News Ketchup

“I rob banks because that’s where the money is”. So said a famous American villain; but the world is now so completely upside down, in many cases this is no longer true. I imagine you’d still be OK doing a stick-up at JP Morgan or Rothschild, but very probably Bank of America and Credit Agricole are running on empty, so caveat robber and all that. Imagine breaking into the European Central Bank’s vaults, only to find eight billion Greek five-year bonds.

The ECB, in fact, is the one we should all be worried about. I posted just before Christmas on the subject of the inestimable cost of propping up euro*ankers, and in the meantime Earthbound alien John Redwood has written this piece about whether central banks can go bust. The profoundly daft thing about the whole ‘liquidity provision’ process is that, at the current cost running rate, we could forgive all the ClubMeds their borrowing, and give the eurobanks all their risk monies back.

As it is, we have the central banks hosing the private banks down with our money, and those same banks demanding a zero haircut. Only the start of the First World War matches this for unbridled stupidity.

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How long does it take to bury a Korean leader? It’s a good question. After all, you can’t bury the bugger twice, it wouldn’t be seemly. But it seems the funeral lasted two days. I suspect the reason is that, given the depth of mourning involved, North Korean citizens had to do it in waves, so as to avoid congestion.

“The snow is endlessly falling like tears,” said a soldier shown on state television. “How could the sky not cry when we’ve lost our general who was a great man from the sky?” What a complete load of old bollocks. If you’ve ever spoken to people who lived under Communist regimes, then you’ll know that there is no such thing as ‘brainwashing’: over 90% of citizens keep their emotions to themselves, while seeing the Daliesque drivel they’re force-fed for exactly what it is – deranged nonsense.

North Korea remains the world’s most impoverished nuclear power, and it seems to me that the leadership needs a more commercial outlook. After all, an opportunity like the death of a God doesn’t come along that often, so it is amazing to me that no sponsors for the Kim Il-Sung planting were courted.  Interflora, I suspect, would’ve jumped at the chance. And California Cryogenics Inc must be wondering why they weren’t contacted.

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A third of all Brits claiming Jobseeker’s Allowance have a criminal record. Bizarrely, this information was not revealed to an unsuspecting public by the Dacre Mail: the analysis has emerged from a data sharing agreement between the Department for Work and Pensions and the Ministry of Justice.

In turn, 26% of the country’s 4.9 million benefit claimants have been cautioned or convicted in the past decade while many tens of thousands more criminals are also claiming other benefits such as disability allowances. You see, as I’ve often written, we shouldn’t assume that the disabled must be automatically nice: I have it on good authority that 1 in 8 of all safecrackers is entitled to use a disabled parking space. This helps when you’re about the tricky job of breaking into Tesco of an evening.

As always, we are left with the eternal chicken/egg debate: does unemployment make people turn to crime; or does a criminal nature automatically find it easy to burgle houses while defrauding the State?

*       *       *       *       *

Britain faces an “absolute crisis” in social care for elderly people as a result of cuts to services, the director of the country’s leading charity for older people has warned. Michelle Mitchell, the director of Age UK, said increasing numbers of older people with considerable care needs were “getting absolutely no support at all, or poor quality and limited support” as a result of cuts to local authority provision.

Michelle Mitchell – along with the Guardian, where this fiction first appeared – should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. To employ the long-term plight of old people as a propaganda club with which to thwack the Coalition is no different at all in essence to Arab Islamists using children as a human shield against attacks upon their redoubts. For both the Age boss and the Rusbridgers know perfectly well that the crisis in aged care was apparent ten years ago – a decade during which New Labour did zip to alleviate the problem, and then towards the end of its disgraceful record used Alan Johnson as the plausible frontman for a cynical attempt to present £15bn of existing DSS monies look like new expenditure.

It is of course completely unpardonable that banking and fiscal criminals throughout the EU are being showered with cash while our old people die in unpleasant third-rate retirement homes. But to blame this on ‘the cuts’ – when local authorities have great freedom to fire loafers and useless social workers as well as cutting non-essential services – is beyond cynicism. It is in another place, called The Sanctimonious Left. Think Lord Mandelson, and you’ll be on the right track. Think George Orwell, the USSR, and Aleksander Solzhenytsin’s books…and all will become entirely clear.

