our safety.’

    OK…so now I’m told, some people have a new hobby. Examine GHCQ with googl;e maps day and night. Learn the layout. Do the visits and take thousands of photos of all the people and the geography. Extreme maybe, but just one way they can make their point to the f*ckwits that govern.


  6. The thing is at school you are not taught how to avoid the shit because then you could have avoided the elites jolly time.

    So you go off in life, continually stepping in shit or shit always seems to happen but you always put it down to your own actions.

    YOU DID NOTHING WRONG and no matter how good or clever you are one of a substantial number destined to live a life of shit as stipulated by the elites.

    But where does this shit come from? I never created it but once you fall into the toilet you seem to flounder in shit after that.

    Shit is the vaccum left behind after the elites took as much out as they could for themselves IN EVERYTHING.

    Elites do help a few out of the shit like if you are getting some form of financial assistance to live in this shit world other than that you get nothing.

    After living long enough, living in “the good way”, no criminal here you will finally put those bits together.


  7. I learned too late a definition of an Expert, namely, one whose predictions are no more accurate than an ape sticking pins in a board of possible outcomes but the Expert has better excuses as to why they were wrong!

    OT whatever happened to the problem of multiple rehypothication that the City of London is the world leader in?

    My stab is that the world finance industry is totally effectively undocumentated as to verifible counterparty risk again.

    Numbers get bandied about with gay abandon and seem to be ‘verified’ by the number of ‘likes’ or some other bizarre and truly irrelevant measure.

    It is truly a very strange time we live in.


  8. You don’t consider it shit to consider Leicester City and Tottenham Hotspur qualifying as of right for the Champions League triggering a requirement to give ‘get into the European Central Bank Free’ cards to Man Utd and AC Milan if they are so shit that they can’t get their shit together enough to qualify as of right?!

    Amazing how all this ‘get into jail free’ card proposition comes up just as Inter, AC Milan, Man Utd, Liverpool and Chelsea are all in the shit in 2016……

    Lord knows what will happen if West Ham and Everton get their shit together next season and all four of the traditional ‘big boys’ (that doesn’t include Man City) are hounded out of the munnee…………


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