GREEK REFERENDUM: SLOG TOLD OXIS ‘HAVE WON’. SURREAL HYSTERIA BREAKS OUT IN BRUSSELS & BERLIN

oxiTwo research sources and a third who claims to have seen exit poll returns tell me this afternoon that the OXI vote has scored a comfortable win in the Greek referendum today.

“If the Greeks vote no, they can kiss membership of the euro goodbye” said Martin Schulz at 10.00 am Greek time.

By 3pm Greek time, several media were opining that the NO vote had probably carried the day.

“If the Greeks vote no, we will not abandon them” said Martin Schulz at 4 pm Greek time.

It’s a game of two halves with yer Germans, innit? You can set yer watch by ’em.

News is coming in that EU Parliament President Martin Schulz has been hit by a thunderbolt. People close to the scene described a booming voice from above the clouds saying “Armageddon is my job squarehead, so don’t get too big for your jackboots”.

“You have to give one thing to Herr Schulz” said passer-by Dimitri Yassalopulous, “he didn’t miss a beat. But his beard looks like a sea anemone.”

In what may be a related incident, Wolfgang Schäuble abducted himself as early returns suggested a clear OXI win. German police have surrounded the house where he is holding himself to ransome. Herr Schäuble’s voice has been heard shouting, “If the Oxis win, Schäuble  gets it”. In the light of this development, Frau Merkel has begged the Greek people to vote Yes for humanitarian reasons.

Meanwhile over in Holland, Jerry Lee Drivelbloke has been attacked by a swarm of moths living in his wallet. The eurogroupe chair told reporters, “I made to open the wallet, and they just went for me. Now all my euros have holes in them.” Dutch police said the moths’ passports showed that they were of Greek origin and there were lovely coloured circles all over Mr Drivelbloke’s lawn in fact one could quite clearly hear the grass grow.

“In der afternoonsh are the guysh often the coffee shopsh vishiting,” commented police sergeant Honk Vonk Schmeerdonk, “with shometimes hilarioush reshultsh”.

Spanish PM Mariano Ahoy said a NO vote would mean all future negotiations would be tortuous. But Italian bat Mario Dragula said Senor Ahoy had got it wrong, and in fact all future Greek negotiators would be tortured.

The case continues.

83 thoughts on “GREEK REFERENDUM: SLOG TOLD OXIS ‘HAVE WON’. SURREAL HYSTERIA BREAKS OUT IN BRUSSELS & BERLIN

  1. Breaking news…..
    ‘Police in Liverpool have arrested 3 0f 4 well known Scouse terrorists.
    Bin Snort-in and Bin Deal-in and Bin-thieving.
    There is no sign of Bin Work-in’

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  2. yes it does seem rather odd that a bookie paid up if it’s such a close call unless the result is predetermined!?

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  3. “Mr. Drivelbloke went on to say that he was aamaazed at how the moths ate the country of origin letter on every one”
    Congratulations to Greece.

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  4. Amazing – it took years of negotiations to pass the Maastricht Treaty to bring about the Euro – yet seemingly Shulz thinks he can overrule all that overnight.

    I still think, armed with this mandate, a deal will be done and debts renegotiated. ZH has an interesting explanation as to why Germany will have to find €35bn just to cover the EFSF losses.

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  5. John – i think you have this bottom frontwards:
    he is holding himself to ransome. Herr Schäuble’s voice has been heard shouting, “If the Oxis win, Schäuble gets it”. In the light of this development, Frau Merkel has begged the Greek people to vote Yes for humanitarian reasons.

    Shurely this should read “….No for humanitarian reasons” – ed

    This could be a tempting opportunity to get his wheelchair/tank removed from herchancellery lawn.

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  6. Project Fear 2015 has failed. The Neoliberals are on their way out, this way to OXI please gentlemen. And Mutti, Stasi clone. The cradle of democracy has reaffirmed it today.

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  7. You are not funny. You are just plain dull. Always.
    ps Where’s the link you usually include in every dreary post ?

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  8. theguv
    As an election agent in a former life (three consecutive elections in the U.K.), you never know the outcome until those lines of ballot papers are lining up alongside each other, and the trend becomes visible. You can ‘feel’ the mood on the hustings, but you can never be sure until it’s all over. I felt the change in mood during the ’92 U.K. when Major ‘unexpectedly’ won. This following the Kinnock Sheffield rally the preceding Thursday. The bookie’s were simply stupid that’s all.

