At the End of the Day

Over the years, I have slowly shifted from a grudging admiration for Britain’s royal family to one of distaste for most of its members. When you meet him off-set, for example, Prince Philip is an unconscionably rude man with an ill-deserved sense of superiority. For much of his married life, his morals have been less than exemplary. His son Andrew is made of the same stuff – anti-free speech bordering on neoliberal Nazi. Edward is a self-pitying prat and Charles – while years ahead of is time in some respects – is going to be a disaster if he ever makes it to King. His grubby deal with Camerlot about gagging orders on Royal peccadillo scandals was a new low in abuse of privilege.

Three members of the Windsor Firm are its troika of potential salvation: the Queen herself, who if nothing else works hard and knows her stuff; Princess Anne, who has consistently shown herself over five decades to be a genuine egalitarian; and Prince William, who has both a serious and common-touch air about him.

When it comes to abolishing the royal family, however, I would make three simple points:

1. President Blair, President Cameron, and President Clegg

2. Don’t chuck out the baby with the bathwater: the Royals could – if less exposed to tabloid sanctimony – become a major money-earner for Britain abroad…and no, I don’t mean sleazy export deals à l’Andrew, I mean via subtle tourism marketing

3. Murdoch wants to destroy the royal family. This is reason enough to hang onto them until such time as the Pope is no longer a Catholic.

I end with that clincher because the Aussie Toff has been at it again. The Sun yesterday ran this truly base, pernicious and utterly false bit of Turdochism about the Royals “being taught” the Nazi salute in 1933.

What the kids are doing in this clip is mocking Hitler and his silly Führerprinzip throwback bollocks. Although the (mercifully abdicated) Edward VIII thought Dolfie a thoroughly good bloke – and was a thorn in Churchill’s side throughout the Second World War – Bertie Windsor (later George VI) and his wife the late Queen Mother were implacably anti-Nazi.

Rupert Murdoch and the backside-output he attracts as hacks have devoted their sadly twisted and bitter lives to the misuse of erroneous facts about Britain. Roop’s father was an even bigger liar than his molly-coddled, privileged and privately educated dingo of a son (his treatise on Gallipoli dissembled on an industrial scale) while Merdeschlock Jr has traded nationalities (and wives) in his boundless pursuit of the sort of power that he feels might compensate for the tepid vacuum at his rotten core.

So here is another reason why having a monarch in the UK is – at least for the time being – a crackerjack idea. The Queen is a mediaeval hangover from the days before Citizen sovereignty. She finds herself working with a Prime Minister keen to tear up Magna Carta and replace it with a Carta Album for the munneeed.

She meets the PM once a week, and it’s a meeting Dave can’t refuse. This is how I’d like the meeting to start next Wednesday evening:

HMTQ: Ah Mr Cameron, delightful to see you again. I’d like if I may to stick to one issue this week: why do you surround yourself with the ghastly accolytes of Mr Murdoch, and are you merely venal and stupid like your late father, or actively setting out to insult the Monarch?

PM: Ah, er, um…

HMTQ: That’s all very well Prime Minister, but I’ve been studying some extant Constitutional gobbets with various historians less ignorant than yourself, and it seems that I have a sound basis for committing you to the Tower for treason.

PM: Hahhaahaha, very droll mum…but hahaha I think…

HMTQ: So you do occasionally think then Mr Cameron? Well think on this – you are my eighteenth Prime Minister, and trust me…when it comes to f**k-you politics, I am not Alexis Tsipras and you are not Mario Draghi.

PM: Your Majesty, I…..

HMTQ: …you Prime Minister are here to serve my People, not a shower of oiks who peddle lies. I shall expect to see a Page 1 retraction by The Sun regarding the insult to my father and mother. Tell me, did you want to stay for dinner?

PM: Regrettably mum, I have a previous engagement.

HMTQ: Good, as you are not invited anyway. Now get out of my sight.

I somehow doubt this is how it will go. But we can dream, can’t we?


Risking the belief among Sloggers that I may finally have lost all my prized merps* collection, I announce tonight that I am 4-square behind Jeremy Corbyn’s candidature for the Lady Lierbership.

Mr Corbyn and I share almost no political views, but that matters nought when the issue is one of A Proper Opposition. The Ed Miller Band opposed neoliberal Toryism in the style of the Polish cavalry’s resistance to the Nazi invasion in 1939…minus only the valour. Every sound and functional democracy needs an Opposition prepared to call out amorality regardless of the electoral consequences. At every level, Corbyn fits that brief.

