John Ward October 19, 2012 Crooked MPs at it again

MPs WITH DAY JOBS: first startling picture

They swing to left and right

and though they have no sight

they use the power of speech

each blackened heart to bleach.

With gobs that open wide

they catch the cash and hide

the truth that always frowns

on all elected clowns.

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1

Why be sane when you can be mad? | A diary of deception and distortion on October 22, 2012 at 12:52 pm

[…] If you enjoyed that, you’ll probably also enjoy this […]

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2

adminz2u2Mike on October 20, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Thanks for that! I am a Greek-American and my father is from Kefalonia. I have spent many summers there and I can corroborate your descriptions. I particularly liked how you say that on a rainy day it looks more like Wales. And yes, you have achieved your goal my friend.

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3

aflatoxin on October 20, 2012 at 1:29 pm

“Gauleiter Schulz is and remains the embodiment of the “ugly German” … when he was a child they probably had to hang a steak around his neck so that at least the dog would play with him.”

PMSL Too true.

Thanks for this @V.J. The Swiss news v interesting. It seems it is still normal policy for male householders to belong to the equivalent of the TA as it was in the 1970’s- one presumes this is where their border forces would be drawn from?

Perhaps a Swiss slogger could enlighten/correct me

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4

Caratacus on October 19, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Ahh – shades of the sainted Bernard Manning there …

“The boy stood on the burning deck,
Eating red-hot scallops,
One fell down his trouser leg
And burnt him on his .. ankle;
(Completely missed his bollocks)”

You can tell that one absolutely anywhere. I have :-)

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5

Geo on October 19, 2012 at 6:20 pm

@HD
Good one! Off topic, but:

A two legged bird in the market,
was non-plussed with a sign which read: ‘Park it’,
for he flew in sans car,
and without going far,
thought it was not deserving remark, it.

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6

gonad2012truthseeker on October 19, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Wall’s Ice Cream.

The boy stood on the burning deck,
Eating a thru’penny Walls,
A bit fell down his trousers leg,
And paralysed his ‘evidenced based deconstruction’ balls.

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7

Stephenroi on October 19, 2012 at 4:27 pm

@Jon,

S’funny they demand instant payment at the till – Here’s a link:
http://www.retail-week.com/companies/sainsburys/sainsburys-criticised-over-supplier-payment-terms/5041962.article

If its good enough for Gov’t departments to aim for 30 days it should be good enough for any large enterprise…..

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8

Morningstar on October 19, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Sounds like most of the MPs go to uni to get a degree in Junta :) Commonly known as PPE……….

Hey a new collective………. A Junta of MP’s

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9

Jon on October 19, 2012 at 3:13 pm

@Sroi, that’s the same Sainsbury’s that have just unilaterally changed their supplier payment terms from 30 to 75 days?

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10

David Bennett on October 19, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Ms Rowling donates loadsa money to the Labour party for she is generous of heart but fairly limited of mind
big boy ed on the eton playing fields

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11

the ghost on October 19, 2012 at 2:23 pm

So they do no wrong
we make the rules
it is only fair because
we make the rules
we choose right from wrong
we make the rules
your kidding no one with your bent rules

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12

Stephenroi on October 19, 2012 at 2:18 pm

PS O/T Sainsbury’s are doing a fine Croft Port at £6.99 (half price) buy a bottle with five other wines and the price reduces 25% to £5.24. And you will be supporting our oldest ally – Every little helps……

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13

Stephenroi on October 19, 2012 at 2:14 pm

As in: “I know nothing” corporal Schultz?

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14

Mo on October 19, 2012 at 1:50 pm

@ VJ. Well, what do you expect from a man who has been described as a ‘Nazi concentration camp guard?

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15

Viking Jack on October 19, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Could this be Islamists demonstrating that they too have a penchant for clowning about:

http://www.newenglishreview.org/blog_display.cfm/blog_id/44487

“Iran To Award “Islamic Nobel” For Muslim Scientists Only

Iranian Vice-President for Science and Technology Nasrin Soltankhah said the Iranian government plans to grant a Nobel-like prize to selected Muslim scientists in a bid to encourage Muslim world scholars to promote and elevate their works and prepare them for tighter and harder rivalries at global levels, like the Noble Prize.”

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16

stuart on October 19, 2012 at 1:04 pm

All of this reminds me of board game I used to play a lot in my mis-spent youth….

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junta_(game)

For a modern European version all we have to do is rename the players roles…

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17

Viking Jack on October 19, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Well, it looks like there are some people who are not clowning about.

Brought to my attention on PI yesterday, the original to be found here – in CH-German:

http://www.effecten-spiegel.de/#

“Poor Europe
Switzerland closes the borders

Because of the euro crisis, Switzerland is expecting bloody riots in Europe in the coming years. As Bern fears an encroachment onto their own territory and large flows of refugees from Southern Europe, the Swiss are equipping their armed forces and securing the four parts of the country at the borders. “I do not exclude that in the coming years we will need the army,” the Swiss Defence Minister Ueli Maurer told the Swiss press. With the maneuver “Stabilo Due” their military leadership is already rehearsing for the worst.

At the beginning of the debt crisis more than two years ago the ES was already warning that “Greece’s burning trashcans” were only the beginning of a social conflagration in Europe. Today, mass demonstrations and street battles in the EU are unfortunately becoming commonplace. Since May of last year Spain goes onto the streets almost every day and demonstrates against European policies. Labour market reform, increases in VAT, cuts in health and education services, salary cuts and job reductions continue to worsen the mood in the country. Even Italy, Portugal and France regularly provide images of marauding rioters setting fire to cars and trashcans, clouds of tear gas and enraged protesters.”

