Jerks, Cheats, Wars, and Whores on the Web


This morning, one of those adorable Microsoft panels popped into view: use the Microsoft Backup Suite, it said: it takes but a few seconds, it said. That seems like a good idea, I thought.

Two hours later, my laptop had crashed twice – and I had been the recipient of endless vague and contradictory inaccuracies.

‘There is no DVD in the D Drive’. Wrong.

‘You have not chosen any files to burn’. Wrong.

‘You still have files left to back up’. Wrong.

‘An error has occured’. Right.

However, what truly pisses me off is the assumption of the Silo Stepford Wives that the error is mine. Having lived through a stream of required downloads (one of which idled away twenty minutes before telling me ‘Something isn’t Right’) and reconfigurations before eventually giving up, I regained my sanity and decided to use the fucking computer for something useful.

But still this ‘alert’ from the ‘action center’ keeps saying, “Important updates and backups urgently require your attention”.

In the good old XP days of yore, backing up one’s files was a matter of five seconds attention per day.

I’m all updated, downloaded, upbacked, and inundated out.


I surely cannot be the only surfer to have noticed that Google – under multivariate circumstances – now needs two clicks to achieve certain actions that used to require just the one. These include the ability to switch from news to web during a search, to go back one page beyond Google search, and other randomly introduced variations.

As of three days ago, Google took over from Apple as the most valuable internet/hitech company in the world. Part of the judgement of this by braindead analysts is how many clicks it records.

I don’t like to think too much about how many digital ad agencies are selling clicks to their clients as evidence of advertising effectiveness. Go to any site at random, and you will experience just how infinitely more click-sensitive an ad visual is than any other region. I would estimate based on my own longstanding experience (divided by two because my fingers are not what they were) that a good 30% of ‘recorded clicks’ are nothing more than user error….aka deliberately created accidents.


When I use Microsoft’s memory-apps page to access Twitter, it offers me a crappy browser layout that is less than useless.

The only way to get round this is to go to Google and laboriously type in ‘Twitter SignIn’.

Microsoft’s default search engine of choice is Bing, which I can only conclude stands for Bing Crosby…..who – despite being dead -would be a better bet as an engine if you were searching on the internet. Perform any software download using Microsoft software, and there will be the flyshit half-point light grey option ready-ticked to make Bing your default engine.

Recently, I posted about the gangster hijack tactics used by Yahoo to get new search users. Some of you tuned into the markets may have noticed that Yahoo stock is heading towards junk status. It is no less than they deserve.


Looking for internet reviews of any value is an ever-worsening nightmare. The key reason for this is that self-assigned ‘quality adjudicators’ are far too often in the pay of the crooks who sign up for their service…which, on the whole, is a service to the crooks, not the consumer.

I first discovered this eleven years ago while on the case of a serial bankrupt and violent offender in the UK who was busy providing the sort of pc repair service that the average mediaeval serf would’ve found wanting. One of these ‘filter’ sites was including said chummy as a five-star rated supplier of computer services.

I alerted the site to its mistake, only to be informed by return in fluent Anglo-Saxon that the mistake was mine, for it was clear to him that I was a sleeping Soviet Commissar out to destroy the global success of unregulated neoliberal capitalism.

More than a decade on, the ‘service’ provided by millions of similar sites recommends everything from Avast security software (whose mafiosa methods are infamous) all the way through to a rift of sites – for once rightly – designated by Google as dangerous.


Having for many years naively assumed that this sort of whoring was restricted to the lowest of the lowest virtual common denominator, in recent times it has become clear that both the Telegraph and the BBC are quite content to whore for HSBC. So the George Orwell vision of media existing to promote the corporate (as opposed to questioning the veracity of the greedy) is, like almost all of his predictions, coming to a bitter fruition.

I posted some time ago to the effect that the internet is a vanguard warning to us all of what it would be like to live in the physical world under the jackboot of élites whose only desire is to sell any old shit in order to make blood money. The Present has already rendered it well past its sell-by date.

Earlier at The Slog: Uniting the Brexiters by condemning the 1%