On New Year’s Eve, the BBCNews Channel finally reached the depths prescribed for it by the corporate political class in recent years: it ran the standard Super ‘Breaking News’ as we watched the passage of midnight in Thailand. Breaking News – Time works.

Except, of course, Time is an illusion. As indeed is Space, because separation is an illusion. That’s why you can have two identical electrons spinning billions of light ‘years’ ‘apart’ – they’re one and the same electron. Apparently.

I am he and you are me and we are all together, goo-gook-a-joob. Nothing is real, it’s all a con….everything is connected to everything else.

So all sport, debt, growth, belief, aspiration, fear, greed, jealousy and promises are pointless. The second most pointless thing of all is news – because news needs Time, and Time is an illusion – but the most pointless thing in the Universe is news about the passage of Time from 11.59.59 to 00.01.01 – because it is news about nothing.

 

Actually, that’s not strictly true: it is news about Now, but while Now doesn’t exist in the material, 3D Universe, it is an achievable state of mind (allegedly). The key to escaping from the material, Time-muddled world is mind over matter. Matter cannot be created or destroyed, so Now must, ergo, be an escape from matter rather than the destruction of it. Or perhaps not.

It all depends on whether you accept Big Bang theory’s claim to have created Time or not. I don’t, because to get an explosion you need Time – at least – as a catalyst, so you can’t have a bang creating it, because where does it get the Time from? The majority of physicists are now coming round to my view on this – which is vaguely reassuring, because it is bleedin’ obvious. These days they say “something” started off Time, and then everything went Bang. If you gave that to Cameron as a line to push, a majority of people would believe him. Personally, I’m of the view – call me pedantic – that we need more detail on the some, thing, and bang assertions: for example, how many things, what sort of things, and why the Bang so soon already?

Bigger still, if matter cannot be created, what did Big Bang produce that wasn’t there already? To which the pointy-heads say “Nothing”. By which, of course, they mean Now, because there is no Time in Now. Let’s face it, it’s profoundly unsatisfactory as a theory.

 

Let’s look at this pictorially. Not Big Bang, but the concept of a Nothing called Now. Let’s imagine 10 seconds, and the point at which 5 stops being 5 and becomes 6:

 

1   2   3   4   5/6   7 8   9   10

 

What seems to happen is that 5.9999999 moves on to 6.0000001, and so the distance really IS Time because it’s measurable at 0.0000002 of a second. But we went to 7 decimal points out of convenience, not rigour: at some point, the sequence goes 9-0-2. But 0 is zero – Nothing. In Nothing, there is no sequence because there is no Time. So you see, counting is a trick. An illusion.

 

We haven’t even started on selected Quantum futures, worm holes or black holes yet; suffice to say at this point that Quantum Physics is a theory full of holes.

Anyway, Happy New Year. Even though there’s nothing to be happy about, the Year isn’t new, and years don’t exist because they’re full of Time. The only thing to be happy about is Nothing, because that’s Now, so there’s nothing to be happy about. Or something.

Last night at The Slog: The Donors’ List in Full