GLOBAL MARKETS ANALYSIS: Wanted – 2000 Hollywood scriptwriters to produce 45 cover-stories over the next six months

Thank God it’s Friday. As I suggested earlier today stock market doom is not happening this week, but I’m not expecting or accepting any brownie points for that one, because correction is a multi-stage process that involves regular rallies. Most of the people who take even a passing interest in bourse behaviour know this; in fact, I’d wager that a sizeable proportion of the hibernating chysalis population grasps it too.

Every pack species has its hierarchies, and when it comes to wealth management ours goes like this: The Top 1%, The Toady 4%, The Decent Sane 7%, Business Media, ‘Quality’ media, The Smug 25%, The Shrewd skilled artisan 10%, The RightOn 20%, The Fluffy Green 3%, The Couch Hybrid 30%, and the Tabloid Media.

Does any useful cultural insight come out of this? Yes actually, I think it does. This is that the Decents, Shrewds, RightOns and Fluffies – total 40% – seriously question the economic model that so far dominates the 21st century. However, they are divided on almost every dimension of their opposition to it.

This is I know a tediously recurrent theme at The Slog, but then ‘tediously recurrent’ is simply another phrase for ‘consistent’. In 1943, after consistently launching Wallis’s bouncing bombs at the Ruhr’s Moehne Dam, RAF 617 Squadron watched in awe as huge splits suddenly appeared, and the apparently impregnable Dam fell apart. Cue Frank Sinatra singing “High Hopes”.

Why on Earth do I still, now and then, retain some high hopes? Because the Cover Story used by the pernicious 5% is so completely irrational – and unable to survive even the cross-examination of a rookie Attorney – it is only Resistance tribalism that lets them get away with it. Call me mad, but I think the foundations of that dam holding back the pure waters of reason could be destroyed by just one coordinated raid. It requires nothing more than the elements of the Maquis – from Occupy to WASPI – to create a joint op.
That’s a big ask, but as the poor in the West – growing through the rabbit-like procreation IVF techniques of globalist monopolism – become increasingly desperate, I suspect they will demand such an alliance….and, if ignored, turn to anarchic extremes of violence.
Lightening up now, I want to try and outline below just how risible the Cover Story is….through the medium of Davos Week.


Sometimes, the things that give away the cover story are blatant, and at others they’re smile-inducingly ironic. The former make one angry for all the ‘real’ people being left out by the gorgons, but the latter are more satisfying because you just know they didn’t even realise they were doing it themselves.

It’s very easy for this kind of mendacity-reveal to happen, because the grinning crocodiles change the nature of the alibi every day – and quite often, yesterday’s demon alibi can turn into tomorrow’s shining ally.

Last Tuesday, an oil price heading towards $25 (almost exactly 20% of what it had been a year earlier) was being explained away by markets that were ‘deciding’ there was an oversupply problem, with everyone casually ‘explaining’ how wise the markets were being because the markets must always decide….and there’s a silver lining because carnsoomers get cheap gas at the pumps, right? In an attempt at expectation management, a string of CEOs came before the Davos cameras and said they fully expected the price to go to $15, what with the Iranian oil coming on stream again an’ all.

Come Wednesday, lots of news station jocks were using words like ‘bloodbath’ and ‘bear territory’, while expressing the view (shared by many of us) that the whole system is far too multifaceted, random, complicated and generally bewildering. This too was batted back by one robot after another, who said this was why we needed so many fine brains with sector specialisation and anyway globalism wasn’t as connected as some detractors might suggest, for example take China, I mean hell, it’s not really relevant. It’s all pretty straightforward really.

A commercial break then followed in which SOB asset management, Bank of Plutonia, Boombust Brokers, Pastimes Futures and others all gave out variations on the same theme, along these lines:

“In today’s world of uncertainty and fast-moving change, everything can seem infinitely complex and impossible to call. We at Upside Downwave Wealth Management call this the multiple paradigm imperative, and we’ve dedicated our entire lives since our formation in 1278 to guiding our clients through the heavily-mined jungle that is the global investment, forex and unrepayable debt market. That’s why, all over the world, really smart people say, ‘Thank fuck for Updowem'”.

Accidents do happen (even in media buying) and this was for me the banana-skin pratfall of the week. But before we knew it, Thursday had unexpectedly replaced Wednesday, and now it was time to find another patsie to blame for Things Screwing Up.

“I think the markets are being myopic,” said seven more people with shiny heads and button-launching waistlines, “You know, we need to take their antics with a pinch of salt hahahaha, I mean the funnamendles jess aen’t theyah for this level of selloff”.
Suddenly, the universally sage and clinically decisive markets were really just a bunch of monkeys wearing thick spectacles, chucking teapots around and waving their arses at the cameras. But all this got lost in a sudden wave of euphoria in the wake of ECB boss Mario Dragartist saying absolutely nothing while promising almost everything. It stopped the rot. The FTSE ended steady, the Dow made a small gain, and even the Shanghai managed a tiny rise overnight.