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  9. JW, you are right, totally, about every opinion you have postulated, especially about god being pure fantasy. I now agree. After all, what kind of sick ‘god’ wishes to see children starve? Millions dying every year. See millions sodomized by ‘Holy’ men…for two thousand years? See women raped for thousands of years? See the current population drink poisoned water and food? Breathe poisoned air?

    god, not worthy of a Capital letter, and all the angels, are more perverted and twisted than the Maquis de Sade…if they exist. And If they do exist, they’re more addicted to porn, pain and suffering, than Satan is…if that exists.

    I hope the Greeks suffer, intolerably. They will…. after voting yes to austerity. ‘god’ will forgive me for my impure thoughts!

    I hope the whole population on the planet suffers, intolerably. They will. Not me.

    I piss on this evil god that claims to have invented Love.. Absolutely no idea what Love is!

    You, however, aside from being the best writer I have ever read, really do care about Humanity.

    Sadly, you are pissing into an evil storm.

    The good news is, your writing gets better every day, and I truly enjoy reading you.

    Have a nice day.

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  10. Even the BBC are now having to admit it looks like a solid OXI win 60% to 40%.
    The common purpose trolls must be having a seizure.

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  11. OXI over NAI.
    60%+ over 40%-.
    Hope over Terror.
    Smile over Frown.
    Joy over Sadness.
    Light over Darkness.
    Δημοκρατία over Δικτατορία.
    Αλέξης over Wolfie.
    Freedom over Slavery.
    Bravery over Cowardice.
    Pride over Humiliation.
    Hellas (‘Ελληνες) over Greece (Γραικοί).
    Ecumenical Europe over Neoliberal Neofascist Suprastate.

    John a BIG THANK YOU for all your efforts to inform and enlighten.

    To MOST of the commentators a BIG THANK YOU for your support and help.

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  12. WAD, +2.

    I also thought, as no doubt many did, that article was brilliant.

    JW, you are mt hero!

    god can take a flying fu*k at a rolling donut.

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  13. Phaedrus, your comments are always brilliant. Encountering the well-informed who comment on the Slog is another treat. Thank you..

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  14. No one seems to be mentioning the oil and gas wealth soon to be realised around Greece. Then it wasn’t when they screwed Cyprus either. What if they had control of their own destiny, they could have a sovereign wealth fund instead of a mountain of debt and someone else squandering their resources – that would never do.

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  15. Oh dear ,oh dear. Another Eu referendum with the wrong result, and no chance of a second go to get it right, because this is Greece and not Ireland, which aligned itself with Germany in WW11,or France that surrendered in 1940. You can be sure that the ECB will still refuse to act like an independent grown up central bank, thus forcing the Greek administration to nationalise its banks and create a parallel currency, with some difficulty. Six months of chaos, but the German and French taxpayers will, in due course, have their revenge on Merkel and Hollande for dumping the cost of the 50 percent haircut on them, which is what the games theory guy was going for all along. When CMD calls our referendum, he has to explain not just uncontrolled immigration, but membership of a club whose bosses do not understand the rules of cricket.Thankyou Greece.

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  16. @Phaedrus our neighbours kid is flying out on holiday first thing and asked me what to expect? If it’s how I feel deep down it is the joy of possibly a new Greece and a new Europe. Well done coming to visit also soon!

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  17. Congratulations to the Greek Nation, your decision is a historic one. I hope with all my heart that it is not a decision you will regret. I am looking forward, with indecent relish, to “Gotterdammerung II” to watch how the mighty fall. Good work John.

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  18. Thanks Guv’. I note this was last Wednesday so I guess they were closing a book whilst still ahead. Only Paddy knows!

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  19. Looking at the bigger picture, there’s a gentleman in Moscow whose just given his white Persian cat an extra saucer of milk, this evening.

    Now I wonder if Greece will be voting with the numpties in Europe to maintain sanctions against Russia? I’m sure the Israelis and Saudis will need to stock up on the Imodium when Vlad gets a couple of military bases in the Aegean and starts drilling and building pipelines.

