CRASH 2: Measuring the consequences of 180 measures

Where the world is headed gets more obvious every day in more and more ways. Two examples from yesterday, for example, were landing gear that didn’t land, and Government success by numbers. Very different stories, but very similar endings.

For some reason, I found the interesting (but uninterested) Spitfire snippet from yesterday’s Daily Telegraph oddly magnetic: ‘a Spitfire crashed on a runway when its landing gear collapsed on landing’. When a noun meets an imperfect verb, what you get is a crash. It’s yer unforeseen circumstances, innit? Well actually no, it isn’t: the Spit must be at least 65 years old, so it would’ve made eminent sense to check the landing gear before getting up in the air and then – obviously – needing to land again. Research shows, landing gear that folds just as one starts the landing manoeuvre is not fit for purpose. An entirely foreseeable consequence of being too much of a dingbat to check the mothering landing gear is that, sooner rather than later, the bloody plane will crash land as a result of being deficient in the gear, landing, for the use of. It’s about as unforeseen as pregnancy following rampant bareback sex between a sperm-rich bloke and an ovulating girlie.

Shift this scenery onto a macro stage, and one gets a sense of the sheer multiplicity of obvious consequences that are being ignored. The fact that Osborne had not the faintest glimmer of an idea about how to stimulate one part of the economy while massacring another. The painfully, blindingly obvious fact that Clubmed fiscal austerity would have disastrous economic and social effects….and fail utterly to work. The fact that the US deficit is out of control, and why raising ceilings will never be a substitute for underpinning. The fact that if the West hasn’t even got the money to buy ten billion solar garden lights any more, China is going to have a hard landing – and (almost certainly) nobody’s checked the landing gear.

Where it gets really mystifying however, is when those charged with sorting stuff out favour quantity of explosion over quality of analysis. Tim Geithner’s bazooka was firing blanks, but everyone seemed impressed by the idea of leveraging zero into $2.5 trillion. Giving Greece a whopping €120bn made people feel great for a while, but we’re now at $620bn and counting – when a simple debt write-off plus cancellation of some Franco-German munitions orders would’ve at least solved the fiscal problem. And while Camerlot’s savings of £18bn thus far look impressive to the markets, the reality bummer here is that the UK admin spends and deficit are still going up, and the banks have cost us twenty times that (to no economic effect whatever) over the same period. But once again, £437bn is a big number. Big is good. Big means cheap bonds. Cheap bonds cut the cost of drowning, but I’m unclear as to why the cost element is that important to the guy whose lungs are filling up with stuff that isn’t oxygen.

Anyway, yesterday the “coalition” we don’t really have in Britain moved the game on a few yards. It changed the medium of explosive action from fantasy money to fabulous measures. ‘Cameron and Clegg set out 180 measures to take Coalition to 2015’ wrote the press, with a minimalist level of interrogation about why 180 measures might do any good, or indeed what they were. It’s possible the markets will be impressed, and lenders stimulated, by gay marriages in church, and some of us will enjoy trying to establish what the correlation between those elements, if any, might be going forward. I’m just tickled by the idea of one measure every four days being the answer.

The MSM, to be fair, did highlight a few other measures beyond the Church celebrating bum action. They included rapid movement, supporting reviews, seeking cross-party planning agreements, accelerating rates, expanding the good, ensuring fair collection, delivering less evasion, introducing more, and – my particular favourite – registering the sheer amount of lobbying money that’s busy corrupting the entire political process. If the pimp is paying the girls to distract the dick-obsessives, you can bet the farm that an audit of what they get paid will bring that sort of nonsense to an immediate halt. The immortal George Carlin would’ve had a ball with this stuff.

But listen, don’t knock it: it is a measure of our government that 180 measures will take place. Together, they will measure up the country for its suit of sackcloth, and eventually everyone will finally understand the measurement table. That is, there are 180 measures to an election, two elections in a circle, and one circle in a Monty Pythonic Flight. The only problem being, it still isn’t time for something completely different to emerge from it all.

24 thoughts on “CRASH 2: Measuring the consequences of 180 measures

  1. Hmmm. You shouldn’t base your article on the bollocks reported about the Spitfire crash landing.

    The Daily Wail showed a photo of the Spitfire standing on its undercarriage on the runway and an airport spokesman said, “The aircraft has now been towed from the runway and after a final runway inspection, flights resumed at 6pm.”

    So not much wrong with the undercarriage then.
    Aircraft forums say that probably a tyre blew on landing. (Note to DM reporter – the Spitfire doesn’t have a front wheel). This is a fairly common occurrence, even on big jets.
    The Spitfire might have nosed over and smashed the prop, creating debris on the runway, but this was not stated.


