At the End of the Day

Top Ten Slogtips

  1. Don’t take the woodburner ashes outside when there’s a Force 9 gale. You will simply become Ashman.
  2. Don’t take the woodburner ashes outside when there’s a Force 9 gale and torrential rain. You will simply become half man, half ash.
  3. Don’t try to speak more slowly than Janet Yellen. People will think you’ve had a serious cerebral incident. It doesn’t do to make people more concerned than they are already, and it won’t have any effect on Janet.
  4. Don’t wear hotpants in Saudi Arabia, they will take offence. And your head off.
  5. If you’re a Pope, don’t shit in the woods. It just confuses the bears.
  6. If the economy flaps, flutters, makes an undiginified splashdown and sinks, it’s very probably a dead duck. Disbelieve other interpretations.
  7. When an MP declares his goal to be the destruction of the NHS, appointing him Health Secretary is highly unlikely to result in a change of heart. Especially if he doesn’t have one.
  8. When finding yourself in Imperial Rome, do not demand of Caesar that he adopt Sharia Law. Chances are he’ll force you to retrain as a bad-guy Gladiator.
  9. Stock Markets are aggregated neurotics. Such personalities suffer from anxiety, moodiness, worry, envy and jealousy. They are strangers to balance, wisdom,  quietude, tranquility and all the other things you need in a financial adviser.
  10. What happens on television is not real. This is especially true of the News.

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14 thoughts on “At the End of the Day

  1. meanwhile…

    Cameron’s EU ‘renegotiation’ has turned out to be the damp squib many said it would be. He knew that there was never the remotest chance he could achieve “reform” just as he knows that the leftovers he is trying to hype up as a brave new deal don’t mean jack. Issues like the free movement of people within the EU are non-negotiable, and always will be, and any “changes” will be challenged and over-turned as soon as. There is no treaty change, no “repatriation” of power and not the slightest chance of the UK being able to make our own laws or run our own economy.

    Cameron comes across about as honest as a pencil-moustached 1950s spiv loitering in a dimly-lit Soho side street. And where is the opposition? Shamefully Corbyn is still ducking the issue. The Establishment case that EU membership is the only sensible option will be pushed down our throats relentlessly for the next few months. It does not take a brilliant mind to know whose side the “impartial” BBC will take.

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  2. 11. Don’t carry burning logs from the living room fireplace to the one in the upstairs bedroom. My Uncle Casso tried this and burnt the carpeting on the stairs.True story.

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  3. Cameron should be told that his EU deal is akin to pissing himself in a dark suit, he might get a nice warm feeling but nobody else notices.

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  4. What happens on television is not real. This is especially true of the News.

    By the way, the VW scandal seems to have lost its impetus… but then Deutsche Bank’s in the news right now, diverting attention from the shenanigins of Wall street’s “Champagne Charlie” derivatives operation. Their successor to their “let’s make fraud a genuine asset” campaign of the late 90s and early noughties, it led to the last crash, in case we’d forgotten where it came from.

    According to some reports, Morgan Stanley has $1500 trillion in derivatives… but that’s not news because Americans are nice people who do not go around invading other countries like Germany did in 1939. I think there are a few people around here who are old enough to remember that? After all, it was important news, wasn’t it?

    Or if they do, they do it because America is the land of the tax free corporation. Sorry, the mainstream media have informed me that this was a typographical error and should read “free”. It’s a land where everybody’s happy because the rest of the world aren’t, because the corporations oops! other countries don’t have the freedoms that all Americans believe in.

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  5. I had goat curry for dinner last night – not much goat to be found but there was two handbags and a bicycle chain – yummy!

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  6. @Gemma. Well said.
    And corporations are people…hahaha…;-/

    I told my boss, the reason I was late was because, I got out of bed on the wrong side and it took me longer to walk around!
    He told me to get my coat…

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  7. TROLL ALARM

    Ohh…sorry for the rant again…
    I got out of bed the wrong side this morning with a bit of a sore head…

    There’s a trannie on the loose!!! JW, do you like trannies as much as I think you do? After all, it’s not a crime to impersonate, is it – but you’ll only say that publicly to another man.

    I’ll add that in the real world, impersonation is called fraud.

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  8. Sorry John …But shite still happens!cut this from someone with a problem….
    No prob. Bomb the shit out of whoever, and bring in the Muslim refugees, plug ’em into the welfare state and just watch as they multiply like maggots on a festering corpse.

    Game over.

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