At the End of the Day

Bollocks of the week for me was the statement by a junior Finance Minister in Tehran that – in the currency and cyber wars pretty obviously being waged against his country – “Iran’s aim is not escalation, but retaliation”. Radical Islamic braindead illogic is right there in seven words.

“You started it”.

“We start nothing, American Satan”.

“Yes you did, you started building a bomb, so now we’re going to demolish your country. It’s a nation for a bomb. That seems fair, it says so in this heeyah Bible I gert with me at all times.”

“Then we retaliate. But there will be no escalation, for Islam is religion of peace even when blowing infidel legs off. People with no legs cannot climb escalator any more, so will be no escalation”.

We are a dysfunctional species – especially when inventing God.


9 thoughts on “At the End of the Day

  1. Sh*t John God’s already been invented then my quest for world domination is ferked. Why didn’t some other aspiring moron tell me this? My wife and child depend on me ravishing others as the rest of the world does, rather than adding positively to the status quo. I need a bent adviser who can make this right and also tap me into any kind of EU subsidy going….because let’s face it who wants to work hard for a living…


  2. Indeed, the humour that can sometimes be wrought from totalitarians certainly falls under the heading ‘unintended consequences.’ I recently acquired a small .pdf containing some of the ‘whisper jokes’ that were circulating in Germany during the Third Reich. There should be no need to explain why these jokes were whispered.

    Obviously, being often a play on words, most are impossible to translate effectively – but luckily, some can be reworded to English:

    Fritz asks Hans, “What do you get for a new joke?” – “Six months in Dachau!”

    The teacher caught small Moritz as he was flipping through his notebook under the desk. His anger soon subsided as he opened up the first page. “Listen children, to what your admirable classmate Moritz has written: “May God keep Adolf Hitler safe”. He flipped to the next page: “May God keep Hermann Goering safe”. Then the next page: “May God keep Joseph Goebbels safe”. But on the next page the teacher faltered. True, there was written “May God keep Ernst Röhm safe”, but underneath was scribbled: “Received for safe-keeping on 01 July 1934.“

    The grotesque disparities between the Nazi leadership and the ideal image for the ‘Aryan Master Race’ provoked much ridicule. The whisper jokes summarised it this way: “What does the perfect German look like? Blond like Hitler, slim like Goering, tall like Goebbels and as chaste as Rohm …

    Göring’s love of uniforms offered many opportunities:

    “Broken water pipe in Goering’s house. After he had been informed about it he ordered, “Bring me my admiral’s uniform!”

    “Have you been told yet: Goering is going to have his left arm shortened.” – “What for?” – “So that he can wear Kaiser Wilhelm’s old uniforms.”

    “The bishop visited the rectory and noted that the vicar had hung photos of Hitler and Goering to the right and left of the crucifix. “But, my dear colleague, you cannot do that?” – “Why not? It’s not the first time that the Lord has hung between two sinners.”

    “My father is a Storm Trooper, my older brother is in the SS, my younger brother in the Hitler Youth, my mother is in the National Socialist Women’s Guild and I am in the Union of German Girls.” “Really, and do you ever get to see each other?” – “Certainly! Once a year at the Party Rally in Nuremberg.”


  3. “When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, “Why god? Why me?” and the thundering voice of God answered, There’s just something about you that pisses me off.”
    ― Stephen King
    Humans, the only animal to believe in a god, yet acts as if there is none.


  4. The reason we have not bombed Israel, India and Pakistan, all of whom have illegal nuclear weapons?
    Is because, Israel, India and Pakistan, all have illegal nuclear weapons?
    @Viking Jack: keep it up, the best antidote is humour.
    How about the Monty Pythons, reissue the Life of Brian with sub-titles in Arabic and Urdu?


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