Jeremy Corbyn ignored a Guardian journalist yesterday. He walked fully thirty yards and did not even acknowledge his presence, the bastard.

Jeremy Corbyn is ashamed of his insult to the Royal Family, and has quit the Stop the War campaign. Jeremy Corbyn’s one-time lover pitched up at the marital home and told Mrs Corbyn to leave town. Jeremy Corbyn is facing a Party revolt over air strikes. Jeremy Corbyn’s granddad was an evil monster who ran the local workhouse. Jeremy Corbyn is either a hypocrite or a traitor.

So say the unbiased Sundays Telegraph, Mail, Times, Express and Sun.

The Independent on Sunday deals with policy and says yes, Jeremy Corbyn will renationalise the railways. I think that if he does it à la SNCF, it will be better run than the shambles we have now, and cut prices by 50% to the consumer. We shall see. And the Observer has a well-researched piece informed by former Conservative Minister at Health Norman Lamb, saying the NHS is sinking into financial quicksand and will collapse within two years. This was, of course, always the plan once Jeremy Rhymenge-Slange took over the demolition job.

So two newspapers actually had news in them, and the rest didn’t.

Kristina from Strictly tells the Sun readers of her life, loves and men, but the Mirror says there is Celeb fury over Kristina’s tell-all book. The Star meanwhile reveals the secrets of Kerry’s tattoos, and how her children saved her from suicide. Finally, the Sunday People says Corrie stars are at each other’s throats, and shameless Tina’s boob went bang. War is Hell.

It’s at times like these that I feel so happy we spent all that money on the Leveson Enquiry, because I mean – if we hadn’t – just imagine how appalling our newspapers would be by now. Why….we might have that serial phone-hacking woman still running the Sun….and Murdoch still ordering people around. Hurrah for Leveson. That’s what I say.