Amongst the comments on the PI thread:

“The Swiss are planning the mobilisation of 100,000 troops, including 1600 military police.

Converted to equivalents in Germany, that would be ca. 1.9 million soldiers, amongst them 30,000 military police! This represents around 10% of the male population between 20 and 50 years of age.

This is not a routine maneuver.”

Maybe I should think about upping sticks and dragging my butt down there – after all, Switzerland is only about 200 clicks away from where I presently reside.

Meanwhile, if any Slogger is in need of a good puke, try a whiff of this:

“Martin Schulz, in an interview with the NL newspaper ‘De Volkskrant’.

The disdain in the Netherlands for the European Parliament is due to a ‘narrow view of the world.’ “The Problem with the Dutch is that they suffer from introspection. Their own navel as the centre of the world.” The President of the European Parliament, Martin Schulz, said that on Thursday in an interview with the Volkskrant. Schulz said that national governments need to transfer more power to Brussels.

The President of the European Parliament often watches, amongst others, the Dutch television news programmes, he understands the Dutch language. (N.B. – and so he should, his home town is hard on the DE-NL border). They are absolutely Dutch. “The contempt for the European Parliament is a typically Dutch phenomenon. In other countries we are appreciated much more.”

To which PI contributor ‘nicht die mama’ added:

“Gauleiter Schulz is and remains the embodiment of the “ugly German” … when he was a child they probably had to hang a steak around his neck so that at least the dog would play with him.”

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18

HarrysDad on October 19, 2012 at 11:22 am

When the DT enquired “expenses?”
Dwarf Bercow put up the defences
“It’s about our security
be assured of our purity
We’ll take care of the pounds and the pences”

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19

John Ward on October 19, 2012 at 11:15 am

Zeus goose wins today’s prize for Frunt-Bottomley naughtiness.
Excellent limerick, Zeus.

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20

John Ward on October 19, 2012 at 11:14 am

mark
I am a keen fan of Shing Dynasty pottery….:)

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21

Stephenroi on October 19, 2012 at 11:04 am

Meanwhile the DT’s straw poll:”Should MPs be forced to reveal if they rent out their taxpayer-funded homes?” seems to have attracted a record number of votes with nearly 24.000 people voting yes (approx 99%)
and less than 400 voting No. I suspect the 400 are not Spartans….

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22

David Bennett on October 19, 2012 at 11:00 am

I considered doing a series which would find jobs for the washed out and the downright incompetent. I found a job for this man who I always thought nice but dim

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23

MaxC on October 19, 2012 at 10:35 am

@Zeus. Brilliant!

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24

kfc1404 on October 19, 2012 at 10:35 am

+1

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25

Stephenroi on October 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

Brilliant double entendre!

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26

Stephenroi on October 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

Entrepreneurial rent boys?

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27

zeusgoose on October 19, 2012 at 10:18 am

Hmmm….now I`ve come over all poetic as well.

Cameron sent emails all day
Their contents we really cant say
So Becky Red Top
Who never said stop
Had her inbox filled up right away

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28

kfc1404 on October 19, 2012 at 9:55 am

For the enemy has persecuted my soul;
He has smitten my life down to the ground;
He hath made me dwell in darkness, as those that have long been dead.
Therefore my spirit overwhelmed within me;
My heart within me is desolate.
I remember the days of old.

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29

theguvnor on October 19, 2012 at 9:47 am

You know how it works. MPs are fore the people!

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30

David Bennett on October 19, 2012 at 9:40 am

Maybe Prince Philip will be shown a picture of him by then. It doesn´t matter much which picture. Any one will do

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31

Altergoman on October 19, 2012 at 9:38 am

Before it is too late the MP’s who need a London base should be required to live in the Olympic village flats used by the athletes they lauded it would put them in one economically viable place and they can all be surveilled constantly a situation they believe is good for us.

All MP’s expenditure is meant to be parsed through the ‘solely and necessary test’ for them to do their jobs.

This, IMO, becomes impossible when they have multiple sources of income.

That external income should reduce their MP salary and pension on a pound for pound basis (does anyone know if MP pensions are indexed to RPI or like ‘plebs like us’ the lower CPI?).

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32

Mark Deacon on October 19, 2012 at 9:35 am

shining … spelling and I never use a spell check.

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33

Mark Deacon on October 19, 2012 at 9:35 am

Wonderful start to the day, made me smile.

The sun’s shing, get reality into focus then get on with the day.

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34

larry Levin on October 19, 2012 at 9:20 am

an mp in parliament yesterday was claiming security resons for not allowing freedom of info req finding out who the mp’s landlords are. if an mp is receiving rental income would they have to declare it in the register of members ? interests

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35

Mo on October 19, 2012 at 9:08 am

Here richly, with ridiculous display,
The politician’s corpse was laid away.
While all of his aquaintance sneered and slanged,
I wept, for I had wished to see him hanged.
Hillaire Belloc.

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36

MaxC on October 19, 2012 at 9:04 am

Members of the House of Commons, including former ministers, are claiming expenses of up to £20,000 a year each for rent as well as receiving rent from properties that were often purchased and refurbished with taxpayer assistance.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/9619022/Expenses-scandal-27-MPs-let-one-home-and-claim-for-another.html

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37

Nick Markakis on October 19, 2012 at 8:51 am

Bollocks deconstruction is poetry :-)

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38

Caratacus on October 19, 2012 at 8:51 am

If we’re going all poetic …
.
Said the minister, Jeremy Hunt,
“Now I’ll take a bit of a punt:
This time in a year
I’ll be PM, my dear –
If not, I’m a simpering cad who should be put in stocks and pelted with rotten tomatoes …

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