THE REDEFINED MEANINGS DERIVATIVES SECTOR

Derivatives judged through the medium of surreal etymology

Yet another building archive of Slogarithms looking at the zero relationship between definitions and bollocks

Pretension: What smart cafe ladies-who-lunch feel before the first Bloody Mary (See also pre-menstrual tension)

Confederate: Verb – to exact QE and rigged interest rates on a half-asleep electorate

Paedophile: Mythical sex pervert afflicting diseased minds of Underclass children.

Dreamliner: Nightmare destroying bottom line

Deficit: An unlikely inevitability that expands infinitely to cause panic (See also Defcom)

Globalism: Mantra-cluck emitted by turkeys in an attempt to abolish Christmas

Committee of Enquiry: Group formed to question Cheese too Big to Try

Reconciliation: Illegal process by which savers become reconciled to the State thieving from their bank accounts

Recovery: Cover story about getting back to where we used to be

Xperia: Phone launched by Japanese to enable consumers to learn from bad experience

Disappointment: That which happens within six months of voting for somebody to be appointed on your behalf.

Fracking: The act of grasping at straws

Allegations: Things with no teeth thrown pointlessly at the powerful. (See also antonym, alligators)

Earlier at The Slog: Holocaust lunacy and the ‘Palestinian’ Question