    Your move Barry/Hilary/Jeb.

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  20. The Merkolator is heading to France, where tomorrow she will smack Hollande’s legs for buggering things all up. Djin Dieselbloom is going to run away and it is rumoured that Schauble has managed to extricate his head from his jacksie as he kissed it goodbye

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  21. After such a long, long wait – more in hope than expectation – it almost seems too good to be true! Can we really expect TPTB to gracefully lie down and concede defeat? On past performance, this old cynic very much doubts it ……

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  22. Democracy reasserts itself, at last, thanks to a brave Greek Prime Minister and a heroic Greek population. Every journey begins with the first step; perhaps we can now start to walk away from the madness, no matter how slowly or falteringly. Well done Greece and καλή τύχη!

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  23. I should know better but there it is.
    In online dailyfail land this is what matters…
    “First family outing: William, Kate and a rather curious George are all smiles as royals attend Princess Charlotte’s christening”

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Lets see how this turns out before you all start celebrating. I think in the long run the NO vote will benefit Greece but they are in for a rough road. Next the bail in 30%?

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  25. If this poll is accurate, then unfortunately it is a huge missed opportunity for Greece – a missed opportunity to kick out a government that has utterly failed, and a missed opportunity to begin the process of reforming the Greek economy.
    Until there is change from within, Greece will continue its slide towards poverty.

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  26. @lancas
    Funnily enough, I always associate Golem with “Feet Of Clay”!
    RIP Terry Pratchett: who can guess what his next Discworld novel would have parodied?
    WAD

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  27. Yannis Varoufakis has shown himself to be an intelligent economist, and knows game theory backwards. Mutti with her Stasi background didn’t stand a chance.

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  28. i failed my driving test in liverpool, did everything right but i failed on reversing through a shop window. im ere all week!

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  29. I notice that Merkel and Hollande have decided on a meeting of EZ leaders on Tuesday; I bet they have! I wonder who got the toilet roll contract.

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  30. I for one could not be happier that I was wrong (if the exit polls are correct). I suspect that there will be months of wrangling as the Eunatics try to get the “right result”. Rapid and bold action is called for -Go Greece!

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  31. Today, the Greek people launched themselves into the abyss. They deserve kudos for having the sheer guts to say “No” to impossible demands. But will the Troika, in retaliation, become even more petty and spiteful? The EU, as it stands, is both unwieldy and totally unaccountable. Its rationale desperately needs a re-think if it is to survive.

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  32. Good to drop in on such a special night – it feels a bit like when Sunderland won the FA cup. Speaking of football – in a lunatic way, this kind of sums it up for me :

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  33. French crowd in Place de la République celebrate Greek “No” vote with a new song:
    – Il a la classe! Il a la classe! Il a la classe notre Tsipras!
    – Et qu’est-ce qu’il glande? Et qu’est-ce qu’il glande? Et qu’est-ce qu’il glande François Hollande?
    – À la poubelle! À la poubelle! À la poubelle Madame Merkel!
    – Il est parti! Il est parti! Il est parti le FMI!
    – Elle est plus là! Elle est plus là! Elle est plus là la Troïka!
    Rough translation:
    He’s got class! He’s got class! He’s got class, our Tspiras!
    And what’s he messing about at? And what’s he messing about at? And what’s he messing about at, François Hollande?
    In the garbage! In the garbage! In the garbage, Madam Merkel!
    It is gone! It is gone! It is gone, the IMF!
    It’s no longer there! It’s no longer there! It’s no longer there, the Troika!

    Spanish right-wing government gets fidgety, calls urgent meeting next week, as Podemos (the upstart leftist party) hails Greek vote.

    It’s going to be an interesting few weeks!

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  34. @WAD
    Have to say – me too – Can’t see the word ‘golem’ without thinking of Sam Vimes. Loved Pratchett’s take on things. His take on multiculturalism in Thud was priceless.

