Satire: Noun abbreviation of the verb to satiate ire

Bonus cap: Larger but inapplicable version of Benefits cap

Alimony: financial agreement that follows matrimony and acrimony

Bailout: action taken when the plane’s fourth engine goes

Discount: Retail promotion immediately preceding fall in headcount

Scrounger: Someone who illegally benefits from welfare

Scoundrel: Someone who benefits from welfare and pays himself a £3m bonus

Bonus: Latin for ‘good bribe’ as in bonus beneficium

Standard & Poors: Merger producing predictable incompetence

Coup de Grace: Act of policeman beating up informant

GOLD: Acronym standing for Gambling On Loaded Dice

Misogynist: Winner of 1960s bathing beauty contest

……………………………………………………………………………………………….