TESCO CONTINUES TO CRUMBLE IN FACE OF SLOG ONSLAUGHT

Note to Trolls: this piece is ironic self-parody

Over at the website GoingFastGettingNowhere, there is yet more evidence of the old adage, ‘Those whom the Gods wish to destroy, they first make mad’. Tesco is flogging 500ml of Russian Standard Brand vodka for £12. Not that cheap to be honest, which perhaps explains why the 750ml size right next to it is offering 50% more for £11.

This is the first evidence that has come to light so far of The Slog’s secret MI7-sponsored campaign to infiltrate Tesco’s price-marking teams. All over Britain, Sloggers have been holding their noses to don the 100% nylon blue uniform and sign up to help carve up the margins of Evil Tescopoly via the use of sabotage.

The effect on its home durables chain Home Plus is already apparent: The Times no less (and they don’t come any less) reports today that Tesco is keen to receive offers from, well, anyone really who might take this load of old whatnot off their grasping hands. Three piece suites being priced at £0.93p buy one get one free are bad for business.

Anyway, over at the ShopTesco Twitter page, there are now 47 followers, and 47 million derivative followers just waiting to swamp Big T with complaints and thus scupper its feeble attempt to make a comeback.

(Cue sound effects, manic cackle in echo chamber)

Learn more about Tesco’s dysfunctional moral hazard ethics here.