ONLY MICROSOFT DRIVEL CAN SAVE GREECE NOW

Some of our best Grecophile brainboxes here at The Slog have been analysing the remaining options open to the Athens Government over the last 72 hours – in these, the last 120 hours before the eleventh hour with no time but our shirts to lose reaches the stroke of midnight when them Troikanauts’ leerrrv gonna come tumblin’ down/ and they gonna take you Greece and hold you/an’ do all the things they told you/ in the midnight hour oh yes/in the midnight hour.

But at the very last minute, just before the very last second chance to see sense, we think we have – at the last gasp just before the final tape – found a way to make the Troika see stars.

It’s so simple, I can’t believe nobody did it earlier: just go to control panel, click on default programs, scroll down to ‘debt’ and double-click on ‘options’, choose ‘default online’, click ‘Advanced’ and then choose ‘Enable Troika script debugging’.

The four unassailable advantages this will give the Greek Government are as follows:

1. The Troika won’t know what the Syriza default program is

2. The script debugging App will share (without asking permission) a deconstruction of Schäuble, Finnish, Dieselboom and Slovak bollocks with Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, and Fox News

3. The CIA will never guess that the program file has been automatically saved in the default folder c//users:catflap1703cantona\temp

4. When the UK’s GCHQ Enigma machine finally does locate the file, the Google translate function will inform the Troika that there has been a non-successional sale of unyielding spikes indebted to bearish fixatives.

I think we can safely assume that, come Wednesday lunchtime, the white flags will be waving from buildings in Brussels and Frankfurt. Hurrah.

Earlier at The Slog: Rise above politics, rise up against neoliberal nihilism