  2. Shame about the Spit; these sort of events are pretty much impossible to exclude altogether as the metal and other materials are now old and fatigued (sounds familiar) and they’re not making them any more – spares that is, except as expensive one-offs where absolutely necessary. No amount of careful/loving maintenance can change that, but happily the plane and pilot are still intact. This one belongs to Rolls Royce so one can be reasonably confident that its maintenance schedule was up to scratch and anyway this sort of event was not unheard of when they were new, As far as the coalition are concerned, they could improve things by doing a 180 in a number of areas… Summat’s up though, I just got an email from Cov BS informing that, sorry explaining that, they are cutting their interest rate by a whopping 0.4%, of very little, toute suite. Keep your rubber on the tarmac folks.


  3. Mark Hanson at his blog,has again done the mathematics in the housing arena in the USA and shows,despite the governmental interventions,we are at a worse position than we were in 2008/2009,why is this not being reported in the MSM.It now appears that journalists in the MSM are being threatened not to ask the wrong questions and are got rid of when they do,why the silence?


  4. Why the silence? It’s the aboriginal approach – if you don’t name it, it doesn’t exist. However, the aboriginals recognised that if it does exist, you have to name it otherwise the universe unravels..


  5. 180 measures … ha ha … the government is now calling degrees measures I seen and an about turn because this is not working.

    Just read another article too, government is having a smoking only day and now you can see nothing but smoke.

    A person on benefits has had a larger % income increase than those in work when 1% of everything for a banker is alot and 100% of nothing for the lowest income levels working or not is a BIG ZERO! All at a time when the cost of needed items is rising the fastest as a way to maintain profitability.

    With all the things being said what can we not hear for all the noise they are generating? That is my thought …


  6. Pingback: John Ward – Crash 2 : Measuring The Consequences Of 180 Measures – 8 January 2013 | Lucas 2012 Infos

  7. I was about to raise the same point. Each time Mr Cameron stands before the camera’s telling the nation that further deficit reducing cuts are necessary no-one seems to ask the simple question ” So how much of the deficit has been reduced so far?”

    Surely if cuts are effective then the government would be shouting of their success from the rooftops? There was a time when I believed stories of MSM complicity to be the stuff of conspiracy theory, but alas no longer.


  8. “Delivering less evasion” is my fave.

    This is why I passed my 32” Philips over to my nephew. He gets more sense out of it through his Xbox and digital desert violence than I ever could at tea time.


  9. I read an appropriate sentence the other day that explains the situation quite well. “Politics is 47% smoke, 47% mirror and 6% substance, largely unknown and mainly shit.”


  10. “There was a time when I believed stories of MSM complicity to be the stuff of conspiracy theory, but alas no longer.”

    Aye, those days are over.
    I’m still not sure whether it was always like that and we just didn’t believe it, or whether the MSM is more deceitful than it used to be. Perhaps it’s a bit of both.


  11. Well you’ve got to see a funny side to all of this. In 2015 when the Cameron Government finally goes belly up and loses big in the general election they are going to hand back to the appalling Labour party an even worse mess then they inherited from the deranged Gordon Brown in 2010. Deficit still gigantic and out of control and the national debt more then doubled. They will have borrowed in 5 years far more then the Labour party did in its 13.
    They will bequeath several million more immigrant spongers to feed and look after and will have the immense pleasure and satisfaction of watching the totally hapless Ed Miliband drown in an ocean of problems that his party originally helped to create. Now that’s what you call payback.


  12. “Now that’s what you call payback.”
    Yep – we’ll be paying it back for years.
    Unless and until the country wakes up and sees that the Westminster government has only one aim in mind ( the continuation of the present system) then not a thing will change – 180 or not.
    Labour, Conservative, Lib Dems – or any coalition combinations of the above (Including Labour/conservative) will only do the same things.


  13. Yes.
    We are in the grip of a corrupt and peverse political Party System.
    The BBC/Lab/Daily Mail/Con swine lean against each other like drunks in the street.
    The Italians figured the same out years ago; they realised that they were ruled by the political parties so it made no difference who they voted for. This country is at least a generation behing Italian ‘political self awarness’.


  14. Pingback: CRASH 2: The Fat Lady may not be singing, but all seven veils have been removed. | The Slog. 3-D bollocks deconstruction

  15. Good grief, kfc, you are happy for them to stop doing one of the fairly small number of things that they are really quite good at?
    Where is your sense of pride in this administration’s area real achievement? Quite gone?


  16. Folks…….please refrain from asking why the MSM aren’t asking this or aren’t holding that politician to task……

    The MSM, the major political parties, the big financials, the corporations are all the one entity. They’re all in it together. The MSM are every bit as much of the problem ordinary people face as any of the other gangsters I’ve alluded to above.


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