Other reasons for supporting him include:

1. He is incorruptible, & the lowest expenses user in the Commons

2. The Labour Big Beasts are terrified of him

3. He has the right ethical equipment to bring the young back to politics

4. Under the current electoral stitch-up system he stands as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as Percy & Pamela Pigeon here at Sloggers’ Roost

5. I strongly suspect he will reveal the Prime Minister as the empty space he is

6. Tribalist he may be, I’ve read what he says; my hunch is that he could unite a radical anti-privilege Opposition to the point of it becoming The Resistance. I don’t think he could form a sensible Government to save his life…but he might just save British liberty and democracy.

On that last point, here is a young woman with whom I think he could form a crucial alliance:

Whatever else happens of an unpredictable nature, Mhaire Black is going to be a massive influence on post-globalist governance. She embodies all the good things about caring Britain with none of the fluffy bollocks. And above all – at the tender age of 20 – she has more wisdom than a thousand spin doctors.

In the above maiden speech, she bowls a two-wicket maiden over, while extending a magnanimous hand to defeated Scottish Labour. She has certainly bowled me over. She will do the same for many others currently suspicious of politicians. Seven cheers for her.

*Effete southerners may not be familiar with the word ‘merps’, but in my grim Northern youth it was the argot of choice for marbles. For example, Geordie phrase for inadvertant loss of colourful glas spheres circa 1958: “Way-aye, worve lost oor merps doon the drinny”.

Earlier at The Slog: Mario Dali’s Tales of the Drivelbank

21 thoughts on “At the End of the Day

  1. A young lady had the chance of a lifetime during the week – and missed it. The Duck of Edinburgh was being led about by his handlers and he asked a trio of young girls, “and who do you sponge off?” Couldn’t just one of them had batted back with, “the same as you, sir [you crusty old bag of spite] – the British taxpayer”. (The option in brackets would, perhaps, be just a little too much to expect of well brought up young gels I suppose).


  2. I was at school with Jeremy Corbyn – he was a year ahead of me. Like our host, I do not agree with him politically – and didn’t in those days over 50 years ago. What I can say is that Jerry was one of the most open, honest, sincere and caring people I have known: and I have no reason to believe he does not still have the same degree of integrity.


  3. A. E. Housman (1859–1936). A Shropshire Lad. 1896.

    I. From Clee to heaven the beacon burns


    FROM Clee to heaven the beacon burns,
    The shires have seen it plain,
    From north and south the sign returns
    And beacons burn again.

    Look left, look right, the hills are bright, 5
    The dales are light between,
    Because ’tis fifty years to-night
    That God has saved the Queen.

    Now, when the flame they watch not towers
    About the soil they trod, 10
    Lads, we ’ll remember friends of ours
    Who shared the work with God.

    To skies that knit their heartstrings right,
    To fields that bred them brave,
    The saviours come not home to-night 15
    Themselves they could not save.

    It dawns in Asia, tombstones show
    And Shropshire names are read;
    And the Nile spills his overflow
    Beside the Severn’s dead. 20

    We pledge in peace by farm and town
    The Queen they served in war,
    And fire the beacons up and down
    The land they perished for.

    ‘God save the Queen’ we living sing, 25
    From height to height ’tis heard;
    And with the rest your voices ring,
    Lads of the Fifty-third.

    Oh, God will save her, fear you not:
    Be you the men you ’ve been, 30
    Get you the sons your fathers got,
    And God will save the Queen.


  4. We have a declawed and muzzled benign dictatorship to offset our dysfunctional democracy, it could be worse. I will now enter the land of nod with this picture in mind: the queen in night attire (I believe that thought has been decriminalised) lies abed scanning her laptorp, reading the Slog. She remarks to her not so cuddly old curmudgeon: ‘Gawd, you know this Ward is a bleeding mind reader!’ Sweet dreams..


  5. I have always been in two minds about the U.K. monarchy. The idea of a President Blair is truely horrifying, but I wonder if in practice he would have acted any differently had he been head of state as well as Prime Minister. His behaviour while in power suggested that he believed in his own ‘Divine Right’. On the other hand, the very existence of a hereditary monarch seems to legitimise the hereditary principle which I find abhorrent, regardless of how benign any particular monarch may be. Quite apart from the risk of an Andrew becoming sovereign, the endowing of different rights through birth seems anathema in any just polity. It is a short step from this to an institutionalised caste system. Perhaps the Eire approach would be preferable. I would love to see a popular non-partisan figure as head of state. I’m sure fellow Sloggers will have suggestions.

    As to Mr Ward’s endorsement of Corbyn, I notice that another of my favourite bloggers, Craig Murray, is also supporting Corbyn’s bid for the Labour leadership. When those that believe in decency are of one mind perhaps the future is not as bleak as it appears.


