BREAKING….Chinese blame Corbyn for Shanghai drop as he leads refugees over barbed wire to Berlin in new attempt to get Elm House Cow comfort scandal reopened

Despite yards of Yuan being thrown at it by the Chinese central bank, the Chinese SSEB share index had a horrible overnight, diving by 6.74%, and the Composite by 2.67%. The Comp would’ve breached 3000 without support piling in during the last hour. There can be little doubt that this will be Jeremy Corbyn’s fault by lunchtime. By this evening, the closure of German borders will be down to him too as MI6 and the CIA warn Berlin that Corbyn’s victory at the weekend is encouraging every Islamist to believe that the entire European continent will be forced to adopt Islam once he becomes Prime Minister and invades the mainland.

You might find that amusing, but the reaction to Jez we Can by the British Establishment is no laughing matter. Having invented NVE’s to shut the internet up, Camerlot is already saying that the leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition represents a security threat. Not even Foot managed to extract that from Thatcher, but then had she said such a thing over thirty years ago, she would’ve been a laughing stock.

The oligarch press was ejaculating prematurely throughout Sunday on that and other matters Corbynesque. The Queen has got her bags packed and ordered the helicopter to be turning over 24/7 from now on, everyone aged over 25 in the Labour Party has resigned, Jeremy’s first act in foreign policy will be to bomb the Saudis, there will be a special Labour conference to decide on the best guillotine supplier, everyone who owns their home will be sent to a correction centre in Sunderland, and Mr Corbyn plans to attend his first PMQs clad in a birka.

But in the midst of all this nonsense, there was a quiet announcement that the VIP paedo-murder horror enquiry has been dropped. It was opened after allegations that a girl had died during a paedophile party at the Dolphin Square apartment block in Westminster during 1993.

I said from the outset that I believed this case to be a daft distraction from the Elm House investigation, upon which the ample buttocks of Mayor Silvio Borisconi are sitting still. Others will disagree, but five nobbled police enquiries over forty years suggest otherwise – especially as it is now 2 years and 3 months since Doris Jobsdone said he thought the Met’s Fernbridge revisiting of the Elm House Case was going very well, and he was “fully satisfied with progress”. I’d imagine the next ruse will be to get Chilcot to write the report.

The last time he was asked about progress, the London Mayor said he was “prevented by law from  intervening in the case and thus I cannot comment on your enquiry”, which is odd as BoJo never had any qualms about telling the Police Committee to strangle the Newscorp hacking investigation before it got going. He did say, mind you, that Hackgate was a waste of police time and money, and he was spot on: as he expected, almost everyone got away with it. Hurrah!

But all is well with the world, because the new Dairy Housing, Teaching and Research Facility in the US thinks comfier cows make for much nicer milk: so it’s redesigned the cowbarn accordingly.

“This type of facility does not have any stalls,” said dairy specialist Jeffrey Bewlay, “Instead, cows will be able to lie down in any position they want to within the barn. This has great potential to improve feet and leg health. It will be a tall, open barn designed to maximize natural ventilation, and it will be supplemented with fans and sprinklers for cooling. Twice a day, while the cows are out milking, the bedding will be mechanically stirred and mixed to form a surprisingly dry material with minimal odour where cows can rest.”

But they’re still miles behind George Formby’s favourite haunt Hi-tiddly-i-ty Island where in 1935:

Instead of grass the cows chew pins

and when their milking time begins

the milk comes out in shilling tins

on Hi-tiddly-i-ty Isle

Have a good day.

Yesterday at The Slog: Angela’s Ashes

30 thoughts on “BREAKING….Chinese blame Corbyn for Shanghai drop as he leads refugees over barbed wire to Berlin in new attempt to get Elm House Cow comfort scandal reopened

  1. Let us not forget the lack of ‘so called pure British blood’ in the Queen and her children.

    Migrants no doubt if analysing their DNA without knowing who they were.

    In a sort of blind testing sort of way.

    I find it amusing that a significant number of sloggers who admit to living ex UK bemoam migrants with a consistency that makes even rabid UKIPpers seem positively balanced on the subject of migrants.

    London is a magnet for the young of the world it is unlikely to stop drawing them for periods of their lives for some time or until they get fed up paying exhorbitant rents for inferior accomodation.

