I have a great idea that will enable we the unwashed to compete head to head with the shadow banking system. It works like this.

All you have is register a mutual company called Iamworth£1.com.

Then go onto Twitter and tweet ‘I am worth £1: reply saying u join Iamworth£1.com herewith £1, mult sum x 5 & R/T to followers with same instructions I gave u.’ (112 characters)

Thus the 25-2500 followers you have on Twitter can in turn R/T £5 to their followers, who will in turn tweet on £25 to theirs, who will tweet £625 to theirs…ad not quite infinitum: but nevertheless, the total by the time everyone’s done their bit will be roughly 2,200,000,000 x [5 > ~] squared.

All 2.2 billion folks with access to the internet will then be joint owners of a mutual with assets greater than the entire amount of wealth ever created by Homo sapiens.

Now obviously, as the chain joins up, the ‘herewith’ R/T sum grows from £1 to more money than ever existed – but nobody need have any fear, because nothing has been signed, no lawyers were involved…in fact, there hasn’t even been a handshake. So nobody owes anyone anything; but Iamworth£1.com is the biggest money player by a near-incalculable leverage factor.

You see, in the same way that shadowy bankers say “my word is my bond” when engaging in lunatic derivative bets, each member of Iamworth£1.com can be certain that all bets have been netted – and so all members may have promised hugely different amounts, but they’re still equal Members…. as in those lovely old building societies and cooperative insurance companies we used to know.

Here’s why: all the founder of Iamworth£1.com needs to do is compose articles of association creating all Members of equal valuation, regardless of the informal promissory notes offered over time in order to join. A promissory note is a debt, but under the current banking system accepted throughout the world all sums owed are assets to be realised over time, at the discretion of the lender.

The idea of an unredeemable debt being an asset is of course insane, but to quote some old adages, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”, and “Sometimes fire is the only weapon with which to fight fire”.

And here is the bizarre end result that would emerge from my idea: every last Member of Iamworth£1.com would be worth at the very least 470 million times the total worth of Warren Buffet.

So then, who’s up for sending the first tweet?


  1. A not particularly edifying excursion JW, if you don’t mind me saying so in public:

    For some reason there are very few people who will confess to “Charles Bronson is Not My Hero Now, Nor Was He ever Likely to Be, Past Present or Future.”

    If anyone happens to think they might perhaps ever have known such a person, would it be too much to ask that they are, through well distributed and impeccably monitored networks brought immediately to the attentions of the authorities?

    I can’t think of what else to say.


  2. Is this a satire on debt/money creation or could it actually work? Sorry :am a bit concrete especially at this time of night. My husband is a psychiatrist and he says I am borderline autistic. Can’t work out if that is projection, manipulation or diagnosis.


  3. I was trimming my hedge and a bird flew out of the bush tweeting….is that good or bad? and where did that bird get the mobile ‘phone from!!!


  4. Autistic people have problems with relationships, and the problem for the psychiatrist is that every autistic person is different. What I want to say here is that most of us have an area where we are uncomfortable with relationships – the point is to be conscious of this, because an autistic person is not. It’s not so much that someone else says that a person is borderline anything, and it is usual that this is their projection, rather than anything to do with you.

    Autistic people like a routine where everything is ordered and contained – that is to say, there is nothing unexpected that can occur that they might have to deal with. That is to say, discern. Everything has to be pre-discerned and ‘known’.

    One can see this in many bureaucrats, who are in my own terminology, ‘voluntarily autistic’. In doing exactly as they are told, they have allowed others to take full control of the bureaucrat’s actions – the ‘flight’ scenario in fight or flight.

    The difference between the voluntary and the genuine autistic is subtle: the autistic person simply cannot live in any other way. The bureaucrat had a choice, although it is arguable that this choice existed at a time when as a child they weren’t old enough to make it, so it was made for them by someone else and then forgotten.


  5. Hello all , apart from the sub -prime linked garbage from 2003 to 2008 does any care to name a ‘lunatic derivative trade ‘ ?


  6. “Autistic people like a routine where everything is ordered and contained – that is to say, there is nothing unexpected that can occur that they might have to deal with. That is to say, discern. Everything has to be pre-discerned and ‘known’.”

    You pretty much summed up Germany! :)


  7. Jon
    Ask me the same question next March, but in the meantime potential candidates would include bets on euro survival, the gold price since 2013, the wheat crop in 2012, oil in 2015, timber in 2014, and anything Deutsche bet upon since 2009.


  8. Canexpat
    650 UK MPs = 3 banks.
    535 Congressman = 5 sectors: arms, oil, Wall Street, Hitech, media
    736 MPs = 27 sets of national interests
    and 1 Tony Abbott = minus 7.3 million


  9. Pingback: Richer Than Bankers | Sasson Hann

  10. Well now, someone’s got their brain switched on, Mr Stocks! It’s the first time I’ve posted this kind of comment and got a sensible answer. What I will say is that when someone needs predictability, they will find it hard to communicate with others because this might upset their precious predictability.

    Just realize that where you see this expressed in German culture, each culture has its own shortcomings that arise from a need for ‘predictability’. That means they will be unwilling to communicate: just think of Mediamarkt – and their customer service… that is one example of a company doing its best not to communicate. It’s the key to understanding the coroprate mentality.

    They just don’t know it; you do.


  11. Well, we are nearly three quarters of the way through September, I don’t see any of the calamities that were forecast here a while ago, whilst we all know it’s fake, the plates are still spinning, that’s the beauty of a rigged game, and good for the big investors as they know nothing bad will happen, they all make money at our expense.
    On another note, did anyone see the DT article promoting Corbyn’s idea of QE for the people?
    If they just changed the National Lottery so that every week 20 or so folk won say, £500K it would stimulate the economy, wouldn’t do it any good in the long run but, who gives a fig about long term stuff these days?


  12. Gemma……Give me German predictability over Islamic fatalism any day. The word Inshallah drives me nuts. Having the German spring wound rather tight produces some great cars.


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