No 1: Recycle them as disposable underpants

Made from hardwearing ECB banknote paper (Quality 1) this unique Slog offer provides the most Green way to dispose of worthless euro notes with both efficiency and style. Hand-made by Turkish Auslander in Stuttgart, the product features a chip-fitted belly-band which plays ‘You Britischers vill soon haff to join ze euro haha’ on a loop, or alternatively Francois Baroin observing that ‘Feelthy Rosbifs you do nert desairve yeur triple A’s, if so, we Frainch should ‘ave five A’s augh-he-hohhyy-hon’.

“There is nothing quite like the feeling of scratching your bum in the knowledge that you are giving the finger to the eurozone,” said confirmed user George Osborne, who sells the full range of euroknickers in his much-esteemed drapery store at Number Eleven Downing Street.

Available at a 99% discount from March 31st 2012

Related: Why there is no money left in the eurozone