At the End of the Day


This is John.  He has been described, varietally and regularly, as a Nazi, a Communist, a paedo-sicko, an Islamophobe, an anti-Semite, an arse-licking Islamophile, a Zionist, a feminist, a misogynist, a Europhobe, a European, a lush, a killjoy, a plutocrat* and a vagrant. So John is convinced he is annoying all the right people.

But John’s permatan disguises the horror of his ordeal at the hands of New Labour, Old Camerlot, Uncle Ben Bernanke, Young women, Orrible Orange, Beastly Boris, Ghastly Grant Shapps, Nasty Newscorp and a plastercast of many others sporting feet of clay.

John needs your help. He has only nine bedrooms left, and continues to battle with the maintenance of dysfunctional zips on his 237 pairs of Brooks Brothers trousers.

Just one small donation of €50,000 would enable John to fix the leak in his swimming pool, buy caviar futures at the bottom, purchase a lifetime supply of Viagra, and take full advantage of every desperately pauperised female falling victim to his inestimable charm.

Think about it for a second: do you really need that bus fare to the Job Centre? Couldn’t you skip that evening meal of raw potatoes? Aren’t your children fat enough already without giving them spare money to blow on needless things like malt, hi-calcium milk, and anti-rickets medication?

All that John wants is to be one of the 67 people who have more money than the other 7.6999 billion others on the planet. Is that too much to ask?

Please give generously and without regard for the sanity or survival of your family.

Issued by the Conservatives for Two Nations Committee

*Somebody who suffers from sexual fantasies featuring the technicalities of abusing Donald Duck’s Dog.

16 thoughts on “At the End of the Day

  1. Great picture John. The haircut makes you look 15 years younger. Now all you need is a wet shave and jt s back to your Riaring Twenties….. get the hot face towel good and ready and turf out the switchblade razor.


  2. Excellent….. But it puts me in mind of ” save the grandparents. ” but from what .. Supporting Sam Cam at £100k a tear from spending time from her family, from watching Murdock jog with his new “dating” friend, or the queen from having to listen every week to the greatest conman since B Liar. Only £5 will give me eternal peace…. Yes it’s coming soon to a bank near you.


  3. John,

    No bank account details!


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  4. Mr. Casso,
    Please be sure to include some obsidian blades in your kit for post apocalyptic surgery. Sharper than surgical steel but they do chip a bit when carelessly banged against bones. Properly used one can butcher a deer in no time.


  5. Please support John’s cause generously because don’t forget folks , the more you can find it in your hearts to donate to John,the more he’ll have.


  6. Stuff the dis-liker’s, & hold the liker’s at arms length, sycophants. Too many of the “Not Fair” brigade around, bloody cry bullies. Give them your personal truth, I say… “I didn’t hurt you, or do you any harm by speaking my honest personnel truths to you, your the one at fault for hiding stuff from yourself!” To me it really is one of the major problems we face. I’m not talking about “Blaming others”, Just the simple fundamental deceits surrounding what we all are & the rather substantial stuff we share in common. FFS what happened to conviction, mention that to almost any politico today & they start getting all Blob Monkhouse & looking over there shoulders as they start thinking of cover-up’s & court cases.

    Everything now is from “Between the lines” & there was little if any truth in those. I remember a time when you were allowed to have something called character, what everyone of us as characters believed might have been absolute bollocks, but it was our own bollocks, thought & all life was richer for that. Has it gone?

    … not here, thanks John.

    p.s. The nice man at the bank wouldn’t let me transfer any money to you, something about a long standing technical issue. I suspect he’s already spent it. Spilt Milk, Ho hum.


  7. John – have you ever been called a White Inferioricist? I made that up. I’m gonna start a movement of us. An army of FUMAMs. Fed Up Middle Aged Males.


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