camwhoreptLast night, UK Prime Minister David Cameron “threatened” to prosecute the four oil giants who stand accused (along with intermediary price reporter Platts) of manipulating the oil price for their own advantage – if they’re found guilty. Why is he only threatening to do so? And why did he only threaten to do so after the EC had already caught them at it?

Let me give you a simple answer to each question. Cameron can only threaten, because energy providers – like bankers – are more equal before the law than the rest of us. And he has only made the threat after the EC went ahead with their raids because there is no way any British government would risk evoking the ire of these criminal sociopaths. Mr Cameron, and most politicians at his level, are nothing more than ordures on the shoes of oilmen.

Consider where the trail leads on this oily little racket. Platts is a wholly owned subsidiary of McGraw Hill. McGraw Hill also owns, um, Standard & Poors. S&P has within its gift the ability to say Britain is doing well (gilt yields fall) or Britain is heading down the sh*tter (gilt yields rise → Britain goes bankrupt → D Cameron out of a job). Stand by for an intervention from Boris Johnson along the lines of this being a deliberate EC plot to destroy Old Blighty by increasing its borrowing costs.

Let me also suggest another fix-scam to which Dave will give the very widest berth possible: ICAP. Bloomberg revealed three weeks ago that US regulators are investigating the ICAP interest-rate swap desk…..as part of a price-manipulation probe. Well blow me: another bunch of cheats under the cosh. According to the men in Bloomers, ICAP paid its brokers as much as $7 million a year at the market’s peak – earning the group the nickname “Treasure Island”. ICAP is supposed to be an onscreen record book for swap dealers. It is supposed to be beyond reproach. But ICAP brokers in London passed on requests from dealers asking Libor-setters at rival banks to make favourable submissions, e-mails released as part of the European probe show. UBS AG, Royal Bank of Scotland Group Plc and Barclays Plc (BARC) have since paid $2.6 billion in fines for rigging Libor rates.

Now, here’s a key fact to hold onto: London-based ICAP, the biggest broker of interest-rate swaps between banks, is run by Michael Spencer. Spencer is a former Conservative Party treasurer. He is also close to Michael Fallon, a member of the Cameron Cabinet and key man on the Treasury Select Committee that grilled Bob Diamond a few months back. At the time of the Libor scandal, Fallon was…..oh dear, a Libor broker. In the same reshuffle that promoted the appallingly ghastly incompetent Jeremy Hunt, Fallon too was promoted to the post of Minister for Business and Enterprise in September 2012. One of Fallon’s first acts as Minister was to give an unpleasant speech rubbishing LibDem business minister Vince Cable….the first man to nail Murdoch’s little game, and a man at least brave enough to call Fallon’s flock “spivs”.

So that’s why David Cameron isn’t going to prosecute ICAP troughers…..or Libor troughers…..or oilco troughers, or indeed any of the pigs swilling about in the trough. You see, David Cameron is their bumboy fag. He is their creature: they give him a yard of it up the backside 24/7. They insist on Hunt being promoted, on Boris’s brother invading Number Ten, on Boris being allowed to make Rupert Murdoch his guest of honour at the Olympic Games – without even the hint of a reprimand from Britain’s Prime Minister, on Fallon getting a key job when he shouldn’t even be on the TSC in the first place, on Andy Coulson becoming Cameron’s communications director, on Hunt guiding the BSkyB bid, and (if they feel like it) on the Barclay twins’ son Aidan telling the Leveson Committee members to go f*ck themselves.

These people can order the police to stop investigations into paedophile networks, threaten exposure of marital infidelity by Labour MPs investigating hitech corruption, and get senior cops fired off City probes getting too close to them. These people control David Cameron, and George Osborne. They use blackmail, falsified evidence, high-profile clubs, CCTV footage and bribes to ensure that secrets remain secret, certain MPs abstain, other MPs introduce embarrassing Bills, and Party donation irregularities remain private…..until this country’s internal and external political options are honed to suit their selfish agendas.

The entire Camerlot cabal is surrounded by media, judicial, sexual, banking, security, bureaucratic and geopolitical interests which, from Day One, have been determined to see it fail. I hold no brief for that clique of public-school twerps – and lest there be any doubt – let me make it clear that their tormentors would in turn swat the Ed Miller Band as if it might be a badly disabled fly….should the electorate conspire to vote them into power. But it’s time the British wised up. Kenneth More is dead, television is crap, commercial ethics have disappeared, One Nation Toryism has gone forever, the senior ranks of the police are bent, most MPs are greedy chancers, Labour is peopled by clueless fluffies, any old crook is allowed to own a newspaper, and those in charge would rather take the money of sadists than protect their citizens’ children.

This is not a financial, economic, social or political issue, it is a cultural slump. The Prime Minister – and all those who would like his job – are products of that diluted, sick, mefirst culture. It won’t stop being like this until they’ve all been kicked out and our citizen vows have been renewed by enough leaders to make a real difference.

David Cameron prosecute an oil company? Don’t make me laugh.

Earlier and closely related: Why this latest orchestrated Tory revolt is more serious