What if we applied German self-pity to ourselves?

56% of the German public are unhappy about the Greek bailout. Bless.

This is how the circa €82bn of ‘Greek bailout’ monies will be spent, according to yesterday’s eurogroupe press release:

€29.7bn to repayment of debt capital (just under half of that to the ECB, which doesn’t need it)

€17.7bn to service debt interest (racked up by bailouts 1 & 2)

€27bn to recapitalise Greek banks (destroyed by ECB blackmail this year, says the IMF)

€7bn on more banking liquidity for Greek economy (8% of the bailout total)

So 1 euro in 12 will go to help for the Greeks. 11 out of 12 will go to ensuring that the eurogannets help themselves.

This is what a YouGov survey among Germans discovered this weekend:

yougovgermansJust so we’re clear here, Heini and Brunhilde Schmidt think this deal is bad for them.

Total bailout going on humanitarian aid for the Greek people: 0%

Total bailout to be paid for out of German taxpayers’ pockets: 0%

Plato said that the fast lane to fascist dictatorship was an uninformed electorate. He was not wrong.

Slog Spiritual Megaresearch Inc has also been polling some key audiences. We’ll interview anyone – especially if they’re dead as a result of German lebensraum neurosis.

To this end, a series of Focus Séances were conducted this weekend.

27,000 wiped out Jewish families in Berlin attended one of our séances yesterday. 34% of cadavers said they thought Krystallnacht had been bad for them, and 66% of those shipped to Buchenwald felt the Final Solution had been very bad indeed for them, but not too bad for A G Farben.

Of 71,000 dead people bombed to shit in Coventry and London between 1940 and 1942, 100% thought it was a bit off that Germany had received Marshall Aid after the war, but not deemed it necessary to pay reparations to a Britain that struggled until 1970 to rehouse its population.

Further, among 18,000 Greeks starved by the Germans after 1941 and 23,000 RAF pilots killed during 1940 by the Luftwaffe, 100% wondered why the German war debt had been forgiven, but theirs hadn’t.

One could argue that the Germans need a reality check. I would argue that some of us would settle for a cheque from the Germans, plus a guarantee that they might pipe down and start acknowledging their role in supplying defective munitions and submarines to Greece, taking bribes in order to guarantee ClubMed eurozone membership, making profits from bailouts, inventing drivel about the “cost” of defaults for Germany, pushing forward federalism while simultaneously lying to the British people in 1975, and breaking its promise to the IMF about working to make Greek debt sustainable by 2020.

Basil Fawlty was wrong: it is high time more of us started mentioning the War, and the FiskalUnion Fourth Reich agenda.

I’m going to go and lie down quietly somewhere now, and hope that when I wake up, a few more million Europeans will be ready to tell the Germans where to stick their flaccid sausages.

Oh – and Cammers: don’t even bother, mate. You’ll be farting against Stürm und Drang.