 

 

 

 

 

21 thoughts on “News Ketchup

  1. “…we shouldn’t assume that the disabled must be automatically nice: I have it on good authority that 1 in 8 of all safecrackers is entitled to use a disabled parking space. ”

    Sorry, but what we should automatically assume is that one in eight safecrackers has browbeaten, threatened and bullied their GP into writing them a disability assessment although they are perfectly fit.

  2. JW,you are straying into insane territory over debt forgiveness.These banks and sovereign governments who have issued debt instruments have creditors or shareholders who are real people,whose savings are sacrosanct.Our friend ,Garry,destroyed two major banks,the cost of which was put upon the UK taxpayer.Chapter 11 or insolvency is not a victim less crime.Given the scale of the mislending,and the resultant losses,it is hard to see how,in democratic countries,the innocent taxpayer will accept for years picking up the tab for those reckless borrowers.

    • @William

      there is a point at which debt forgiveness is possible. Much of modern economics as worked by the banks involves the creation of money through credit-debt contracts. The one that you have is eventually paid back and the interest is the bank’s profit. There is no debtor as such, no investor who will lose their investment. Pop that bubble, and all you have is the air inside it – if you do not pop the bubble, the interest still needs paying.

      The innocent taxpayer has a choice: pay up now and for three generations, or cancel the credit-debt contracts which will account for (at a guess) 90% of the debts involved. Clear up that little mess and we can all get back to work. Whether the banks would survive on such a small income (with 90% of their interest bearing loans gone) is another matter.

      Then there is Steve Keen’s idea of giving everyone a set amount of money.

      There are few easy ways out of this.

  3. Hi John, what a relief, for a minute there I thought that the crises we are facing in the UK is mum’s with tattoos singing in choirs on TV.

    Thank you for clearing up that misunderstanding. So all the people that gave up smoking, thereby reducing the tax take from tobacco, are living longer and there is no money to look after them? They didn’t think that one through, did they?

    May 2012 bring you joy and happiness, and keep on raging against the tides.

  4. Hi John,
    Thought the Korean plant was Kim Jong-Il?
    Re disability allowance, knowing a few who collect said allowance, it amazes me that the criteria for assessing who does or does not qualify are administered, in the main, by lay people. From one report I was given, if you were able to walk into the room, sit, then stand and bend forward, you were declared fit. In this case, two ruptured discs and a history of severe blood disorder were not only ignored but not even mentioned. I acknowledge there are a good percentage of scroungers, but I don’t think we have the wheat/chaff sift correct.
    Glad to read you’re enjoying your holiday :-)

  5. And here we have countries and banks bankrupt WITHOUT a credit event-miraculous!Indeed the derivative part of the banks are sacrosanct,with all else being given up for the derivative holder-look at MF global,where even gold in safe deposit boxes were seized for the derivatve.This has been made lawful and obscure to hide the theft of our lives.Meanwhile in sheds all over London guillotines are being built.

  6. ‘’To employ the long-term plight of old people as a propaganda club with which to thwack the Coalition is no different at all in essence to Arab Islamists using children as a human shield against attacks upon their redoubts.’’

    One of the ways my local authority is ‘saving’ money is closing day centres for the elderly as a direct result of imposed reductions in their grant by central government. I do think we need to rebalance our income and expenditure but the ways chosen for this are open to far too much apprentice politicking, almost to the point of gerrymandering. Quite a few of the middle and senior ranking great and good in our local government sector bailed out prior to April last year with enhanced pension entitlements, would you prefer this analogy? To pay them cuts have to be made in elderly care provision. It’s a mess top to bottom.

    Gemz,
    ‘’Pop that bubble, and all you have is the air inside it – if you do not pop the bubble, the interest still needs paying.’’

    Exactly, we are covering bets made with twinkledust with real money and all under the auspices of a FIAT system, its plain daft! We are destroying any hope of salvation in the real world to save a virtual one. Who’s idea was that, Mario and Luigi no doubt!

    • Actually it was Al & Ben, and Rob, Larry & Tiny TIm, more recently Jon, and lets not forget Lloyddy and all the other flowerpot men.

      “Talk about centralisation! The credit system, which has its focus in the so-called national banks and the big money-lenders and usurers surrounding them, constitutes enormous centralisation, and gives this class of parasites the fabulous power, not only to periodically despoil industrial capitalists, but also to interfere in actual production in a most dangerous manner— and this gang knows nothing about production and has nothing to do with it.”