    JW I guess you did not encounter the apropriately named Asylum road directly off the Old Kent. Road, about a mile away from the Elephant?

    Would the UK be better off if the upwards of 2 million expats were exchanged for a similar number of minumum wage migrant workers.

    I for one think it would cause the UK to seize up and the whining to rise to another level albeit a different tune.

    Change is away of life..

    Very few of us who are over say 45 would have aspired to have typing skills as a worthwhile skill.

    Online systems and the internet, email etc are just symptoms of a changing world.

    Travel and comms have radically changed the way of life to an ever growing % of the world.


  2. When the present round of political posturing around the election of a wild card candidate is over on both sides of the barn, it will be interesting to see how long Jeremy Carbine can resist the temptation to shoot himself in the foot. Needless to say, the blue cows will be milking the situation for all they are worth (very little); he could find himself rapidly put out to pasteurisation if he can’t avoid being grassed.


  3. York Central Labour MP Rachael Maskell made a speech to an audience of left-wing radicals and immigrants this weekend, on Britain accepting migrants and asylum seekers.
    She said “20,000 is not enough, 30,000 is not enough, we must keep going until we reach saturation point. What does it matter if we have to wait an extra week for a hospital appointment or our class sizes are full, our cities are fuller, or we have to pay more into the system”


  4. I assume you are referring to Drone Strike joke which seems v funny to me too.
    Meanwhile &talking of days to bury bad news Mr Patrick Rock appears briefly in court today to answer charges re child abuse imagery on No10 computer!!


  5. I believe Mr Corbyn was spotted eating in a Chinese restaurant so the link is clear and rumour has it he was seen talking to a Muslim in Islington. Truly subversive .


  6. Much more subversive than mock charity atlantic bridge of Fox / werritty notoriety &philanthropist (weasel word?) Poju Zabludowicz


  7. Mr ward. Australia ? Mr Turnbull seems rather “brighter” than Mr Abbot. Oz liberal party is v ruthless, will horrid Gina Rinehart start her own party soon


  8. Check this bad boy out: Its from Conservative Central and it ‘s about the New Labour Leader. He’s a threat to our national security…no less.


  9. “I find it amusing that a significant number of sloggers who admit to living ex UK bemoam migrants”

    It’s a numbers game mate.
    It is not rocket science to advance the argument beyond schoolboy absolutes.


  10. It’s all connected, John. The establishment and their poodle Cameron are terrified Corbyn and Watson are going to blow the whistle on the whole lot – from blackmail in high places to foreign wars fought on false pretences. I just hope Corbyn doesn’t make the mistake of trying to play the media’s game and sticks to his principles. Interesting times ahead, I think!


  11. That experimental dairy farm keeps the cows fecal matter from running off into streams which is good news for the fish.
    Corbyn is for old fashioned turd herding.


  12. Being an immigrant yourself, you have something of a nerve suggesting Britain is better off without their millions of émigré fellow Brits and with their replacement by mainly unskilled, uneducated and often aggressive people – many of whom want to impose their own way of life on the indigenous society and who are contributing disproportionately to the prison populations of Europe. One has become tediously used to hearing such talk. Perhaps you would enlighten us with details of exactly what are the advantages you have in mind? And why do YOU think so many Brits are leaving their native land?

    No one needs educating about how life “changes” but when the latter are not compulsory, we don’t all need to like or accept them.


  13. Sudden mass immigration (for whatever reason) into an already creaking and fragile infrastructure makes absolutely no sense and is totally pointless. Like a cancer it will eventually not only destroy the host, but all of those who requested help in the first place.

    So basically we have an agenda that is designed to usher in a complete societal breakdown.


  14. @Tom
    That’s what Cameron means by national security and the threat Corbyn represents…. Could be fun if the beans get spilled through the protection of parliamentary privilege. Jolly japes !


  15. Brain dead Brit politician wants to reduce us to 3rd world living standards, never mind the overpopulation.
    Brain dead US politician is worried Guam will tip over & capsize & harm the corals through overpopulation.

    Our political system is not fit for purpose.


  16. KJH
    you do spout a lot of old tosh. just like corbyn etc. another doo gooder supporting infidel fornicators helping themselves to my way of life.


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