At the End of the Day

It’s a grab-bag of bits, pieces, half-formed ideas and minor occurrences in my brain tonight: from surrealist humour to profound fortune-cookie stuff in just a few thousand words. You lucky people.

Tonight’s buzz-definitions:

When S&P says ‘outlook stable’, let’s remember: stable = place from which horses escape due to lack of locks, bolts etc

Happy Medium – Optimistic fortune-teller.

Recession – Economic disaster that occurs when MPs have all gone home.

Libor – tedious Bank of England employee insisting that he knew nothing.

Whistle-blower – Guard on gravy train pointing out that we went straight through the last station without stopping, and the cliff-edge beckons. (See also – bitter and twisted Communist).


What the SEC said to an Asian-centred bank recently: this is the Standard Charter.

What the bank discovered later: It was not so much a cover-up from Federal Mammon as a carve-up from New York Scammon.
Thus, a bank squared a Yank and then sank when a wonk ignored rank and went for a wank with a Pentagon tank.

And word is just coming through to our newspod here at Slogger’s Roost that, following the latest Franco-Belgian edict about every European State driving on the right from 2014, the Academie Francaise has announced that as from April 1st 2013, all French noun genders will drive in the opposite direction. Every le will become a la. And every objection will be greeted with a lalalalalalalalala.

Trolls, conspiracy theorists, new-agers and Universe inverters…what make you of this: with the juxtaposition of just two letters, unclear becomes nuclear. It is a sign. Furthermore: the anagrams are guiding us. If u r clean, then can rule. It’s obvious! Ubly oogly ganglee dinglee thingy thongy.

And remember chefs, when that mould-breaking recipe doesn’t work, don’t get bent out of shape: add some origami. Origami is the herb’s herb. I’m a black-belt, but it took me thirty years of dedicated faking to get there.

The Bank of England has slashed UK growth targets again. Mervyn King told baffled journalists this afternoon that “this is a very serious problem in that we are now down to zero, and the divisibility of zero has been a subject of some fascination to mathematicians since the time of the Pharaohs. I think it was King Tutanmoron III who said that three times nothing was still f**k all; but on the other hand, Einstein declared that zero held the route to the future, although one could never return to confirm that hypothesis. If only I could pass through that nothingness, I would be a happy man indeed. As it is, I blame the Americans. Why not? They’re blaming  us, the two faced bastards.”


You can’t each an old dog new tricks (so they say) but I’ll tell you what: you can’t teach a new dog old tricks either. So rife is ageism in our culture, the young folks in banking, marketing, politics and bluffing cling gamely to their belief in intelligence quotient…while continuing to ignore that far more valuable and rare commodity, wisdom.

Wisdom teaches us that things heading upwards will come down sooner or later. That falling things will – given time to recover – rise again. That nothing is forever. That the past is no guide to the future, and that ignoring the past is no guide as to what to do now. That the weapons of yesterday lead to the Polish cavalry being wiped out. That relative values are worthless, and absolute creeds lead to relatively high death rates.

Sagesse (as the French have it) comes late to the few, and far too late for the many. The Friedmanite and Keynesian economists differ only from the Islamists in the number of realities they’re prepared to ignore in order to be – in their own eyes – timeless.

Britain’s new Young Right has a wisdom borne from independently taught independence of thought. But they too, from time to time, reinvent economic wheels and ignore important social weals.

And so I reach some sort of conclusion with this genuine news roundup: Car Bomb Kills 11 in Iraq. Attack Hits NATO Patrol in Afghanistan. Syria Renews Aleppo Offensive.

Little bit of wisdom to end on: don’t try to negotiate with headcases. You can announce a peace-deal, but they will still be headcases. And they will still want your head on a plate.


21 thoughts on “At the End of the Day

  1. Agree

    That nothing is forever. That the past is no guide to the future, and that ignoring the past is no guide as to what to do now ++1

    the two faced bastards +1


  2. To touch on an earlier post this from Zero hedge:
    Confused Why So Many Foreign Banks Are Suddenly Being Charged By The US? Here’s Why
    It’s very simple really. Please point out where on the below list of Top 20 contributors to a randomly selected US politician, in this case New York’s Chuck Schumer, can one find Standard Chartered, Barclays, or HSBC?
    And there’s your answer, which should also explain why banks such as Goldman Sachs, Citigroup, Morgan Stanley, JPMorgan, etc, will never be subject to the same kangaroo court in which suddenly everyone is shocked, shocked, that banks were manipulating Libor and laundering money or doing any other thing which bankers do day after day, every day.
    Oh yes, there is an election coming up too…


  3. BBC News tonight reporting ‘British economy has ground to a halt…”
    Are these people stupid?

    Also swervin’ Mervyn spent most of his news conference addressing heaven, with his eyes swivelled upwards.They do say that liars look away when answering a question; or perhaps he was talking directly with God, blessings be on him – Mervyn, that is.


  4. “…ground to a halt” is not EXACTLY the same as zero growth.
    The problem – as always – is that tax revenues and getting the national debt back into line are always postulated on ongoing economic growth.


  5. With idiots like Merv the Swerve and Moron Cameron in charge we are peeing against the wind as far as economic recovery is concerned. There policy is called ‘Hope for Dopes’.


  6. Mr Bean, Deputy Governor of the Bank of England (Monetary Policy), now things are stating to make sense.


  7. Any Briton who thought it was their destiny to become the first proper President of a United States of Europe would equally be deeply worried at the real prospect of Britain leaving the EU…..

    Yours deeply worried,


  8. I like ageism. It is increasingly apparent that the generation born since 1980 is far better than the generation that preceded it. They commit less crime and win more gold medals. It’s all good.

    Political blogs are very much the symbol of OUR generation. A bunch of whinging old farts complaining about what other people are doing wrong whilst not having the cahones to do anything ourselves about it. Its typical of our generation. A bunch of emotional cripples with no self confidence led to disaster like sheeple by the cultural marxists. Well the Cultural Marxists are dying off now and their Guardian subscriptions have been cancelled.

    I think the running of the country should be given to Chris Hoy and Victoria Pendleton who are clearly made of sterner stuff than the rest of us and our generation (40+) should all retire to an old peoples home where we can have a good whinge about “Broken Britain” whilst never realising this one fact:



  9. Excuse me, but a great many people have tried to ‘do something about it’, & laid their hard earned & their reputations on the line, only to become disillusioned when they realised that all they were doing was funding other peoples’ silver-plated lifestyle, & that these people didn’t care two hoots about the country, & would never put the country before their own interests.


  10. Tell me Mo, who would that be? The only reason people ever join political parties is to find out the next parcel of land that’s going to get planning permission.

    The whole country is on the make. Our esteemed host was in advertising for god’s sake! If that isn’t one big lie factory I don’t know what is.


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