      Karl Marx – Capital, Capital Volume III, Chapter 33 1894 (posthumously)

  7. ““The snow is endlessly falling like tears,” said a soldier shown on state television. “How could the sky not cry when we’ve lost our general who was a great man from the sky?” What a complete load of old bollocks. If you’ve ever spoken to people who lived under Communist regimes, then you’ll know that there is no such thing as ‘brainwashing’: over 90% of citizens keep their emotions to themselves, while seeing the Daliesque drivel they’re force-fed for exactly what it is – deranged nonsense.”

    Indeed. And the clip on BBC TV news last night of ‘mourners’ lamenting their dear leader’s departure was a demonstration of both first rate ham acting and the very process by which the dictatorship rules. With 25% (+?) of the population in the military—and thus a far higher percentage dependent on that structure for basix food and shelter—there is simply no possibility of dissent.

    Whether the lines of mourners were specially selected plants or not makes no difference: whoever was being filmed by state TV would have to put on the full monty show or face arrest as soon as the cameras had gone. You could see that in their faces behind the charade of grief.

  8. ‘I have it on good authority that 1 in 8 of all safecrackers is entitled to use a disabled parking space.’

    Hmm. I have it on good authority that half of all safecrackers are in fact claiming DLA higher mobility allowance, belonging as they do to the Safecrackers’ Information Network (SIN), an informal body that shares tips on how to pass the relevant ‘stringent tests’. The BMW’s that they get on the state are very well suited to the quick, green getaway, and blend well into the metropolitan car parks they frequent. Well you can’t park a dirty old van inconspicuously outside Waitrose, can you? The government is said to be trying to restrict this arrangement to really, really disabled safecrackers, but has met with determined opposition from the usual vested interests who see a potential reduction in their influence. Such is life in the bizarre world of UK benefits. Perhaps it would be simpler to give everyone who asks all benefits, and cut out all those employees in the food chain.

  9. ‘A third of all applicants for JSA have a criminal record’

    We need the context. If 50 per cent of a certain population has a criminal record that would mean those applying for JSA might be there because they were not criminals. I have no idea what per cent of the population has a criminal record but my guess is it is over 10 per cent and approaching or exceeding 30 per cent in a certain ethnic minority..

    • I have a criminal record, (ganga possesion fron 2001), andit’s not entirelly impossible that i may have to apply for the JSA at some point in the next couple of years, given how slow business is these days.

      Not everyone with a record is a criminal, and not everyone on benefits is a layabout.

      .

  10. Pingback: NHS READMISSIONS ‘SCANDAL’: WHY THE ONLY SCANDAL IS HOW THIS ARTICLE APPEARED. | The Slog

  11. Pingback: NHS READMISSIONS ‘SCANDAL’: WHY THE ONLY SCANDAL IS HOW THIS ARTICLE APPEARED. | The Slog

  12. Perhaps some of the disabled people are people who were abused as children, who ended up in childrens prisons and then on to jail, learning trades that dont bless other people whilst banged up. Not trying to make excuses for them, just trying to understand. Maybe if the Government didnt stop messing around with poor peoples children, labelling them “social scum” just because they are poor and letting secret courts steal the children away to give them to any Tom Dick or Harry (along with a big £520 a week fostering bonus payment) maybe there might be less smashed up people grown up with only one career qualification, of how to rob other people.

  13. Robbers, paedophiles and even murderers get slaps on the wrist these days. There have even been men who have murdered their wives and claimed they did it in their sleep, and actually got away with it! Theres paedophiles who manage, with their paedo lawyers, to blame the little victim for being a temptation, and got away with a light sentance or even none at all. Robbers breaking into peoples houses, and they dont fear justice, because they know they’ll only get a little fine that they can pay off with the spoils of their crimes.

    Its really not right trying to justify leaving disabled people in dire straights because of lame excuses like the ones being spouted out. Robbers paedos murderers ect, they shouldnt be claiming any benefits anyway, because they should be in jail! If they were jailed for a proper time they wouldnt need any of these benefits anyway!

  14. I feel a bit sorry for people who were abused as kids and turned to crime because I know what its like to be abused and left to rot. But why would you want to take it out on other people? Being abused doesnt give you a licence to make other peoples lives a misery! Sorry for going on.

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