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  35. John, the Germans may be stubborn but they are not stupid. When faced with a complete default or a comprise on the debt they will take the latter. Also this stops the credit default swaps from being exercised. Second, as far as I can tell there is nothing to stop the Greeks from printing euros and staying in the union. Contrary to belief their euros may be discounted but they will trade due to lawsuits in the EU” courts.They will file lawsuits that can delay anything until all is accepted. Greece is now in the driver seat as long as they are reasonable. Most of Greek debt is with the EU central bank and can be easily adjusted with no one filling the pain. In the U.S. most fed debt is with the central bank and can be simply written off with no consequences except the problem of soaking up the excessive currency. This can be done thru taxation. The danger to all are derivatives held by the banks. Not govt. debt. Issue is will Central banks/Politian’s bail out the banks again. This is the true issue.

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  36. If the European Commission and the ECB decide to have Greece shot (Grexit) to maintain discipline, Alexis Tsipras will have to abandon his preferred game plan and reintroduce the drachma. In this scenario, when it becomes obvious that Greece hasn’t actually disappeared in a puff of smoke or the heavens crashed down destroying the entire world, it will be game over for the euro, at least. Various other countries could then start to reclaim the dignity of self-determination and perhaps history could take a new direction. In five years time, the Greeks could be credited with having saved us all from chaos again. Hopefully, they will be able to see their position as an opportunity in the wider historical perspective; the pain will be real enough in the short term, it’s pretty bad anyway, but the eventual gain would be unquantifiable. The BBC are still overplaying the naughty step rhetoric, which is quite unforgivable, and no doubt the International Dirty Tricks Dept will be working overtime for the foreseeable, but a blow for freedom has been struck which gladdens the heart.

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  37. After having reported the ‘disastrous’ outcome of a NO vote, the BBC has reported confusion, division é CV

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  38. The BBC are still overplaying the naughty step rhetoric, which is quite unforgivable, and no doubt the International Dirty Tricks Dept will be working overtime for the foreseeable

    Spot on Hieronimusb

    If there is one emotion shared by the Euro Elites in Brussels, Berlin, Frankfurt & Paris on this glorious Monday morning it could well be ‘bring me the head of Jean Claude Trichet’. It was thanks to his actions that the ECB endorsed the ‘privatise the gains, socialise the losses’ cardinal rule of crony capitalism, when he initiated the process by which the massive losses incurred by private banks in relation to Greek debt were not ‘restructured’ at their expense, but were transferred into the the hands of the ECB and the IMF- who in turn then turned the screws on the Greek government for half a decade.

    http://uk.businessinsider.com/greece-referendum-result-and-the-meaning-of-debt-2015-7?r=US

    The OXI! vote signals the end of that process, and possibly the start of serious fractures within the Eurozone, as one thing is for certain- at Tuesday’s ’emergency meeting’ of Eurozone Finance Ministers, Eurofudge will no longer be on the menu.

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  39. The Greek people, or at leat 60% of them, have won a great battle against the odds. Just as their Spartan forefathers, led by Leonidas fought a great battle to the death, with 300 stalwarts at the Pass of Thermopylae against the Persian hordes of Xerxes.
    That battle was a delaying tactic ,as is this recent one. The war continues against the Dictatorship of the EU and the shadowy financiers in the backround.
    Alex Tsipars has wrongfooted the Eurocrats by calling a snap referendum. This did not allow the suborned main stream media presstitutes to get up a full head of steam in their propaganda and fear mongering.
    Maybe someone had a word in his earhole on his recent trip to St Petersburg.
    Not to be forgotten, the Russian Orthodox Church derived from Greece and there are cultural parallels and soon strong economic ties.
    Greece has options, but it will be a long and difficult journey to re-assert their Sovereignity.
    Bravo Greece, the birthplace of Democracy has once again shown the way for Western civilization and its fragile freedoms..

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  40. You completely missed the 5-a-day Karshittian articles.And I really wonder if there’s anyone here who can explain ahy the Mail does this.What’s in it for them?.

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  41. But can they stop Greece printing & coining Drachmas?. They might not have the presses to do it but I bet Russia & China have.After all,it’s bizness,innit?.

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  42. Yes,but the Spartans were betrayed by a Greek who led the Persians over a mountain path to enable the Spartans to be attacked from the rear.And the soldiers – from another Greek city – who had been trusted with the defense of that path fled in panic.

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  43. Salford Lad, the 300 Spartans were backed up by 5000 mercenaries. After wielding a heavy sword for 15 mins sheer exhaustion sets in and you have to retire. 300 could never hold a million men at bay..

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