Intelligent British bollocks will soon be a world leader once again

The Slog starts the day on a bright note

Watching British life at work gets worse. Yesterday it was the Treasury suing the ECB (Churchill in 1945: “Let’s sue Hitler!”) and this morning it’s a new ‘analysis’ from the BBC entitled, ‘Could Greece be Europe’s Lehman?’ Blimey, that’s a leap. Do you think the News of the World will survive this new Hackgate thing? I’m not sure myself.

The BBC goes one further on its UK page by not only printing the obvious, but reporting on research about the obvious. A new study shows that the percentage thinking MPs are ‘dedicated’ to helping Britain and its People has fallen from 46% to 25%. I’ve done some quick checking on the tabulations, and it looks highly like that of the 25%, half were MPs’ families on the payroll, a quarter were retired lawyers, and the rest were deaf. Sorry, I’ve just rechecked that last figure and discovered I was being deafist: the actual word was ‘dead’.

Meanwhile, 30 years after sell-by dates came in, they’re being abolished. It only took a Himalayan mountain range of food to be wasted before Parliament got round to doing something. Word reaches me, however, that large multiple retailers have been heavily involved in ‘lobbying’ about it. As a result of this legislation, all those companies specialising in reselling out-of-date goods suddenly have no business. Hence the lobbying. Ironically, the commercial culture has changed since sell-by dates were introduced, so the abolition of it has arrived just in time for everyone from Tesco to Asda to abuse it.

The Trade Union movement continues to break the speed limit in its fast lane to self-destruction, calling for widespread strikes that have no support from EdHead Labour, no support among the population, and may well coincide with the arrival of the IMF insisting we fire 40,000 more civil servants from the public sector. The trouble with civil servants as a term is that it’s a catch-all exploited by the right-wing press to suggest millions of bowler-hatted twerps in pinstripes with an umbrella pushing paper about. This is entirely unfair, as in reality it ranges from teachers peddling pc propaganda to our kids and Sir Humphreys lining their pockets with illegal pension benefits to local government planning departments taking backhanders from developers. It will be a problem, however if, after showering the Establishment with money these last few years, the developers suddenly find they have no money left for the bricks.

And staying with the building sector, the UN remains silent on the discovery of slavery in a developed country. Its representative Professor Yves Cabannes visited Dale Farm in Essex yesterday, and called the planned eviction an ‘inhumane and illegal violation of international law’, but seemed to have missed the Labour Camp element involved in the Travelling space. As Slog comment threader That Jon Allen (there is only one, thank God) pointed out yesterday, ‘travelling’ is what ‘travellers’ never do. But it points up the possibility of other odd occupations. As well as having travelling builders who never finish houses, we could develop unemployed people who don’t want to work, policeman who are too busy to nick the bad guys, and foreign secretaries who never visit Europe. In these hard times, we must think of every possibility in order to squeeze the very last drop from our rapidly burgeoning population.

You see, while the EU is deluded, disorganised, retarded and obese, it will never match the UK for stark-staring intelligent madness. As and when the EU finally implodes, this means we can go back to being global brand leader in bollocks. And with that positive thought, I hand you over to the rest of the day.

12 thoughts on “Intelligent British bollocks will soon be a world leader once again

    • Intelligent British… applying this to the pols, surely an oxymoron, or a complete moron for that matter.

      and finally…
      “with an umbrella pushing paper about”… just how do you do this… open or closed? indoors or outdoors? (To be avoided on a windy day if latter)
      answers on a postcard, please ;)
      we’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when…

  1. The country is in the hands of a bunch of kids, I didn’t feel very grown up in my forties, although I thought I had all the answers.

    Older hands need to keep challenging the sprouty nonsense of Cameron and co. If people are not happy we shouldn’t leave it to looters or spotty university students, people should withold their council taxes, or something else original that I can’t for the life of me think of this early in the morning.

    What seems so surreal are memories— memories of men in bowler hats, train loads of them off to work in the city-

    The only men you see in bowler hats now are old soldiers at the Rememberance parade!

    John, you remind me of our previous old spaniel, pawing the door to go outside-

  2. UN distances itself from site row

    http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5gNBrqGAsyH12_3lsKTCWDL_GY9Zg?docId=N0381431316003776041A

    “His visit came as there were signs of travellers beginning to leave the site voluntarily. At least five caravans are believed to have left on Tuesday night and a large chalet was seen being removed on two trucks on Wednesday afternoon”

    I wonder if Mr Cabannes offered them pitches near his home?

  3. Britain always was top dog at bollocks! It won us an empire-then lost it ( thank God) when we started to believe it-after all bollocks is for other people to believe, not the originator.
    The USA is blithely following the same path.

  4. On:
    - MPs and their dedication to us…over the last 30+ years we have witnessed a massive shift of power away from the people by way of democracy to unelected crats in our own government, the EU and other international orgs like the UN. The whole crat system is little more than a socialist gravytrain. And our own successive governments are just as guilty of facilitating this as foreigners. Democracy is slowly being dismantled because of its weaknesses and replaced by top-down authoritarianism. Will it all end in mass uprisings? or fascist police states? Who knows?
    - Sell by dates…this is so obviously because of retailer pressure and it will have consequences when people by packets of rotten ham and end up in hospital with food poisoning etc.
    - Trades Unions…we sometimes forget that the TU movement is still stuffed full of Communists (and Little Hitler fascists) hell bent on State ownership and Big Govt. I don’t believe that Red Ed is against their planned disruptive actions, only that he’s privately agreed with them to take a contrary stance in public to protect his voter base and avoid the Coalition Govt hammering him.
    That would explain the constrained heckling during his speech.
    - The UN…as John Bolton once said “If the top 10 floors were removed, nobody would notice any difference.”
    It’s become yet another global international organisation stuffed full of unelected crats with astonishing powers and spending budgets to match. Their current actions cast a shadow over the good they’ve done since WWII.

    Yes, Britain and the Western world are in one helluva mess and the last people capable of sorting it out are the politicans.

  5. You talk of the EU ‘IMploding’. Would that it were so! It’s more likely to EXplode and huge lumps of shrapnel will be heading their way to the bonces of UK PLC. Only the very rich will be able to afford protective headwear…

  6. Pingback: Good old-fashioned, world-leading intelligent British bollocks « Kevin Townsend

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