ANCIENT NEWS: Davos Cameronicus returns from wasteland barrier against Franks with ill-defined victory

 

Having fought his way back bravely from Gaul – despite being harried on all sides by rebel leader Nigella Fartacus and his ally Toryrannosaurus Brexit – leader of the Imperial Britannic Legions Davos Cameronicus today addressed the demos in order to affirm that he had brought them panem et circenses to last into perpetuity and beyond.

“Henceforth,” he told a wildly cheering mob of passers-by paid in panem et circenses to cheer wildly, “we shall be safe from the Gauls and barbarian Germanicus who would dare to threaten Civitas Londinium.”

Outlining the agreement yet to be signed (on account of Gaul and Frankish illiteracy) Cameronicus urged all proletarian citizens to agree to it in the spirit of trust so well established by the Western Ostrogoth hordes who disembowelled Graeciae.

“This will not be a plebiscite” he promised, “but rather a Recommendum…in fact, an historic Camerondum”.

Plebeians were later said to be confused.

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