At the end of the day, let’s be clear about something. If just one more politician says the word “clear” in the context of “let” and “me”, I shall be forced to let clear daylight into that politician’s thick head with the aid of a blunt instrument.

I would like a complete clear-out of all those politicians still hooked on the lazy, mendacious, and altogether unimaginative habit of saying “Let me be clear (about this)”.

Not only that, as there is obviously no clear blue water between any of the buggers on this issue, I wish to make clear that there is clearly a very strong chance that a clear majority of politicians may fall victim to my let-me-be-clear-seeking sledgehammer, club or truncheon.

Because it’s important to clear up any misunderstanding about just how clear-air-headed these clear-drivelling idiots are going to be if they persist in claiming to be clear when it is abundantly clear that their objective is to be a clear as mud that has had every scintilla of clarity removed from it by a clearance specialist.

Yes, once and for all I want to clear the air and make my position as clear as a bell: I listened to a recording of our Prime Minister this afternoon trying to persuade me that he wanted to be clear on the subject of being in the clear about what a Godawful mess we are clearly in. He obviously thought the coast was clear, and we might let him get away with a clear case of obfuscation, but I’m here to tell you it was a clear-cut case of a pillock thinking that we’d think Britain was cleared for take-off when in reality what he should do is clear his desk and then clear off somewhere else.

So, let us clear the decks and aspire to the clear blue skies beyond people wanting to be clear about stuff. Do I make myself clear? Excellent.