A Word in your Ear

Tonight’s word is ‘trending’

‘Trend’ is another of those nouns corporate America has turned into a verb – to diarize, to window your diary, to monetize and so forth. ‘Trending’ I think began on Twitter and refers to people and events getting high tweets and attention. In this sense, it is self-fulfilling – the more tweep bodies you have to trend something, the more it will trend.

This delivers two insights to you and I not involved in such bollocks: first, that given time, extreme Mammon will pervert everything; and second, the mismatch between what Sofa Dwellers (and those with even the most basic ability to think) find important is depressing – as in, it’s like the emptiness between two galaxies.

Thus, while #LoveratAndy is trending on UK Twitter, the chances are that in the real world beyond media ‘content’, NATO has arrived in the suburbs of Moscow just before the Autumn sets in.

Turning down the surreal control a bit (but not much) as I write these are the UK tweetrends:


Paramour will mean nothing to anyone, seven are sport (six of which are soccer) one is about Ninjas that even I think of as extinct turtles, and one is about a day to celebrate the making of ‘friends’ on the internet. What will Hallmark think of next – #BitterCampusKillerDay?

In the rest of the online media meanwhile, the big stories are:

Erdogan killing every Kurd he can find, Erdogan blackmailing EU, Hungary & Poland pledge to tell Euronauts to go f**k themselves, Temperatures set to plunge to -15°C, and Robots will take over most jobs within 30 years.

A lot of this is just more evidence of the unerringly bland globalist media/marketing twatter designed to reduced everything to One Size Fits All. But one man’s meat, as the saying goes, is another man’s poison: and my trending is not your trending.

These, for example, are my trending concerns tonight:

The Trésor Public says I haven’t paid my tax, but I have; all three roof Veluxes leak; the large Ash tree to the West of the converted barn is creaking disturbingly; I’ve received another bill from the vultures who run the Blackwall Tunnel; United lost 2-1 at bloody Sunderland for crying out loud; my memory is getting worse; a congenital lying idiot is the Prime Minister of my Homeland; a heartless ice-bucket and a business fraudster are in charge, respectively, of the UK’s Welfare and NHS systems; US, British and NATO troops may soon be head-to-head with Russian soldiers in the Eastern EU; I have peripheral neuropathy in my feet; and the fridge has started to mutter venomously.

Perhaps a latter-day Bob Dylan might have written ‘You can be in my trend if I can be in yours’, but life isn’t like that: as the much-missed Graham Chapman said in Life of Brian, “We are all individuals”….and the adoring crowd shouted the same thing back in Orwellian unison.

Ultimately, the greatest judge of any form of trending is surely Time. This is what was trending on Twitter in 2009:


Let’s face it, (a) Swine flu x 2, UK snow, Earth Hour, AIG and Obama’s inauguration have not turned out to be enduring; and (b) Iran x 2 + Tehran, and Gaza haven’t changed much for the better. So the overall conclusion has to be that Twitter’s trending list is a sort of barometer of the ephemeral and the insoluble. There is zero evidence in there that trending fulfils any purpose beyond giving the least intelligent chatterati a soundbite with which to venture forth at Abiligail’s Party.

The only way to use Twitter to advantage is to follow those who say something interesting and/or funny, and then cull those whose amusing insights turn out to have been beginner’s luck. That way, one winds up with at least the chance to gauge the importance of trending…but through the medium of tweeps who have a consistent track record of suggesting something pro or con the trends.

Around 2000 years ago, the big trend in Nazareth was the local King’s programme of Firstborn Slaying. I doubt very much if #babygenocide would’ve been much of a guide to the future.

18 thoughts on “A Word in your Ear

  1. Just to say that any posts by a “Gemma” between now and tomorrow evening(ish) will be JW’s little pervert. The kind of man who the banks like to have in Parliament as they have something to tell the newspapers about… and so have some control over him.

    Perhaps JW could check hte provenance of this comment and have a word in the little man’s ear…


    After all, we’d not want to find him mentioned in the headlines of a national newspaper as a suicide, hanging from the lampshade in his frillies, would we? Perhaps JW can pursuade him to stop, as he did with Stevie (The Real One)’s little goblin, or is casual sexism to continue here?


  2. Dear Gemma, your alter-ego is so much more – how shall I say it – congenial; more humane and less all-knowing, kinder and less argumentative.

    Dear Not-Gemma, cut the crap and stop pretending to be someone you are not, even though your adopted faux personae is an upgrade over the original.


  3. You omitted to mention Scumeron claiming that to leave the EU would breach ‘Nation Security’.
    I knew he would resort to this but, I thought it would be the final ‘get out of jail card’.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Trending…

    Within the last 48 hours we have Barry O’, John Kerry and that arch hawk Ash Carter telling us it is good for UK to remain in EU. Their comments are enough for me to vote leave. Unless this is a double bluff and they want the UK to Brexit.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I think I have neuropathy of two upper right molars mein kleinemaus.

    I am summoning Mengele back urgently from Manaus so he can ” resolve ” my problem.

    Shall I ask him to swing through Lot et Garonne whike here liebling ?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Trending Should?
    They should donate billions to the descendants of those who did their stuff at Bletchley Park in the 40s
    ( They = google etc )


  7. I liked the alternative Gemma, the one with the Victoria’s Principle franchise and a liking for brandy but I feel we really need the real argumentative Gemma to keep us on our toes. So death to Trolls.


  8. So a huge number of people use twitter’s 140 characters to talk about something trivial which won’t be relevant in a few days,
    Whereas of course before twitter came along, people dedicated the lives to much deeper things.
    For example, whether Camus’s existentialist thinking was more authentic than Sartre’s. Or whether scientists really had discovered gravitational waves. Or whether David Bowie had delayed announcement of his death so as to be able to improve sales of his latest album.
    [OK, I admit it, I made that last one up; nobody but me would have come up with such a crackpot theory.]

    Thank goodness those not on twitter are free to have deep meaningful discussions on subjects over which they have no influence, such as Erogan’s foreign policy, or how the world of work will change in the next 30 years.

    But above all that, we must not let those American corporations take over words such as “trend”*, and condition our minds like some Orwellian Big Brother.

    A verb used in various forms with shifts in meaning since around the year 1000AD

    Oh by the way, I have heard that ALL words were made up. Do you think that is true? And if it is true, who do you think might have made them up? And is there anything we can do to make sure that American companies don’t take it upon themselves to make words up?


  9. Waldgaenger, “I liked the alternative Gemma That’s why such people are used by the banks, isn’t it? Because men are rather more suggestible than women. (Which is true, for all its appearance as the kind of casual sexism that passes for equality on this site).

    After all, whilst impersonation is obviously tolerated on this site – and nothing has been said against this – it only means that fraud is also acceptable.

    Because in law, impersonation (which in modern terms is identity theft) is a crime punishable by imprisonment. Only, if you’re a banker in London you can get away with this, or if you are have control of the courts of law as is possible in the UK.


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