  6. You Poms think you have it bad. Those royals are all yours. Keep them!!
    Thanks to a series of manipulative a*se licking prime ministers we still have some who are kowtowing to them thousands of miles away. Why are Australians still subsidising their ‘tours’? So the Fat Baby and the Skinny Mother (I wish someone would feed that girl. Her legs are like kebab sticks), patted a bilby. So what? At least the bilby had the sense to run away,
    We had the appalling situation in 1975 where the Queen knew in Britain that her representative here in Australia was about to sack the elected government before anyone in Australia did.
    At least a few slips by Philip and a few old photos that slipped past the PR machine show them for what they really are.
    Elitist bludgers of the first water.


  7. Confidantes of mongrel Murdoch are published as saying that the publisher intends to gain a knighthood for services to the Commonwealth. Her Majesty must be thinking that a Gillette schimitar with a silver salver would be more appropriate for an exhibition of patriotism, by execution at the Tower of London.


  8. An MP with a moral compass? He won’t last long. He will be a fish out of water. Ostracised. The Whitehall mandarins will do for him in no time. Shame, but to join the club one must be morally vacuous, devoid of all consideration for others and be utterly self-serving, then, and only then, you have a chance of rising through the ranks.
    Anybody who is unsure that these are the requirements for govt. need only look at the current incumbents for re-assurance.


  9. I hope Jeremy Corbyn wins so we can final assign Labour to the dustbin of history. The rise of UKIP in Northern England and the SNP in Scotland shows that is already happening.


  10. The monarchy is a truly important, indeed essential component of the British constitution. Unfortunately it doesn’t work as it should. The queen was too young, inexperienced and naive when she took the throne and was cut, dried and packaged by the political elite losing almost all the residual power her father had. Not that it is surprising since monarchical power had been steadily reduced since Charles the second, each ensuing monarch losing a bit more. Not that they were particularly competent. Indeed the first world war was more accident than design and the blame largely rested with the inadequacy of the European royals, although there is little doubt Germany would likely have eventually gone to war in her attempts to break the British Empire of its stranglehold on global trade.

    The monarch did retain one essential power and is the reason that the police, judiciary, armed forces and even politicians swear loyalty to the monarch and not parliament. The monarch is meant to be the ultimate protector of the constitution, the backstop to bar politicians from unilaterally taking over and imposing their will rather than the rule of law. The only example of this was Sir John Kerr in Australia when he stepped in to stop Whitlam from acting unconstitutionally. I doubt it will ever happen again and I am quite certain the queen would never have the courage to perform that role should it be required, nor would any of her current successors.


  11. JW,watched your link re the miss black video the statement “the wisdom of youth” came to mind in this case for the wrong reasons! there has been in the past MP,s who have been honest,few i know but all have been ostracised into oblivion, your either with us or agin us. Corbyn is another man i,ve never heard of but thats probably as my interest in politics is zero,haven,t voted for over twenty years,we put our faith in the new messiah only to be disappointed yet again,its not worth the candle. As for queeny she has also sold us down the river for the past twenty years,a well outmoded hierarchy,it would be the wall for the lot of them,yours depressed.


  12. I believe the Queen has already had that chat with Mr Cameron hence the release& attack on the Queen herself(it’s usually another family member) after all these years ,but the neoliberals’ want a small state & privatising the beaches & waters around Britain is essential to economic growth,let alone the estates & parkland own by the monarch state & obviously the jewels & other silver that could be auctioned off,their will be a next monarchy but not for to long for sovereignty has not part in the neoliberal world.


  13. The monarchy system we have is ideal and most elegant. The monarch himself may be good, bad, mediocre or anonymous. It matters not too much. The point of our monarchy is to act as the last resort, a rallying point for the people when Westminster gets above itself.
    It may only happen once every 3-400 years, or it may happen in 2018, but you will be glad of the monarchy when the time comes. The monarch is a servant of the nation.
    I don’t really care about those 4th, 5th, 20th in line to the throne; they are used and abused by the media for other reasons. I don’t really care if they are wealthy or poor, they are a waste of column inches.
    I suspect that the current monarch asks tough questions of the erstwhile PM, weekly. I suspect that she knows very well that the entire UK financial system is very precarious indeed, and that a goodly number of *ankers should be currently residing at her majesty’s pleasure. I also suspect that when the UK taxation system goes logarithmic, the monarch will not be shy in coming forward (especially if she reads my letters)

    It would not surprise me to know that Chookie’s “getta flippin’ move on”, and the Nahzzzi salute home movies suited someone else’s agenda. It was interesting to note that photos also surfaced of Sooty and Sweep doing exactly the same -and they were far older than 7 and 3 respectively.


  14. try 2
    QE 2 Doing a nazi salute as a child… early 30s family film.

    It’s a pity Sid of the BuN did not mention the Holodomor, the forced starvation of several million in the Ukraine ..By Stalin and his Bolshovicks!
    It was getting up to full strength at the time of the child’s royal Roman salute … 25000 a day were dying half of whom were children.
    Mud cocks arse licks are a disgrace not to point it out to him..made himself look a right ignorant prat!


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