BREAKING….Cameron cracks Ministerial Code

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Newscorp market leader The Shunt is proud to bring its devotees the first picture of Sh*tstorm victim Jerry Punt (above) following his exposure to a sh*tstorm in the light of a Not Guilty M’lud plea to Lord Leveson last week. His Lordship refused to hear his plea, however – a decision that has rattled British PM Cavedin Dammerung.

“I don’t believe Jeremy Hunt broke the ministerial code,” said Prime Minister Dammerung, “Although he may have broken his word here and there. But I’m pleased to announce that I and my colleagues in GCHQ have cracked the Ministerial Code, and from that exhaustive private enquiry, it is very clear that Mr Blunt did not break the Ministerial Code, and so that’s that.”

Speaking on the Andrew Blowpar Show, Mr Dammerung said he was very surprised to be asked if he took prescription painkillers.

“Now look here,” he said, “That’s entirely out of order. I only ever take proscribed drugs, and I’ve never taken Happy Pills like that Boredom McGoon had to. That is a slur and I resent it, I mean my drugs not his. I am merely here to explain that Mr Hunt in whom I have qualified confidence is an ethical man who has done nothing wrong except excavate Mr Murdoch’s bottom and forget to tell Parliament about 156 pages of entirely innocent emails involving done-deals and no-brainers. He has done a marvelous job in promoting the Olympic ideal of a level playing field at Eton, and I feel sure that nothing new will come out – but of course if it does I will have no alternative but to fire the grubby little oik on the spot.”

Well, the jury is out. But one senses it will soon be coming back in with a verdict.

FOOTNOTE: an anagram of Jeremy Hunt is ‘the jury men’.

For further reading, see Andy Coulson, Rebekah Brooks, Andrew Lansley, Lord Ashcroft, A horse etc etc etc

27 thoughts on “BREAKING….Cameron cracks Ministerial Code

  1. MINISTERIAL CODE
    1 MINISTERS OF THE CROWN
    General principle
    1.1 Ministers of the Crown are expected to behave in a way that upholds the highest standards of propriety.

    1.2 The Ministerial Code should be read alongside the Coalition agreement and the background of the overarching duty on Ministers to comply with the law including international law and treaty obligations and to uphold the administration of justice and to protect the integrity of public life. They are expected to observe the Seven Principles of Public Life set out at Annex A, and the following principles of Ministerial conduct:

    a. The principle of collective responsibility, save where it is explicitly set aside, applies to all Government Ministers;

    b. Ministers have a duty to Parliament to account, and be held to account, for the policies, decisions and actions of their departments and agencies;

    c. It is of paramount importance that Ministers give accurate and truthful information to Parliament, correcting any inadvertent error at the earliest
    opportunity. Ministers who knowingly mislead Parliament will be expected to offer their resignation to the Prime Minister;

    d. Ministers should be as open as possible with Parliament and the public, refusing to provide information only when disclosure would not be in the public interest which should be decided in accordance
    with the relevant statutes and the Freedom of Information Act 2000;

    e. Ministers should similarly require civil servants who give evidence before Parliamentary Committees on their behalf and under their direction to be as helpful as possible in providing accurate, truthful and full information in accordance with the duties and responsibilities of civil servants as set out in the Civil Service Code;

    I didn’t even get past the first page of the “General Principle”

    • @Tembo11:
      “Ministers who knowingly mislead Parliament will be expected to offer their resignation to the Prime Minister;”
      I suppose Cavedin Dammerung has offer himself his resignation, and then he can refuse it.
      There job done. Simples.

  2. Dear John
    I just posted a lengthy comment on ‘Robbing the State blind…’ after Yana. Please read this. I promise it will be the most important ‘comment’ to date. Thank you so much. Chris

  3. John, I know you will disagree with this, but what I really want to know is whether Hunt was deliberately manipulating the bid process and all the rest of it for personal or party gain of some sort or to screw Aunty (and boy, does she need screwing!) or whether he’s just an inexperienced fool who acted overzealously and wanted to get it through to show what a superstar he is and further his ministerial career.
    I say that in the knowledge that what he allegedly did was probably wrong but I’m interested in the reasons behind it… Other slogger views welcome…

    • Who on any side has anything significant to Gain or Lose from Aunty being screwed eithe here in UK or somewhere else in the world

      • The Tories are known to have long held suspicions of Aunty and its bias news reporting, as so many others do. Its very existence and funding arrangements are an anachronism in the 21st century.

