NEWSPAPER FORMERLY KNOWN AS DAILY TELEGRAPHMAY BE SCHIZOIDSAYS BARCLAY TORYNAFF WEBSITE

Twin Geeks

The Daily Telegraph is rapidly turning into a bigger joke in the Street of Shame than The Sun. In the same website column last night we read:

dtimmigration1It’s a success! We’re tolerant! I’nt immigrants brirrant, eh?

Four inches further down we read this – no change of visual, we’re cutting costs here:

dtimmigration2Send them back! They’re spiralling out of control! We’d be done with them if it wasn’t for that fat Commie bastard Vince Cable! Immigrants eh, doncha hate ’em?

So what Theresa May has actually done here is slag off Vinny ‘Flamenco’ Livewire for a huge success by not controlling it on her watch, when she was, um, supposed to be stopping that same ‘it’ which is, er, a huge success.

Not for nothing is she known in these columns as Theresa Mayormaynot.

Iggle biggle baggle boggle dunbles dingles ecky thimbles.

Tomorrow in your Tearaway Telegraph: Why we should quit the EU and then reform it.

This Sunday in your Soaraway Schizograph: Why we should reform the EU and then leave out of spite