ALTERNATIVE FA CUP FINAL SPECIAL: BRUSSEL ARSEHOLES 0 GREEK VILLA 0

Yes, today is THE BIG ONE….the 23rd FA Cup Final replay between Brussels Arseholes and Greek Villa.

In the first 22 matches, the score has been consistently 0-0, so most pundits are expecting another hard-fought, tight and unbelievably boring game today.

Superstar and doyen of the gossip magazines Yanis Varafootis is without doubt the danger man for Villa, a player of great style and master of the reverse-play back-pass into his own half. Recently he has been substituted during games, but he is expected to start today.

But all eyes will be on midfield supremo and captain Alexis Slippass, a man who has built the Villa side from scratch. And while they might be the underdogs in this decider, Alexis’s ability to slip passes through the Left channels and bind a disparate team together is legendary, some say even illusory.

Out of favour with the Villa management is centre-half Van ‘Fats’ Veryjealous. He has spent almost the entire season on the bench, but sacked manager Ant Smarmarse banned Veryjealous aftre he broke the bench five times in six outings.

For much of this season, Greek Villa have been living up to their nickname ‘the Villains’, but their opponents today are not for nothing known as the Arse: in the 22 previous contests, commentators have noted questionable tactics from wiry Dutch defender Jellybone Dribblebum: this central defender’s propensity to talk out of his arse has confused more than one Villa attacker, and attracted charges of Ungentlemanly Conduct.

Much fancied to win the mind games of the Final is Arseholes manager Wolfpack Gargoyle, a lifelong Arse who has formed a love-hate relationship with star player Maradonna Dragonfly….whom he describes as “My banker card when it comes to demolishing the Villa”. But without question, the player most feared by the Villains is German-born Brussels goalkeeper Jelly ‘the Fridge’ Merciless, the only keeper in modern soccer who stretches from one goalpost to another.

Yes, it looks like this tie could go on forever, and it very probably will.

8 thoughts on “ALTERNATIVE FA CUP FINAL SPECIAL: BRUSSEL ARSEHOLES 0 GREEK VILLA 0

  1. After 23 previous games, making fun of each replay makes more sense than taking it too seriously. Back in the other fantasy world, I am glad The Gunners won today.

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  2. In the real world atr least we get a winner and loser, Arsenal now off to celebrate whilst Villa have to console themselves.

    The point is we have a decision … we also have a winner and loser where the winner is the lucky one unless backed by political bribes and the loser can be anybody but certainly poor.

    The real world is so much more apperaling where through honesty, endeavour and hard work “rich or poor” you make progress not this

    1. “it is worse now than when it started so many years ago”.
    2. “the future is set to get worse”.

    They or the powers that be will hold this position indefinitely as to allow failure is no longer only about Greece or the EU if you think about it but it is about sovereigns globally. First one to default and make for the exit others would follow and Iceland is probably the first and only one to have ever got away! LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY …

    A global play.

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  3. I note that the Digger has changed his mind about the EU and is now supporting Cameron in his effort to stay in the EU. I wonder what grubby deal has been done to secure this.

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  4. O/T. I see that John Kerry has broken his leg,which may or may not bode well for peace in the ME, following the retirement of TB. Kerry is a cousin of Chris Curtis, an Englishman and OE, famous for having been sacked from Eton for sleeping with his housemaster’s Swedish nanny, and then reinstated because his mother pointed out that the housemaster(RMAB) had been there first. International diplomacy, you need to know all the angles.

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  5. Given that under the London Agreement of 1953 50% of Germany’s debts were written off, and very favourable extended terms offered to them to pay off the rest, it seems somewhat ill of them now to be playing the heavy hand with Greece. Clearly they have either chosen to forget that Greece was one of the forgiving nations or else they believe that avoidance of austerity only counts when you are a big “important” country.

    For more details google London Debt Agreement of 1953.

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