Today, for no reason whatsoever the oil price stopped unstoppably falling towards $15, and – in an unprecedented rally – shot back to $31.06. WhyTF, asked the adorable Stephanie Ruhle of Bloomberg, did that happen. Without blinking, four more smiley bonces intoned, with the best impression they could manage of gravitas, “oil was obviously oversold, and the markets spotted that”. These were the same Magoo markets who’d been entertaining families at London Zoo the day before.


Not only is the Cover Story a sort of serial perjury merged with mercurial contradiction, it’s going to get increasingly incredible as one systemic flaw after another pops up with unsettling unpredictability in the months and years ahead.

Crash2 corrections 1&2 were primarily to do with massive PBOC interventions in China, and the biggest commodity drop in history – led by oil. These flaws involved essentially very bright but hopelessly inexperienced Communist officials trying to make sense of neoliberalism, and US anti-Russian geopolitics combining with OPEC pottiness against a backcloth of global trade slowdown.

Here are just a few contestants bidding for fame down the line in The Titsup Factor:

* Credit problems (among bourse traders and commodity brokers) and the consequent exposure of specialist banking firms to their insolvency
* Deutsche Bank mismanagement (check out the €6.7bn loss they made today)
* Italian Banking scandals from Monte dei Peschi downwards
* ClubMed and East European defiance of EU fascism
* Japanese QE insanity
* Draghi promises turning to dust
* South American Bric dollar-denominated debt fallibility
* Australian dependence on unrefined exports in general, and Chinese economic slowdown in particular
* A major Sunni-Shia conflict in the Middle East leading to very expensive US/EU involvement in sorting out the Saudis from the Jihadists from the Iranians from the Syrian/Russian nexus from the Saudi debt mountain
* The ponzi scheme formerly known as the Turkish economy finally coming to light
* Flaws in the Indian fiscal and financial model bubbling to the surface
* An inescapable EU banking collapse involving RBS, Spain, and a French bank I’m not allowed to mention.

If you think all these can be handled with yet more cover stories, then fine: but you need to go beyond the PR sector. What you’re going to need in order to explain all those away is a 24/7 stream of Hollywood action-movie screenwriters capable of inducing disbelief suspension on an industrial scale.

Enjoy the weekend.

20 thoughts on “GLOBAL MARKETS ANALYSIS: Wanted – 2000 Hollywood scriptwriters to produce 45 cover-stories over the next six months

  1. I am the proxy for the French bank whose name you dare not mention and if you allude to me again even indirecrly you will receive a disrespectful and terminal visit from the Deuxieme Bureau !!


  2. Brilliant stuff as always Monsieur Ward. Love it! Un grand merci. If YOU find it confusing how are we lesser mortals going to make any sense of it whatsoever. It’s like a dystopian Mad Men tv drama. Unfortunately I fear that it will play neatly into the hands of Gorgeous George who is clearly already laying out his stall for the 2020 General Erection – oops Election. I gather today he has been trumpeting the UK as a “chink of light cutting through the global gloom”. Trust me and I will lead you through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. And, in 4 years’ time, when the economy has tanked, he will say “It’s not my fault, guv”. Scary, innit? Bon weekend.


  3. The Turkish economy a ponzi? No it’s a basket case as the country slides towards civil war.

    See how the establishent is afraid: today’s Economist, normally a supporter for a Kurdistan across Iran, Iraq, Syria and Turkey attacks the PKK for ‘terrorist’ actions killing Turkish policemen. No queationing as to whether it was an Erdogan false flag and no questioning of Erdogan supporting ISIS and lining his pockets with stolen oil. No, just the usual BS about supporting this brave and vital NATO member. Hearing this crap I’m almost with Corbyn. But then I hear the Germans saying the Turks will have visa-free entry to Europe by October: all 80million of them. There is only one solution in my opinoin: Brexit!


  4. Brexit is the answer.
    This bunch of eu imbeciles cannot manage any problem or even make a decision on anything important while europe stagnates by the day.


  5. I’ve never left a comment here before. But have been following for some time.
    I am an anarchist: or an NVE. But I take acception to the term “anarchic extremes of violence”. I am in no way a violent type of person and i think you should perhaps re-educate you’re self on anarchy. I am against violence dished out by the laws laid down by your saviours (government) but I am also against inflicting violence on another person. (unless they really really piss me off) But that is usually restricted to Call me Dave & his side kick Osbourne.
    But the rest seems OK.


  6. As usual the NWO agenda is oozing out of Davos and quite clearly indicates that there will be no real recovery in the world economy, what so ever!

    The elite will soon be looking to run and hide in those nice underground bunkers paid for with citizens taxes, after engineering a full economic collapse as well as starting WW3, plus they will make sure that there are enough Jihadi’s in the West to start a race war.