        Labour would be far less of a beneficiary for obvious political reasons.
        All other TV channels would likely be net beneficiaries.

        But I wouldn’t support just privatising Aunty as-is. That would give us another British Telecom monster, but in the private sector.

      • Far from “poor Aunty”, Aunty is doing her best to avoid people inspecting her drawers using FoIA – and succeeding well. She even had the temerity to go lobby the Cameroons recently for a high price on ‘”carbon” paper’ so she and all who have sailed in her in past can continue in the manner they believe they should be accustomed to when they are finally put out to grass. The GWPF has the details of the lobbying. Aunty’s pension pot is invested in ‘ethical’ ‘green’ areas (not AFAIK forests), and she is feeling a gusset problem coming on.

    • @BT:
      I would go for option 2 bearing in mind the trail of incriminating evidence he carelessly left behind. Hardly the work of a professional, not something Blair or Mandlebum would have done.

      • @kfc: Good point. I also lean towards that explanation. He does seem to be a rather overzealous character with ambition. And his inexperience may have led him to do things carelessly.

    • What would also be of great interest is what it was that led Leveson to call for this tranche of emails in the first place. These were not just offered up by News Corp, they were requested, sorry, demanded by Leveson. They must have heard something that led them down this route. Note that the BSkyB bid has not featured in Leveson until this point.

      • Perhaps Leveson genuinely thought the e-mails might contain something relevant to his inquiry. Instead, they appear to be only about NI’s bid for BSkyB, but he wouldn’t know that until they were examined.

      • I think you will find that the emails form part of the additional part of witness statements given by Rupert and James Murdoch relating to the BSkyB takeover. (Evidence, Tuesday 24 April 2012 Afternoon: Exhibit KRM 18 (pdf, 5.07MB) and the various email exhibits). It would appear they were freely given to support their evidence before Leveson.

    • It smells like personal gain, rather than party.

      Hunt made his money from his business supplying education course matter. Murdoch has a long-term strategy to use his digital media platforms (Sky, Broadband etc) to supply education services to schools, colleges, academies and universities worldwide – you only need one good teacher to get the interactive message to millions of kids that way. Schools can sack all the useless teachers and just use cheap classroom assistants for supervision, so it’s cost-efective.

      Murdoch has the hardware, Hunt has the software – a marriage made in cyber-space. Murdoch gets a new cash-cow to cover for the demise of the dead-tree press (and one which gives him free access to malleable minds at school, no less) and Hunt gets to deliver his course products on a huge scale, collecting a slice on every delivery.

      Beats the earnings of ministerial office, any day.

      • @Mudplugger: I’m not sure how much money Hunt has actually made from his business ventures from what I remember reading about them. But I cannot discount the possibility that what you say is correct and guided his actions w/r/t the BSkyB bid and NI.

    • If you have stock, SELL. Better a year early than a day late. I invested in SLV, hold-in-the-hand, rare banknotes and stamps. Though I don’t think we’ll be needing them at the end of this year! Read what Steve Beckow, founder of the2012scenario, posted today, about the upcoming financial situation. And before you do, you just might wanna call your broker and shout SELL!

    • @EC,your PM may not know the price of a carton of milk,but his experience at Carlton will surely have convinced the trustees of his various offshore trusts that BSkyB’s share price will be £3 higher in 2 years,either because Diggercorp has flogged NI to Richard Desmond and bought out the rest of BSkyB,or the Barclay boys will make an unrefusable offer for BSkyB,when the dust has settled this autumn.’Fill your boots’,as my insider friends say.

    • Nope, I’ve never heard it before. Naughtie refers to the date being the 6th December, I guess that’s *2011* …when I was a long way away.

  4. Pingback: John Ward – Breaking…. Cameron Cracks Ministerial Code – 30 April 2012 | Lucas 2012 Infos

  5. [OT]
    Views of Sloggers’ vindicated. According to David Cameron, the Eurozone crises is not even half way through yet and still has years to run:

    I don’t think we are anywhere near halfway through it because what’s happening in the eurozone is a massive tension between the single currency that countries are finding very difficult to adapt to…

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financialcrisis/9235620/Cameron-says-eurozone-debt-crisis-has-years-to-run.html

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