    That should be enough to cover up the failed fiat ponzi scheme and take care of the ‘excessive’ population……


  7. Arrrgh. It must be BS Friday again.
    Have just been listening to @JeremyJHardy on BBC Radio4 @TheNewsQuiz, taking point to bash Putin and Russia, yet again.
    In this weeks format, the entire panel have been enlisted to close ranks and have adopted a cross panel strategy to get the dodgy #Litvinenko story “out there”. (hilarious /sarc)
    It appears that the man has had to be actively downgraded from “DefCon Hitler” in the face of wider world events and then reassessed against the term “probable”.
    I have noticed that @JeremyJHardy is always present when there’s some Putin bashing to be done and that the format of @TheNewsQuiz has taken a direct BS propaganda style since the departure of @sanditoksvig. Todays efforts were toned down in comparison to earlier Ukraine/Crimea/Syria broadcasts.
    F them all, for ruining what for me was a great way to wind down on a Friday evening.
    BS #BBCpropaganda. Beware.

    My point is, that they are all at it. Take care. Pay particular attention to @JeremyJHardy.


  8. I’m actually a fan of Putin. If he can force a block between the wests ambition to stage a take over of the non complient countries in the ME then go for it. The Banksters have had the stage thus far; lets see who has the balls to see it through.


  9. @Peter C

    I had to stop listening to the News Quiz a couple of years ago as it became obvious to me that the programme had become just another propaganda platform. I was devastated as it used to be one of my favourite Radio 4 offerings, and I had great affection for Jeremy Hardy. Once I became wise to the real story behind the Syrian ‘uprising’ and the truth of the Nuland-Kagan inspired/enacted Ukranian coup I found the constant Assad and Putin demonisations on the News Quiz insufferable. A great pity.


  10. Diver Mike keep going down and when you hit the bottom don’t stop. You can clean the bottom and whatever is below that then come back up and tell us how it was. Just remember some of us are armed and we fear anarchist as much as order.


  11. @Bill Casso

    That seems a bizarre comment. I think you missed the part where Diver Mike said he was a NVE, as in a Non-Violent Extremist. Why on Earth would you fear someone who believes that they have no right to interfere in the way you choose to live your life as long as you leave them alone to live theirs? Why fear those that eschew violence? There are certainly aspects of the Anarchist philosophy that attract me, especially the opposition to state-sanctioned coercion. I don’t want to presume to know what Diver Mike defines as ‘Anarchy’, but I suspect that your definition of ‘anarchy’ is several light-years away from his.

    I’m with Dennis…


  12. Scriptwriters for cover stories are abundant in Brussels. Not only can they write what you want to read or hear, but they do it in 56 different languages and dialects, and whats more, it means different things to different countries. Now that’s 3 dimensional spin….!!
    Monday’s meeting of the eu circus may bring an announcement from the Brussels imbecilic eurotwerps that schengen is dead, and that the eu is fatally flawed.

    Watch the news that Russia is building an airbase on the Turkish border. This will be spark that kicks off the biffo.


  13. Interestingly, the biggest threat to the EU, even Hollande has voiced it, is the migrant crisis, funny how the unintended consequence comes and bites you in the arse eh?
    Certainly Merkel didn’t envisage the consequence as she welcomed all and sundry did she?
    So, with many more on the way, what’s to be done?


  14. Bill Casso +1 ,that is why the bible was written,but am afraid upon reaching the bottom,without trust their is no way back!


  15. KFC “funny how the unintended consequence comes and bites you in the arse eh?
    Certainly Merkel didn’t envisage the consequence as she welcomed all and sundry did she?”

    No, she didn’t. But the Americans knew full well that the Germans are the kind of people who accept others in their society. It was the same with the Turks, and prior to the rise of Hitler*, the Jewish people. They had a pleasant lifestyle in Germany, when compared to other cultures, which were anything but kind.

    Germans will always be Germans. Poles will always be Poles: they persecuted their Jewish communities – and would persecute their Syrian refugees should they be foolish enough to enter Poland.

    The Americans understood this full well when flooding Europe with “refugees” (most of whom are young, male, and looking for a better life… not your normal refugee, then.)

    (*A man who stood for everything Germany did not – and paradoxically, stood for Anglo-Saxon virtues),


  16. It’s in the nature of any “bubble” that those inside it are confused by the almost total internal reflection. Add some rather over developed egos that say “I’m right, & there can’t be more than my minds eye can’t see” & you have a pointer to why we have this “Rats Maze” of grasping for explanations, IMO. Those that know, will not be in the Me-jah shouting there crumbling egos off. Some will be feeling smug that they are playing their knowledge of this deceit for gain & others will be resigned to the blindness of the masses & their constant lazy acceptance of the manipulated perception of ignorance foisted upon them.

    The failing, if you wish to see it as such, isn’t the selling of the mystery of the “Market”! It’s in believing in it.

    I can accept that other contributors to these engaging discussions of Johns posts on his blogg, have a very vested interest in playing the “Market Myth”, but from where I stand you are culpable of perpetuating the worst of it’s excesses. Don’t worry though, it’s just acting out a basic biological drive.


  17. @PeterC

    The News Quiz used to be the best thing on R4, but I stopped listening more than a year ago as it seemed to have acquired an ‘agenda’, parrotting particular BBC propaganda on a number of topics, including Putin and The Ukraine. Also, some of the PC-approved panellists simply weren’t up to the job.


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